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Quick read! My ex, and a cute girl ^^
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, well since I'm converting thesite into my mini blog, you will have to excuse me for the next few weeks. But things are on the up! :thumb:
Firstly, not been in contact with my ex recently, but the other day I was at a LAN party (guy / geek thing, great fun
), and she messed me on MSN, asking how I was, acting really friendly. I said to her that it wasn't working like this, that she still wanted me to be her friend and really I can't be friends with her. She was very passive about it - I think it is the same her who is a bit of a coward to say bad things, so she was just saying 'look if you dont want to talk anymore its up to you'.
So in the future, she can look back and place the blame squarely on my shoulders. But our conversation got cut short, I tried to finish it this morning, but she said she was busy, and maybe we should finish this evening when she knew I was busy. I then resolved myself to the fact that I really cant be arsed anymore playing her games and feeling miserable as a result, and deleted her off my stuffs. Obviously she will paint me as the bad guy, but like I said to her yesterday, she's got her life, I've got mine, and never the twain shall meet.
Going forward, things are well with my friend L. Nothing romantic at all, but I feel like I've made a really good friend in her, someone who will look out for me
(which I threw in my exes face the other week when she turned up at my house impromptu acting like we were great mates, I said she couldn't be bothered to be there for me when things were shit when other friends could - she just wants to pretend as she likes lots of people to like her, and obviously as she was my +1, she got all my friends with me as well!).
Finally, the other day, I was getting lunch, and the girl at the checkout was fine. I had a nice little chat with her, was really nice, and started really for the first time seeing the 'other side' that inevitably I will meet someone who I think is equally good or even better than my ex. Of course I was too shy and thought it would be too weird asking her for her number. Perhaps I should have but oh well . I think most people would think it weird if they were working in a cafe or something and had a little chat with someone at the checkout and then they asked for your number, right?
I need to get used to this single thing :yippe:
Firstly, not been in contact with my ex recently, but the other day I was at a LAN party (guy / geek thing, great fun
), and she messed me on MSN, asking how I was, acting really friendly. I said to her that it wasn't working like this, that she still wanted me to be her friend and really I can't be friends with her. She was very passive about it - I think it is the same her who is a bit of a coward to say bad things, so she was just saying 'look if you dont want to talk anymore its up to you'.So in the future, she can look back and place the blame squarely on my shoulders. But our conversation got cut short, I tried to finish it this morning, but she said she was busy, and maybe we should finish this evening when she knew I was busy. I then resolved myself to the fact that I really cant be arsed anymore playing her games and feeling miserable as a result, and deleted her off my stuffs. Obviously she will paint me as the bad guy, but like I said to her yesterday, she's got her life, I've got mine, and never the twain shall meet.
Going forward, things are well with my friend L. Nothing romantic at all, but I feel like I've made a really good friend in her, someone who will look out for me
(which I threw in my exes face the other week when she turned up at my house impromptu acting like we were great mates, I said she couldn't be bothered to be there for me when things were shit when other friends could - she just wants to pretend as she likes lots of people to like her, and obviously as she was my +1, she got all my friends with me as well!).Finally, the other day, I was getting lunch, and the girl at the checkout was fine. I had a nice little chat with her, was really nice, and started really for the first time seeing the 'other side' that inevitably I will meet someone who I think is equally good or even better than my ex. Of course I was too shy and thought it would be too weird asking her for her number. Perhaps I should have
but oh well . I think most people would think it weird if they were working in a cafe or something and had a little chat with someone at the checkout and then they asked for your number, right? I need to get used to this single thing :yippe:
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Comments
Remember that a relationship breakup will always be your fault no matter how hard you try, you have accepted that and now you can go along your merry way :yes:
Right now it sounds like shes in the next phase of operations which is the 'offer to be your friend' stage so when you tell her shes a nutcase who needs a good MOT on her brain and to get her bolts tightened you are the enemy!
Generally if this is done by email there will be lots of full stops. short statements of her intent. that she wants one more chance. just one. you owe it to her.
Times like this I remember the sage adice my father gave me that has always stood me good: "Don't stick it in the crazy"
I've told her that to me, this is a breakup, this isn't ok, but she still wants to be friends, and keeps pretending we are friends - although she doesn't really make any effort to talk to me or hang out with me like she did. It's more like she just was talking to me to pretend we are friends, because for her, breaking up is too hard.
So I said to her that I'm fed up of the games and crap, and I don't think we should talk anymore - her response "ok" and "if that's what you want, that's what I'll do". Basically ultimately noncommital, because in all likelihood thats what she wants but she doesn't have the balls to come out and say it, because then that would be affirmation that she has broke up with me, and she can't deal with being the bad guy.
So instead, it's come about that I'm the bad guy who is breaking up our friendship, but I am happy to take that little bit of nastiness in exchange for ending these stupid games where she pretends it shouldn't matter.
And onwards to better things
Can I just ask what is LAN party (guy / geek thing, great fun ) for all those not down with the shortened terminology?
Thanks
Ya i read the other post
It is still your fault that you broke up (in her mind) regardless of what you did, how you acted, how she acted because you would not play the after party games.
Have fun being single too, its not half as bad as people make out
http://fragsoc.co.uk/gallery/2009-11-14/
Yea I know what you mean, I guess in a way it's me that couldn't handle the 'just friends' thing, but at the same time she should have known - she would have known - that I couldn't handle that. Being great mates yea and not attached yea, but playing second fiddle to another guy, no. Maybe I'm just jealous.
It was nice to appreciate how pleasant to talk to and attractive other people are though, I think it's something you de-tune when you're with someone (or believe you're with someone). Going ice skating tonight which should be fun
id have to say yes, iv been asked out a few times on a checkout etc and its just embarassing
LAN = local area network.. can be as simple as your home router set-up
LAN game = a game played over a network
LAN party = people turn up to an event with their computers to play games. Sometimes, the party can be thrown at home. Other times, it's an organised residential convention.
ShyBoy - v. interesting read. Thanks for keeping us posted. Judging by what you've written in this thread and in your last thread, I think you're in the right and your ex is in the wrong.
Life does go on, and life is just as good if not better
firenze - probs a good thing I didn't ask for her number then
But yea, other than that, things are great
Do you think if you're in a relationship you are allowed to act that little bit OTT if you know it's innocent?