My friends make me feel bad about myself

Former Member

basically, my friends never compliment me. ever. they compliment one another but not me. and before you say, maybe they dont have anything to compliment you on, without sounding too much of an arsehole i know i am a bit more attractive than them and wear nicer clothes. yes i know, why do i need compliments then if i know i look ok? well sometimes i need reassurance cos i do hve quite low self esteem, and when i ge all dressed up with them and they are calling each other nice etc and theres me with no compliments, it does make you feel like shit i can assure you.

i dont know if i come across as arrogant..i mean i dont think i do but i know i force myslef to act confident cos i dont want people to know how low my self esteem is. i have too much pride for that. even on my birthday, when i had spent 60quid on a dress and spent 3 hrs getting ready, not once did i get a "you look nice." i mean come on. sometimes i wonder why i am friends with the people i am, but then when i think about it...it is all women who treat me like this and its like i can cut off contact with every woman in the world. even my family are the same..i dont know what i am doing wrong! my bf tells me i always look good but sometimes it would mean so much for them to say something nice to me

anyone else feel like this? it makes me dread spending time with them :no:

Former Member

Maybe because of your "arrogance" and you knowing you look better than them, they maybe feel they don't need to compliment you as you act like you don't need compliments.... if that makes sense?

You may stand next to your friend and totally outshine her, so your other friends compliment her so she doesn't feel bad standing next to someone so much more good looking than her :-)

Former Member

Your friends are jealous of you, that's the reason they don't compliment you, because they want you to think you aren't as good looking as you are! Do you really need friends like these?

Former Member

You seem rather insecure, as some of your previous posts show...

little_tiny_flower wrote: »

i dont think i am that overweight, maybe a stone and a half or something. i do feel self conscious...

little_tiny_flower wrote: »

this might sound silly, but i feel sick with dread at the thought of a bad photo of me being seen by anyone.

little_tiny_flower wrote: »

i guess i am to be honest. my mum gives my boyfriend loads of attention when hes over, chats to him about NORMAL stuff. whereas his parents dont really seem like they give two fucks.

Former Member

Well from what you've said YOU know that your better looking them and such, so maybe they can sense that you think this and feel like there isnt a need to tell you. Either that, or there jealous.

Former Member

Or they think she's a bit stuck up. Equally possible, I'd say.

Former Member

The Convincer wrote: »

Or they think she's a bit stuck up. Equally possible, I'd say.

True.

Former Member

I think the reason they dont compliment you, is because they think you dont need the boost, if you refuse to show that you feel insecure, no one will pick up on it, so wont feel like you need that boost that people get from a compliment. I dont think they are intentionally trying to make you feel bad, but unfortunately the way you act makes it seem like you dont need these compliments, so people are less likely to pay you them

Former Member

The Convincer wrote: »

You seem rather insecure, as some of your previous posts show...

you're correct

Former Member

by the way thankyou for everyones input and opinions

**helen**

Do you ever compliment them? Even though you say you're better looking, there are probably things unique about them that you couldn't compete with - just as there is for all of us...we all have our own traits to bring to the mix.

By recognising those features in your friends they'll probably see a softer side to you and perhaps warm to you more and want to include you in their praise.

Take a look at this building self-esteem article if you haven't already. The BBC health website has lots of good stuff too.

You'll get there.