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under 16 and i wanna be a mum
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
im almost 15 and i really want sex but part of me only wants it coz i wanna be a mum has anybody else felt like this?
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its a natural instinct to get all squishy about babies, and to think about what it would be like to be a mum, but you can't just go round having sex to get pregnant, and it seriously helps to be all of the above, and to be doing it for the right reasons - not so you have someone else to love, or just so you have a baby, its important that you decide to have a baby because you're in a commited relationship and you both want to bring another life into the world - its an expression of love to want to create another being that is part of yourself and the person you love...
i don't want to sound patronising (which i'm sure i already do) but would will seriously respect yourself in the future, if you keep your virginity until you are in love with someone, and not just because you want a baby.
I imagine that its tough enough with the baby having a loving father around, going and having sex to just get pregnant isnt really going to lead to that scenario.
okay listen... I'm 12 and have already had to go for a pregnancy test. And, yeah okay I kinda want a baby- but when you are doing that test it's so scary. Thankfully mine came back negative, but if it hadn't I don't know what I'd of done. I didn't realise how scared I was about it till the test came back.. I was very happy. And honestly, now facing an STI. It's not worth it.... wait for at least another year, live your life first hunni x
C-A x
Babies may look cute and smiley when you see them but they're not. They need attention ALL THE TIME. Feeding, changing, entertaining, comforting etc. They need and depend on you. You can't just think I'm just going to nip into town to do some shopping or go out with my mates for the night, you have to think of the child, your life will not be what it was. It's not easy having a baby, it can be stressful, you'll be up in the night having to feed and become very tired. Also what about your education? You may not be able to have the job you dream of or finish of your education to the extent that you may want to. Therefore you may not be earning the same money that you could have done if you had stayed in education and not had a child. Would you rather not wait and have a decent job to give a child all it needs? Having a child isn't that simple, so please think about it seriously.
I recommend you watch "Underage and Pregnant", especially the one involving Jasmine - she struggled. It's can be found on BBC iplayer.
You're a normal young woman and your body is telling you to do what comes instinctively - to have babies.
But your body isn't always right.
It doesn't understand your current level of maturity, or your current psychological state, or whether you have the adequate social skills and financial means to have a baby.
So don't be tempted to have a baby for many years to come. You are dealing with a REAL life here. That 'cute 'lil baby' will be a troublesome older child in no time - and the start that you give it as a baby will likely affect it for the rest of its life. You could cause deep emotional scars on the child because you were not really ready to be a mother.
Remember, being a mother is a privilege ... not a right. Just because you CAN fall pregnant does not mean that it is the right thing to do.
Choosing to have a baby when you are not ready for one is a selfish act. Concentrate on getting a good education and a good job to ensure that this priceless gift is afforded every advantage that you can possibly give it.
If you really want kids at a young age then once you're legally old enough (and mature enough) I'd certainly recommend becoming an Aupair for a year and see what you think afterwards.
Once a young person see's how much hard work it is to look after a child 24/7 then they often choose to wait a bit.
C-A xxx
When you are a teenager you think you know everything when in fact you still have alot to learn about the world.
Yes i sound like an old fart, and to alot of you i am but i remember very well when i was a teenager and i remember going through the aaw i want a baby but i would have never seriously gone through with it. It was hard enough being pregnant when i was 23 and 29 with a partner let alone younger and single.
A year, she wouldnt even be 16...... think about it.
I agree. At the age of 16 you wouldnt be able to give everything you wanted to your baby, you wouldnt have any freedom. It could get so bad that you end up resenting your baby for taking your freedom away from you.
It would be a terrible mistake in my eyes if you made the choice to have one.
Yes, some people are good mums at 15, but they'd probably be great mums at 25, and would almost certainly be more easily able to support a family financially and practically.
Live first. Not another year, but another five years, at least.
Glad you two got back together.
???
You're back together???
C-A xx
I agree.
Like a 10 year period of time.
Why ruin two lives (yours and the babies) when you can live a bit longer and give a new life a much better opportunity.
Actually the peak of a woman's fertility is around 20-24.
We don't generally have kids in our teens in this society because we can't support them adequately. If you're a teenager earning enough to raise a child and you own or rent a suitable place to raise them in, then fair enough, have them if you really want. But do not just have them, without really thinking of the long term impact, and expect things to be worked out for you, and money to be provided. That shows a distinct lack of responsibility, something that a parent should probably have.
All that aside, why would you WANT to have kids in your mid teens? For me, the beauty of being that age, particularly as I neared the end of my teens, was that I could do whatever the hell I liked! I earnt a little bit of money, and I spent it all on me. I slept in for hours. I went out when I wanted. I made friends with whoever I wanted. I had boyfriends and I rolled home a bit too late after seeing them. Not the kind of life you can expect with a child under the age of 5. Not at all.
I think the comment your teacher made was when life expectancy was much much shorter in yesteryear days of long time ago etc.
:yes:
And then you can have my 9 year old brother and you can see what little sh*ts they are at that age lol