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Me poking my nose in
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right, my boyfriends parents are generally pretty unfair, but this ones really got me quite annoyed. They paid for his 15 year old sister to go to T in the park, but aren't even giving him a little money for us to go to France for a week, and theres always glaring unfairness to people on the outside. The main brother sister unit i've sort of grown up watching has been my cousins, who have always been treated totally equally, so when i see just how unequal it is in his family it actually really annoys me, i'm an only child so i've never really experienced this to the same degree, but is this sorta huge discrepancy normal in families? Part of me wants to pull up his parents about it cause it really annoys me, and its always happening. But i know that would just make everything worse.
Im not expecting them to pay the whole price of the holiday but even just giving him the equal amount of money that they paid for his sister for t in the park, or even a gesture
This is mostly just ranting, but i dunno why it really gets on my tits, but any opinions are welcomed
Im not expecting them to pay the whole price of the holiday but even just giving him the equal amount of money that they paid for his sister for t in the park, or even a gesture
This is mostly just ranting, but i dunno why it really gets on my tits, but any opinions are welcomed
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Comments
How old is your boyfriend? Also - is he working?
As soon as he turned 16 they started getting on his back about getting a job, but i really doubt they'll do the same for his sister, shes done just as many if not more things to get in trouble with them, typical teenage stuff like lying about being at a friends house and drinking in a sketchy wood, which he never did to anywhere near the same extent, its mostly about the fact that they have such different rules and standards for their two children, but also it is partially due to me really wanting a holiday lol
Not to mention the holiday is already booked cause he said he could do it, and i've offered to loan him the money, but he doesn't like the idea of owing me money
Are you working? The way you are describing it, it sounds like he is paying for the holiday...?
I am the eldest out of three, and I found my rules were a lot stricter than were applied to my younger brothers when growing up. Perhaps it's the norm?
Either way - it's none of your business what the parents do, so you need to chill your boots and not stick your nose into how they deal with their children.
If he still lives at home no way is he paying his parents the equivalent to what he would be if he was in his own flat/house share.
I realise that i am just poking my nose into the way their family works, which is wrong and i will obviously have a bias towards my boyfriend, but i have seen time and time again that the way they treat their children is completely different and to me seems unfair, but once that could just be because im an only child
And ?
If he wasn't going to college or doing some training course what was he gonna do. Sit on his arse all day watching TV while his parents clothed, fed and housed him.
Well that's your own folly. You shouldn't expect parents to automatically chip in, and your fella simply should not have agreed to go on holiday if he can't afford it. Did you pressure him into going - as you did mention you really wanted a holiday?
I don't think they should feel obliged to pay for your holidays.
:yes: Once I reached 6th form, my parents rarely bought me anything or gave me money for anything. If I wanted anything, I'd pay for it.
Not your problem. Drop it.
:yes:
Although I wish my mum would pay for my T in the park ticket
It is abit unfair, There are 6 children in my family, and if one of us gets money, the rest get the same... Anything my older brothers or sister have had, ive got waiting for me in a savings account.
I was in the same situation with a boyfriend not long ago, his 17 year old sister got holidays paid for her, she dropped out of school and sat on her arse all day... while he worked to pay his mum keep (he didnt have to) but he never got any money for holidays, or half the things his sister got! it used to really annoy me cause i knew it upset him too. unfortunatly theres not alot you can do, its down to your boyfriend to say something to his parents, he could always ask them to lend him the money and he could pay them back as and when he could or something? either way dont get to worked up about it... its not your family, and each family are different, in my opinion all siblings should be treated the same but it doesn't always work like that...
I raged against it for years, but then spoke to my much older brother about it and he said it's always the way it will be in families and life - that some will get more and some will get less - and so all you can do is try to work hard for yourself and find ways of making what you want happen.
Pays dividends when you leave home too.
And yea daughter is 15 why shouldnt they treat her he is working full time you say right now so he needs to manage his mone, and you need to chill and leave yourself out of it.