Teacher-Pupil Relationships

Former Member

.

Former Member

.

Former Member

i'm slightly confused, does she feel the same way about you? or does she not know whats happening

Former Member

Don't even think about having a relationship with her. It is totally unacceptable for a teacher to have a relationship with a pupil. What makes you think she would be interested in you anyway?

Former Member

Fruit Loop wrote: »

Don't even think about having a relationship with her. It is totally unacceptable for a teacher to have a relationship with a pupil.

shes talking about after she leaves. I know of situations in my school were ex pupils have go together with teachers.

What makes you think she would be interested in you anyway?

I think this is a bit harsh. you dont even know the full situation.

Former Member

notanotherusername! wrote: »

shes talking about after she leaves. I know of situations in my school were ex pupils have go together with teachers.



I think this is a bit harsh. you dont even know the full situation.

Sorry if I'm coming across as harsh, totally not my intention! What I'm trying to get at is that she is infatuated with her teacher, but there is no evidence that she feels the same way in return. I don't want her to get knocked back, it would help to know more about the situation which obviously I don't.

Former Member

It's illegal for someone to have sex with a person under the age of 18 if they are in a position of power over that person. This would include teachers, youth workers, doctors, etc.

Once you've left there's nothing legally stopping someone from having a sexual relationship with a former pupill, but it does tend to be frowned upon professionally.

I think you need to file this under 'unrequited crush' and move on with your life; go out and meet women your own age.

Former Member

Fruit Loop wrote: »

Sorry if I'm coming across as harsh, totally not my intention! What I'm trying to get at is that she is infatuated with her teacher, but there is no evidence that she feels the same way in return. I don't want her to get knocked back, it would help to know more about the situation which obviously I don't.

:yes: i agree, more info would be good.

If the teacher doesn't feel the same way thats going to be awkward. And it is frowned upon quite a bit.

Former Member

When you mention high school, are you in the USA or in the UK, most users are UK based here.

There is not much point even debating the issue if the teacher has no feelings or intentions towards you.

Former Member

Kermit wrote: »

I think you need to file this under 'unrequited crush' and move on with your life; go out and meet women your own age.

:yes:

Former Member

if you are at school it is ELLEGAL to have a sexual relationship with a teacher. But once you left school then it isnt!

once you have left school you are also able to be friends with a teacher there is not law against that i am still in conact with a teacher from my old school and i have been since i left, we meet up have coffee, email etc.

this applies in the uk i am not sure about any other country and there laws.

Former Member

hiddenxxsecrets wrote: »

if you are at school it is ELLEGAL to have a sexual relationship with a teacher. But once you left school then it isnt!

Not quite: it's illegal for them to have a sexual relationship with you. They're the ones who get the criminal record, not you.

And even if you've left when they start a relationship with you, it can still mean that they're considered unfit to teach by the professional standards body.

There's nothing wrong with being friends or seeing them socially, though. One of GWST's old teachers is a bass player in a ceilidh band and played at our wedding.

**helen**

.Adelaide. wrote: »

It's actually getting to the point where I feel so awkward around her. I can't stop thinking about my teacher - first thing when I wake up, last thing when I go to sleep. I'm starting to feel that if she doesn't want to stay in contact with me that there's no point living.
Please help!

Big hugs to you.

How is school going? Do you have many friends/are you enjoying your subjects? Sometimes when we go through mundane periods in our lives we can get distracted by something that we think will make our life feel more exciting - could this be the case for you? Or maybe there's something worrying you that you don't want to confront? This again can trigger a crush.

Check out TheSite.org's article on coping with a crush as it sounds like, at least for now, it would be good for you to regain some control over your feelings.

Take care.

Former Member

.

**helen**

.Adelaide. wrote: »

I am enjoying school (I have finished sitting my highers and am in my final year) but I don't have any true friends I can count on, apart from my teacher of course. I'm too critical - I always find flaws in my classmates and I don't want to be around any of them for longer than necessary. The only person I can really speak to properly is my teacher. We have long conversations about our favourite books and films, and we enjoy a bit of a debate!

Makes sense that you'd look to this friendship if you're struggling to find compatibility with other school mates. Lots of people don't find 'true' friends at school for the reasons you state - sometimes people's maturity levels really differ, yet people are expected to gel because you're the same age. Are you involved in anything social outside of school? That may be a good way of finding older friends who perhaps have similar interests to you. I know lots of my peers made closer friends at music clubs, through volunteering or holiday schemes etc.

It may put the teacher in an awkward position if you suggest friendship after school, but I guess you could ask her if she wouldn't mind sharing email addresses when you leave or something like that as a way to keep in touch.

Are you off to uni this year?

Former Member

After you've left school I don't see any problem with stayiong in contact etc, see if she has facebook or something so you can keep in contact, you could use the private mail if your worried about other people you know finding out? You should suggest going out for a drink or something? :wave:

Former Member

Im sure the OP said they had no idea about how the other person felt, I think this is just a one sided infactuation.

Former Member

Hi Adelaide.

She is probably an excellent teacher and treats all her pupils well but when she gets home at night, she likely shuts the world out and concentrates on her own life and family. Why do you think that she would want to maintain the friendship with you under those circumstances? What is so special about you that she she would have more than just a passing interest in your future life and career?

You say that your feelings are not sexual but 'infatuation'. What is it about her that 'infatuates' you? I think that your affection is probably very one-sided and you are probably repressing your sexual desire for her but trying to cover it up as something else. I think this could lead to heartbreak if you pursue this and even perhaps embarrass yourself if you should make this known.

Unless you are absolutely certain that her affection will be reciprocated, I would move on and change the focus of your attention on someone who is more appropriate. *hugs*

Former Member

I think you should probably come to terms with that fact that its a one sided thing. Yeah, it will probably hurt but she is a grown woman who was a life of her own and that. But once you've left school, its ok for you to be friends with her, like you could add her on facebook or something, I have with some of my teachers as its nice to keep contact with some of them once you've left. But you must know deep down that nothing can happen here, so maybe give it time and try focus on something else.

Former Member

.