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Teacher-Pupil Relationships
Former Member
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shes talking about after she leaves. I know of situations in my school were ex pupils have go together with teachers.
I think this is a bit harsh. you dont even know the full situation.
Sorry if I'm coming across as harsh, totally not my intention! What I'm trying to get at is that she is infatuated with her teacher, but there is no evidence that she feels the same way in return. I don't want her to get knocked back, it would help to know more about the situation which obviously I don't.
Once you've left there's nothing legally stopping someone from having a sexual relationship with a former pupill, but it does tend to be frowned upon professionally.
I think you need to file this under 'unrequited crush' and move on with your life; go out and meet women your own age.
:yes: i agree, more info would be good.
If the teacher doesn't feel the same way thats going to be awkward. And it is frowned upon quite a bit.
There is not much point even debating the issue if the teacher has no feelings or intentions towards you.
:yes:
once you have left school you are also able to be friends with a teacher there is not law against that i am still in conact with a teacher from my old school and i have been since i left, we meet up have coffee, email etc.
this applies in the uk i am not sure about any other country and there laws.
Not quite: it's illegal for them to have a sexual relationship with you. They're the ones who get the criminal record, not you.
And even if you've left when they start a relationship with you, it can still mean that they're considered unfit to teach by the professional standards body.
There's nothing wrong with being friends or seeing them socially, though. One of GWST's old teachers is a bass player in a ceilidh band and played at our wedding.
Big hugs to you.
How is school going? Do you have many friends/are you enjoying your subjects? Sometimes when we go through mundane periods in our lives we can get distracted by something that we think will make our life feel more exciting - could this be the case for you? Or maybe there's something worrying you that you don't want to confront? This again can trigger a crush.
Check out TheSite.org's article on coping with a crush as it sounds like, at least for now, it would be good for you to regain some control over your feelings.
Take care.
Makes sense that you'd look to this friendship if you're struggling to find compatibility with other school mates. Lots of people don't find 'true' friends at school for the reasons you state - sometimes people's maturity levels really differ, yet people are expected to gel because you're the same age. Are you involved in anything social outside of school? That may be a good way of finding older friends who perhaps have similar interests to you. I know lots of my peers made closer friends at music clubs, through volunteering or holiday schemes etc.
It may put the teacher in an awkward position if you suggest friendship after school, but I guess you could ask her if she wouldn't mind sharing email addresses when you leave or something like that as a way to keep in touch.
Are you off to uni this year?
She is probably an excellent teacher and treats all her pupils well but when she gets home at night, she likely shuts the world out and concentrates on her own life and family. Why do you think that she would want to maintain the friendship with you under those circumstances? What is so special about you that she she would have more than just a passing interest in your future life and career?
You say that your feelings are not sexual but 'infatuation'. What is it about her that 'infatuates' you? I think that your affection is probably very one-sided and you are probably repressing your sexual desire for her but trying to cover it up as something else. I think this could lead to heartbreak if you pursue this and even perhaps embarrass yourself if you should make this known.
Unless you are absolutely certain that her affection will be reciprocated, I would move on and change the focus of your attention on someone who is more appropriate. *hugs*