planning for a baby with stale sex

Former Member

hello i was just wondering if i could have some help

me and my partner are trying for a baby and it just seems like our sex is verry planned and very repetative

its like were having sex for a baby and not really enjoying it ourselves

it just seems to be routine and i want to just feel the need to want him again and not havwe sex for the hopefull outcome of a baby

i think a problem may be the amount where having sexc we have been trying for over a year so its like we dont want to waste tiome and any free time we do it

could i have some help to try and spice things up again but not jeprodise my chances iof a baby

thanks xx

Former Member

xx_littleangel_xx wrote: »

hello i was just wondering if i could have some help

me and my partner are trying for a baby and it just seems like our sex is verry planned and very repetative

its like were having sex for a baby and not really enjoying it ourselves

it just seems to be routine and i want to just feel the need to want him again and not havwe sex for the hopefull outcome of a baby

i think a problem may be the amount where having sexc we have been trying for over a year so its like we dont want to waste tiome and any free time we do it

could i have some help to try and spice things up again but not jeprodise my chances iof a baby

thanks xx

You've been trying for over a year?! I read on here that if you've been trying for over 6 months, it could be worth getting checked out by the doctor. I could be wrong though.

Former Member

If you've been having regular sex- at least 2-3 times a week- for a year then it's probably worth speaking to your doctor about it. It's not unusual for it to take that amount of time but it's worth having a talk with them about it. Usually they suggest seeing a doctor after 6-12 months, depending on how often you have sex.

As for helping you with your sex life, I think that's a bit harder. It's easy to say try and worry less about making a baby, but it's a lot harder for you to relax that much. I'd say don't focus on making a baby, have sex for the orgasm and the intimacy rather than the pregnancy, focus on kissing and caressing each other. Give each other oral sex. Have sex in a different place- on the kitchen table, in the garden, wherever. Just do something to break up the monotony of always having missionary sex in bed in an evening.

Former Member

this is a really really common problem when people are TTC and a lot of people give up because of how much it ruins their sex life.
After a year I would consider chatting to the doctor, but some say up to 2 years and they wont even do anything

Former Member

thanks for all your feedback

we have talked about going to see the doctor but i think my partners a bit worried i think hes convinced theres a problem with him and if so i think its just a male thing

ive tried to explain it may be something with me or there could be nothing wrong atall hes just a bit hesitant

but i think we should really get checked out.

and thanks for some suggestions to try and spice up our sex life x

Former Member

I think the important thing is to stay intimate. Lots of kisses and cuddles and stroking.