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Would you find this offensive?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I'm sorry if I'm posting this in the wrong place but hey ho.

I was talking to a gentleman friend online, we both quite like each other and whatnot and he made a comment about it being frustrating that he's not had sex for 2 months as he split with his girlfriend. So I said back something to the tune of, at least you're not me because I've not had any for 9 months even when I was with my ex because of a medical problem. He said it wasn't comparable because men have higher sex drives and therefore his was worse than mine. I thought this was quite an offensive thing to say and he shrugged it off, said some pretty harsh things and went offline.

Have I missed something here? I mean if you changed women to, I dunno, something like white men have higher sex drives than Asian men, that'd be offensive so why is it not offensive if women are involved?

Anybody?

EDIT: Oh for goodness sake, he has deleted me off Facebook! What an arse!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hes an arse
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Offensive... no. But the man is a prat. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm glad it's not just me lol.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Marina Aniseed wrote: »
    I'm glad it's not just me lol.

    No, it's not offensive in the slightest... but he is indeed a plonker!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, I didn't need the OTT abuse and deletion that came my way lol. I was agreeing that he's being a bit silly because I thought it might have just been me who found it a tad extreme.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    While I'm not saying I agree with his overall point, I'm sure I've read numerous articles which say a man's sex drive is usually a lot higher than a woman's.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Be that as it may but it doesn't matter if you've not had sex for 2 months, 9 months or 9 years, if you want it you want it and gender shouldn't come into how much you want it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Marina Aniseed wrote: »
    Be that as it may but it doesn't matter if you've not had sex for 2 months, 9 months or 9 years, if you want it you want it and gender shouldn't come into how much you want it.

    Um....I refer you to the opening 10 words of my post....:cool:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry, sorry. I'm just a little tense about it lol. I just didn't appreciate the generalisation and his complete and utter refusal to believe that I might have a sex drive equal to or higher than his.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Marina Aniseed wrote: »
    I just didn't appreciate the generalisation and his complete and utter refusal to believe that I might have a sex drive equal to or higher than his.

    I agree with this, I hate when men assume that your need to take care of a certain itch isnt as important or urgent than theirs.

    I wouldnt say a mans sex drive or horneyness is higher in terms of intensity but the need for sex probably comes about more often than women.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In the words of Nana "What a load of old shit!".

    You're seriously better off not knowing someone like that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There have been studies that compared lots of different factors around libido, but there are so many different factors that play a part in individuals sexual drive (and their willingness to be honest about it) that comparing an individual group to another (whether by gender, ethnicity or anything else) seems increasingly redundant.

    What really matters is that he said he had a problem, you agreed as you're going through the same thing and he dismissed your concern as less important than his - so yeah, an arse. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    he hasn't had any for 2 months, so he's uptight right now. Hmm why don't you guys hook up? kidding
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no, I don't think there is any reason to be offended.....you need some and so does he......did you ever notice when it's been awhile since you had some and your irritated by almost anything...you both need to get some soon...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It doesn't matter whether it's true or not. The fact is that you were presumably trying to let him know you know where he's coming from, y'know in that caring way that normal people do. He acted like a wanker, which I'm guessing is what he's going to be for the forseeable future.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey mama wrote: »
    no, I don't think there is any reason to be offended.....you need some and so does he......did you ever notice when it's been awhile since you had some and your irritated by almost anything...you both need to get some soon...

    I'd really quite like to but until my medical problems get sorted, it's not going to happen I'm afraid.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Out of interest why, if you like the guy, did you turn the convo into potential argument?

    Granted the guy does sounds like a grade A-twat. But wouldn't it have been better to suggest something naughty to him like, "I can give you a hand with that problem wink wink".:p

    Maybe the twat thought you were turning things into pissing contest and didn't want to be beat, so brought genders into the mix to save face.

    Oh well he's lost out now hasn't he and you've found out he's twat :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I first read your post I assumed he was trying to really badly and not so subtley flirt.. but now he just seems odd!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would also find it offensive, to have someone undermine or place less worth on your feelings because of your gender or any other determinant.
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    Something I hear a lot and have seen on the boards is 'guys are only ever after one thing'.
    This is no more offensive than that.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Harmless wrote: »
    Out of interest why, if you like the guy, did you turn the convo into potential argument?

    Granted the guy does sounds like a grade A-twat. But wouldn't it have been better to suggest something naughty to him like, "I can give you a hand with that problem wink wink".:p

    Maybe the twat thought you were turning things into pissing contest and didn't want to be beat, so brought genders into the mix to save face.

    Oh well he's lost out now hasn't he and you've found out he's twat :)

    I didn't intend to turn it into an argument at all. He told me that his lack of sex was worse than mine so I asked him to explain how he'd concluded this and he said it was because men have higher sex drives. I said I thought this was a dodgy generalisation and not really on and he said he didn't care then started flinging insults my way :s

    To Skive, I see your point, but I also think that generalisation about men isn't on either. Some of my closest friends are men and if all they wanted was to get their leg over then surely they would've stopped talking to me a long time ago when they realised it wasn't going to happen?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote: »
    Something I hear a lot and have seen on the boards is 'guys are only ever after one thing'.
    This is no more offensive than that.

    but that's still offensive isn't it? :p I mean of course we all shrug it off but that doesn't mean it's an innocuous inoffensive comment.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If we spend all our lives being careful not to offend anyone then the world is going to be a very boring and bubble-wrapped place. I'm not saying we need to offend in order to amuse but really, people get offended in some way each and every day without feeling the need to make an issue of it. Cut everyone some slack, no-one is perfect. What one person finds offensive, another will find it as 'water off a duck's back'.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I find with what people say and do to me, that their intent sometimes means more than the content of their conversations/actions, in deciding if it is, or if I find it offensive.
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    SkiveSkive Posts: 15,286 Skive's The Limit
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    but that's still offensive isn't it? :p I mean of course we all shrug it off but that doesn't mean it's an innocuous inoffensive comment.

    I shrug it off as a typical commetn from a woman. :p


    Sure it's offensive if you let it worry you too much. Personally I think people are offended to easilly sometimes or certainly make a big song and dance about being offended when really they could just let it go. Lifes too short.
    Weekender Offender 
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Skive wrote: »
    Lifes too short.

    Sums up my opinion 100%
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It might be dumb or uninformed what he said, but - to me - in no way offensive.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    'Men have a higher sex drive than women' is not an offensive statement.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do understand where you're coming from, I think given a couple of days hindsight, I think I'm more offended by what he said and did afterwards in relation to me disagreeing with him than by the original comment.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What he did, possibly offensive, definitely twattish :)
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