Does your other half know about thesite?

Former Member

My girlfriend knows there is a site I go on to ask questions, post advice, chat, etc. When we've talked about it I said I don't want her to know which website it is, as I don't think it would be too difficult to find me from the things I've posted. Then it would be like reading diaries from when I was younger - i.e. a collection of my private thoughts, which I only share with people online who I don't really know.

My opinion is that most of the old stuff isn't relevant to our relationship, and my private thoughts were only posted here in the assumption nobody in my life would see them. She says if there's nothing I wouldn't talk about with her it doesn't matter, which is true, but the things from when I was younger I feel I don't want people to see. What do you think?

Former Member

I find it cringeworthy reading back what I wrote last week, let alone 4 years ago. I wouldnt feel comfortable having someone I know looking through all my thoughts, that are all perfectly innocent and respectful by the way (ahem).

Former Member

I met my other half on here, so I should imagine he does know about it.

Former Member

No she doesn't and I don't really want her to.
She has looked over my shoulder and seen me on here a few times, but I've always minimised the window. Because of this she does know I post in a forum, but she doesn't know the website name or what it's about, and I don't really think she cares tbh.
She has her diary which I would never read and I have here. It's about privacy and respect really innit.

Former Member

A 'acquaintance' from london introduced me to the site. She stopped posting (yea I did come to one conflict I can remember over the site) and yea, that's that. Wouldn't show any new partners thesite willingly.

Former Member

My boyfriend doesn't know. I've mentioned that I'm a member of a forum sometimes, because things discussed on here sometimes come up in our conversation, but he doesn't know which it is and I wouldn't want him to. Mainly because there's a lot of stuff on here slagging him off when he broke up with me but also personal stuff I'd just rather he didn't read. I guess it is kind of like a diary. If he did find it, it wouldn't be the end of the world, but it's just nice to have somewhere to vent about stuff in private (though obviously I know it's on the internet for everyone and anyone to read!)

Former Member

Yeah, my ex girlfriend freaked when she found LJ entries from back when I was really depressed. I told her about the Site and she promised not to use it, although she once did do a search on here for some info for an essay or something without telling me. *shrug* Aside from anything else, I needed space to be able to talk about the relationship without thinking she would read it, that was important to me.

Former Member

Only thing I'd say to people who consider the forum to be like a diary is: remember it is public. You can be traced very easily on here, especially if you're as much of a gobshite as I am, so be careful how many personal details you put down.

It's a safe place to vent, don't get me wrong, just remember not to put personal identifying information in.

Former Member

My husband knows and even has a profile name as i made him sign up to send me valentines wishes - however he doesn't really care that much to read what I write on here - just in the same way i dont' find his MG Rover website interesting and snoop around on that either.

But i feel that i probably don't discuss my relationship on this website in a negative way or use it as a place to vent about things

Former Member

Kermit wrote: »

Only thing I'd say to people who consider the forum to be like a diary is: remember it is public. You can be traced very easily on here, especially if you're as much of a gobshite as I am, so be careful how many personal details you put down.

It's a safe place to vent, don't get me wrong, just remember not to put personal identifying information in.

yeah, it ranks pretty highly on google. its one of the least private websites there is

Former Member

My ex knew but I told him not to go on here. It sounds naive but I really dont think he did, he wasnt really bothered about my inner most thoughts luckily.

Sometimes it's difficult to hide using this messageboard and I hate the idea that all my old posts can be dug up by people that I know offline and they have in the past. I wont stop using this forum though, it is my sanctuary

Former Member

Yes. I never ask any questions or put anything I don't want people to know on here, so it's not an issue. Also, I don't have any issues that I'm unhappy dealing with straight up in real life, so I don't use this site for what a lot of people use it for.

Former Member

I met him here, so yes. It does stop me posting stuff I would have otherwise posted if he wasn't a member, even though he barely visits here anymore. Saying that, I probably wouldn't post that stuff here anymore anyway because there's stuff I don't want other people knowing about. I have my LJ for stuff like that and if there's stuff about him I really need advice on without him knowing I can just filter him out of an entry.

Former Member

I post on a handful of forums and the OH knows about them all but I don't think he can be arsed to read them all.

Former Member

The issues that really bug me, I will go to a friend via txt or IRL, because i know they are not the kind of stuff i need advice on, just validation, or to rant about

Also, i know some people IRL that use this site also, so i wouldn't be comfortable posting certain things on here

Former Member

g_angel wrote: »

Yes. I never ask any questions or put anything I don't want people to know on here, so it's not an issue. Also, I don't have any issues that I'm unhappy dealing with straight up in real life, so I don't use this site for what a lot of people use it for.

yea. after all this years we do not even know how you look like... You could be Danny DeVito's twin for all we know. (and not schwarzenegger from that movie. a monozygotic one)

Former Member

Yes. I know he's read what I've posted in the past and it doesn't really bother me. It's nowt I wouldn't tell him if he asked, anyway.

Former Member

Ma missus has never heard of or used thesite.org

Former Member

Olive wrote: »

It's nowt I wouldn't tell him if he asked, anyway.

this.

Former Member

wooooooooah wrote: »

My girlfriend knows there is a site I go on to ask questions, post advice, chat, etc. When we've talked about it I said I don't want her to know which website it is, as I don't think it would be too difficult to find me from the things I've posted. Then it would be like reading diaries from when I was younger - i.e. a collection of my private thoughts, which I only share with people online who I don't really know.

My opinion is that most of the old stuff isn't relevant to our relationship, and my private thoughts were only posted here in the assumption nobody in my life would see them. She says if there's nothing I wouldn't talk about with her it doesn't matter, which is true, but the things from when I was younger I feel I don't want people to see. What do you think?

I made a mistake of mentioning the gist of what this site is etc, to an ex, while we were going through a 'happy' patch. That sadly didn't last long and I was on here moaning like a bitch looking for advice.
She did little snooping about and found this site, she then created a profile and started posting on my thread! :eek: It was very fucked up, and she got insight into my feelings and pain as a result. Yes, it was my own fault, I’d deff not make the same mistake twice.

I think some things are best left private. I’d suggest you keep your bird and this site separate.

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

yea. after all this years we do not even know how you look like... You could be Danny DeVito's twin for all we know. (and not schwarzenegger from that movie. a monozygotic one)

LMAO!!

Some people on here know what I look like :wave:

Former Member

Danny DeVito g_angel is not [/Yoda]

My boyfriend is aware of this place and what it does, but he doesn't know my username or stuff like that.

He does occassionally log on the computer remotely and I'm online so he sees what I'm typing out. One time I was replying to a thread about thrush.

Former Member

Pfft, if it was me i'd install a keylogger

not that it matters as I know all of lolzabeths passwords and she knows mine including thesite.org ones.

Former Member

Hellfire wrote: »

not that it matters as I know all of lolzabeths passwords and she knows mine including thesite.org ones.

I have a hard enough time remembering my own passwords, nevermind adding my boyfriend's.

My guy knows there's a site, but not its name, that I actively post or the url. I know he posts on some forums but I honestly don't care what they are.

Former Member

Jaloux wrote: »

I have a hard enough time remembering my own passwords, nevermind adding my boyfriend's.

Quite easy, I have a combination of 10/12 and lolz only has 6/8 to remember. Ive always been good with passwords,

Former Member

I have been on here since 2001 (the reason my post count is so low is because a few years ago i requested that all my old posts be deleted) and i have NEVER mentioned it to anybody, if any friends/family/partner ever joined i wouldn't use thesite again... i come here when i have problems and questions to ask that i can't in "real life"... if anybody ever found out my user name then it would ruin it for me and i wouldn't feel comfertable posting

Former Member

Wow Harmless, you had it pretty hard there, I'm sorry to say.

Advice when sharing a computer in the house - make sure you clear your browser history, or the bit of the history that contains TheSite! To be even more sneaky - if, say you use Chrome or Firefox as your main browser, use TheSite with Internet Explorer. If you empty the IE history after that, you are leaving even less traces then.

Even better - no matter which browser is your main, try Portable Firefox. A browser-on-a-stick which you carry, and you can password the stick if it's enabled.

As for me, my parents know of my handle 'Monserrat', so they could dig me out if they wanted to. I don't think I've put anything overly sensitive though, thanksfully. Maybe 1 or 2 posts about my weight but that's about it.

Former Member

±Lover± wrote: »

if any friends/family/partner ever joined i wouldn't use thesite again... i come here when i have problems and questions to ask that i can't in "real life"... if anybody ever found out my user name then it would ruin it for me and i wouldn't feel comfertable posting

Same. If i found out somebody i knew was on here, i wouldn't like posting my problems here, in case they knew it was me.

I wouldn't mind my other half knowing i use this site but i wouldn't want him to go rooting through my posts and looking at my personal thoughts and problems

Former Member

Interesting answers. I feel slightly validated in refusing to tell her what site it is now!

Former Member

±Lover± wrote: »

I have been on here since 2001 (the reason my post count is so low is because a few years ago i requested that all my old posts be deleted) and i have NEVER mentioned it to anybody, if any friends/family/partner ever joined i wouldn't use thesite again... i come here when i have problems and questions to ask that i can't in "real life"... if anybody ever found out my user name then it would ruin it for me and i wouldn't feel comfertable posting

holy damn you really are pretty 'old' (join date wise). I thought you were new with this boyfriend fiasco.

Former Member

I wouldn't tell anyone I know about thesite. Few people on here know who I am and even less what I look like
Some things are best kept separate :thumb: