Home Sex & Relationships
Come and join our Support Circle, every Tuesday, 8 - 9:30pm! Limited spaces available! Sign up here
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

why does this always happen to me?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey all,
today i had finally plucked up enough courage to ask this girl out and guess what, yet again i found out she has a boyfriend, its happened to me before this but its never really hit me this hard

I couldn't stay in college i felt so shit, so i came home and i've just been sat in my room pretty much just crying and trying not to self harm again, i havn't yet but i think i may end up just cutting my self to get some sort of release and to get my mind off things

as you can imagine i didn't ask her out or anything, but i just don't know how to stop crying
I don't want to move on because she's the first girl that i've really had a connection to, we have a similar sort of music taste, we like the same sort of activities and when ever we talk we just click

we don't hang out that often because we have diffrent groups of friends and we usually hang out in a break between our history lesson.

I just really have no idea what to do, i fucking well hate my life and sometimes i just think y am i here theres nothing i'm doing apart from wasting everyones time and space, i fucking hate my life atm

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cant really give much advice- *HUGS*
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do you have anything you can do to take your mind off things? Somebody you can talk it out with?
    I'm just coming off the back of something fairly similar ... fell for someone who had so much of what I'd been wishing for for a very long time, and never realised quite how deep I'd gotten until there was a final 'No chance' issued to my brain that it was never ever gonna happen.

    It fucking tears you apart, and you feel like you don't want to move on because you've had a connection that you were building into something much more in your head. But in reality, all you're losing is whatever it is you have with her right now, because the 'could have been' scenarios are just fantasy.

    If you can make that distinction (and it sounds obvious, but I really struggle) then you'll find it much easier to walk away.

    It's a good thing that you're not constantly in touch with each other (same friendship groups etc), because if you busy yourself with work and other activities then your mind will let go quicker.
    It becomes a lot more complicated when that's not the case :-/


    I guess all I can really say is good luck, and don't do anything you'll regret. She's not turned you down, and even if you had asked, it's not because of you, it's just unfortunately not the right time. It's incredibly tempting and easy to get into a spiral of despair and worthlessness, some days are better than others.

    Talk to a mate if you can, get it all out in the open and maybe when you talk it through you'll start rationalising it all a bit, and begin to construct a way out of feeling so bad.


    .... and that's the end of my ramble.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    honestly now, this will happen many more times in your life and it's pretty common to not have success with every girl you "click" with. Listening to the same music and doing similar activities is not the definition of your soulmate. Again, this is something usual and not the end of the world and will happen more often in your life. It's a disappointment yea, but you'll soon enough will and have to learn to accept that.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey don't worry. Just because she's got a boyfriend doesn't mean she's going to MARRY him! In 1997 ( like donkey's ago!) I was dating this guy. we were in a night club when I was approached by another guy I recognised. We spoke, because I knew him to see him around, & also wanted to talk to him because I knew his Aunt had died in a car accident the year before. Eventually my boyfriend came over & we had to go. I knew his guy liked me,( I liked him too) but i had to say "i've got a boyfriend", I mean I had to be loyal, you know, and we left the club. But Time moved on, I split with the boyfriend, & who am I married to now.....the guy that approached me that night in the club ( who's aunt had died). Sorry for the long story, but the bottom line is.... whats for you, won't pass you by!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    NavyBlue wrote: »
    Hey don't worry. Just because she's got a boyfriend doesn't mean she's going to MARRY him! In 1997 ( like donkey's ago!) I was dating this guy. we were in a night club when I was approached by another guy I recognised. We spoke, because I knew him to see him around, & also wanted to talk to him because I knew his Aunt had died in a car accident the year before. Eventually my boyfriend came over & we had to go. I knew his guy liked me,( I liked him too) but i had to say "i've got a boyfriend", I mean I had to be loyal, you know, and we left the club. But Time moved on, I split with the boyfriend, & who am I married to now.....the guy that approached me that night in the club ( who's aunt had died). Sorry for the long story, but the bottom line is.... whats for you, won't pass you by!

    Yup same thing with me... I'm now with the guy I was friends with a year ago. We both liked each other but i was with someone else at the time. When we broke up i got in contact with him and things went from there.

    Everybody has this problem where they want people they cant have. You just cant take crushes too seriously and pin all your hopes on it.

    And as NavyBlue said, if its meant to be, it will happen!
Sign In or Register to comment.