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why does this always happen to me?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey all,
today i had finally plucked up enough courage to ask this girl out and guess what, yet again i found out she has a boyfriend, its happened to me before this but its never really hit me this hard
I couldn't stay in college i felt so shit, so i came home and i've just been sat in my room pretty much just crying and trying not to self harm again, i havn't yet but i think i may end up just cutting my self to get some sort of release and to get my mind off things
as you can imagine i didn't ask her out or anything, but i just don't know how to stop crying
I don't want to move on because she's the first girl that i've really had a connection to, we have a similar sort of music taste, we like the same sort of activities and when ever we talk we just click
we don't hang out that often because we have diffrent groups of friends and we usually hang out in a break between our history lesson.
I just really have no idea what to do, i fucking well hate my life and sometimes i just think y am i here theres nothing i'm doing apart from wasting everyones time and space, i fucking hate my life atm
today i had finally plucked up enough courage to ask this girl out and guess what, yet again i found out she has a boyfriend, its happened to me before this but its never really hit me this hard
I couldn't stay in college i felt so shit, so i came home and i've just been sat in my room pretty much just crying and trying not to self harm again, i havn't yet but i think i may end up just cutting my self to get some sort of release and to get my mind off things
as you can imagine i didn't ask her out or anything, but i just don't know how to stop crying
I don't want to move on because she's the first girl that i've really had a connection to, we have a similar sort of music taste, we like the same sort of activities and when ever we talk we just click
we don't hang out that often because we have diffrent groups of friends and we usually hang out in a break between our history lesson.
I just really have no idea what to do, i fucking well hate my life and sometimes i just think y am i here theres nothing i'm doing apart from wasting everyones time and space, i fucking hate my life atm
0
Comments
I'm just coming off the back of something fairly similar ... fell for someone who had so much of what I'd been wishing for for a very long time, and never realised quite how deep I'd gotten until there was a final 'No chance' issued to my brain that it was never ever gonna happen.
It fucking tears you apart, and you feel like you don't want to move on because you've had a connection that you were building into something much more in your head. But in reality, all you're losing is whatever it is you have with her right now, because the 'could have been' scenarios are just fantasy.
If you can make that distinction (and it sounds obvious, but I really struggle) then you'll find it much easier to walk away.
It's a good thing that you're not constantly in touch with each other (same friendship groups etc), because if you busy yourself with work and other activities then your mind will let go quicker.
It becomes a lot more complicated when that's not the case :-/
I guess all I can really say is good luck, and don't do anything you'll regret. She's not turned you down, and even if you had asked, it's not because of you, it's just unfortunately not the right time. It's incredibly tempting and easy to get into a spiral of despair and worthlessness, some days are better than others.
Talk to a mate if you can, get it all out in the open and maybe when you talk it through you'll start rationalising it all a bit, and begin to construct a way out of feeling so bad.
.... and that's the end of my ramble.
Yup same thing with me... I'm now with the guy I was friends with a year ago. We both liked each other but i was with someone else at the time. When we broke up i got in contact with him and things went from there.
Everybody has this problem where they want people they cant have. You just cant take crushes too seriously and pin all your hopes on it.
And as NavyBlue said, if its meant to be, it will happen!