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Psychology of shyboy

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Why am I only attracted to girls who are taken or completely unobtainable (i.e. tv and film stars lol). This is a recent phenomenon pretty much. But I get those tummy feelings about girls like that. But then say it's someone who is single and shows interest in ME, I might get on with them like a house and fire and even flirt a fair bit but I just don't feel that spark.

A friend said to me several months ago after I had an unusual reaction to something that I was 'broken' as a joke, based on the fact I spend my spare time on the internet searching out human misery (not sick stuff, btw, just like people proposing to their girlfriends publicly and getting rejected :/). Although that may well just be schadenfreude.

I don't know whether it's just a case of jumping to silly conclusions because I haven't met the right person at the right time yet, or whether a past relationship 'trauma' in a sense has subconciously affected me into self sabotaging any potential relationships. This is all just musings after someone mentioned something like this in chat the other day, so it may well be that they 'planted' the idea in my head and I've run away with it.

What do you think guys :)

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh, hey. You and me both, pal. Let's see if something meaningful comes out of it.

    btw. it's Schadenfreude. Not to be a nitpicker, but as a rep of the german language I aim to teach :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ShyBoy wrote: »
    btw, just like people proposing to their girlfriends publicly and getting rejected :/). Although that may well just be schadenfreude.

    I don't know whether it's just a case of jumping to silly conclusions because I haven't met the right person at the right time yet, or whether a past relationship 'trauma' in a sense has subconciously affected me into self sabotaging any potential relationships. This is all just musings after someone mentioned something like this in chat the other day, so it may well be that they 'planted' the idea in my head and I've run away with it.

    What do you think guys :)

    Haha! I was looking up videos like that the other day!
    I enjoy tragedy because I am human. I am justified in this because I have studied a course on aesthetics and therefore it is okay. Anyway...

    I'm a master of fucking up my relationships with others - be it friendships or relationships with boys. But I reckon that this is because I've been royally screwed over in the past by a lot of people (bullies, abusive boyfriends and a neglectful father) so when things actually do work out, I get confused. I start over thinking everything and worrying that I'm going to do something wrong. But then in worrying about doing something wrong, I generally do. Oh dear. Hence why I have never had a best friend :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I do the same thing.

    I think I just never expect things to work out. So if anything looks like it's heading somewhere I just think 'ahh but it's not really going to work out'... So it's got to the point where I just go for unavailable guys cos it cuts out the getting your hopes up and then getting screwed up part. At least I think that's what's happening.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lu_C wrote: »
    I do the same thing.

    I think I just never expect things to work out. So if anything looks like it's heading somewhere I just think 'ahh but it's not really going to work out'... So it's got to the point where I just go for unavailable guys cos it cuts out the getting your hopes up and then getting screwed up part. At least I think that's what's happening.

    Yup. Better entertain feelings for someone who won't/can't reciprocate them and therefore can't hurt you, and have some dickhead say they have feelings but fuck things up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think I've been rejected so many times, that I just don't have the courage anymore, because somehow I'm convinced that it's gonna fail anyhow (i.e. end up in a reject). So I don't even try anymore, but just fall for the girls out of my league so I don't have to blame myself if I don't make a move, because it's pointless from the start. I can't hold a friendship with a girl for long and I'm "scared" of girls, because as soon as I fall for them, the pain begins - at least in my imagination, because of the trauma. It's like a déjà vu. And soon I'm saying to myself, oh shit oh shit emergency exit, lay waste and run.

    It probably sounds like it's really bothering me, but it's not so severe, which might be another reason for worry, because I just don't give a jack anymore.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    join the club about taken or unobtainable girls
    its not a small club
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tr4shed wrote: »
    Heh im worse, i only seem interested in girls, when im with someone >=[

    :no:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've always thought you were, and still are, a rather decent chap Shy.

    Some of us can be quite destructive of our life, on purpose, without realising it at the time. I know i am. I think to myself sometimes 'that with all that's wrong with me, all my illnesses and hang ups, i still have the power to fuck up my life even more' and regularly do.

    Maybe it's menatl illness, human nature or whatever ive no idea. Maybe you don't have enough confidence so set yourself unattainable goals to set yourself up for failure, i do. This isn't what i think is wrong regarding your situation, just ramblings that might provoke an answer :)
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