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Should we stop treating those with disabilities as special?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I was just reading this:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7948511.stm
The mother made her son stay in normal school, and seems to have made every effort not to let her son become mollycoddled and take the idea that he was different from everyone else onto a higher plain. It made me think that to a degree we do wrap those with disabilities up in bubblewrap almost. I mean, I know it's a dreadful comparison, but say you were with some kids and one of them said something nasty to one who was disabled often we would be shocked and feel compelled to step in because we don't feel they are able to defend themselves.
I guess in a sense it's like being cruel to be kind. We defend the most vulnerable people in our society but in doing so we prevent them from becoming able to defend themselves.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/7948511.stm
The mother made her son stay in normal school, and seems to have made every effort not to let her son become mollycoddled and take the idea that he was different from everyone else onto a higher plain. It made me think that to a degree we do wrap those with disabilities up in bubblewrap almost. I mean, I know it's a dreadful comparison, but say you were with some kids and one of them said something nasty to one who was disabled often we would be shocked and feel compelled to step in because we don't feel they are able to defend themselves.
I guess in a sense it's like being cruel to be kind. We defend the most vulnerable people in our society but in doing so we prevent them from becoming able to defend themselves.
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I work with kids at an afterschool club both for children from mainstream schools and with children with additional support needs. In fact, several of the kids that need special care and attention actually do go to the mainstream school. Several girls in wheelchairs/walkers, children with down syndrome etc all attend school with other 'normal' children their age. It's very healthy and very encouraging. In this enviornment the kids actually flourish far better than they would in a space specifically meant for additional support needs children.
Every child is special - and every child needs to grow up with other children in order to advanceme socially, mentally and physically.
There, my tuppence for the day.
There is definitely a place for specialist schools until the time that mainstream caters better for special needs kids - especially at a secondary level
My brother was involved in a lot of activites for disabled children when he was younger, and in my experience mothers of disabled children are either the stereotype of the "pushy mother" or completely over protective, thinking their child wouldn't be able to cope with anything without them. In my opinion, this stopped them achieving any kind of independence and was more for the mother than the child.
I don't think people with disabilities are the most vunerable members of society. They're only vunerable because people have decide what they can and can't do the day they're diagnosed. It wouldn't be acceptable for a teacher to say that because children from single parent families do worse in exams they shouldn't be put through the stress of GCSE's or they all need compulsery extra lessons, so it shouldn't be acceptable to decide that disabled children need to be "protected" from certain aspects of life.
In many cases children with disabilities do benefit from being in the mainstream school system. I've been with two wheelchair bound guys in class and both were generally accepted in the classroom. I didn't treat them much differently and certainly didn't hesitate to curse one because he won almost all my pogs off me.
When its learning difficulties etc, then its harder for mainstream. Its not a case of treating them the same or not. Its more of a case of can a normal school meet my childs specific needs. I got the impression that the mother in that artical was pretending her son had any special needs at all, and tbh, he was stuck between two cultures, not fitting in to either. Mind you, a lot of downs children do well in mainstream. I think its easier in a way because they look disabled too. Theres a marker so people will always give them leeway.
Its quite a hot topic for me. My 8 year old has recently been diagnosed with autism, and whilst im happy for him to remain in his lovely primary school with their continuity of care, lovely caring environment, same teacher for everything - the idea of him going to a normal secondary school, fills me with dread. I imagine him having great difficulty being autonomous enough to get himself from lesson to lesson by himself, or dealing with the different teachers throughout the day without getting distressed. I cant imagine him reaching anywhere near his potential without quite specific help, so a special school is one option im looking into.
My brother is deaf and did really well at his boarding school for the deaf. He moved to a local mainstream secondary school when they opened a deaf unit and immediatly didnt do so well, was very obviously different to everyone else. Went downhill academically, very quickly.
When he went to college, he specifically chose a deaf college.
Its all very well wanting integration when there isnt the funding or facilities to make it work.
Integration "sounds" like such a wonderful word, but in my opinion, its a cost cutting exercise rather than necessarily in the childrens best interests.
I worry that if say a child with a disability goes to a restaurant and doesn't get what he ordered his mum or carer will go and complain and make a big fuss about how they're disabled and special and so on and keep going on like that and prevent the child gaining independence in being able to 'stand up for themselves'. That's just one narrow perspective of it though, just thoughts after reading that article... (because obviously he seems to be quite capable of being independent, but like the mother said a lot of girls and presumably other guys his age are 'institutionalised' or are thought of as children)
That, though, is just bad parenting. I've met many mothers who are outraged that their child has been allowed to participate in games with other children. I can understand that they are anxious about the welfare of their child, but some parents can be very controlling over them. At the end of the day, most children with additional support needs don't get the chance to learn from their bumps and grazes like other kids.
:yes: This is the problem I had in September and I've had to adapt to the ignorance of SENCO (I shouldn't be even using a computer, according to them:rolleyes: ) and the lack of funding for disabled students in further education.
I agree. I know quite a few blind and aprtially sighted people. Some went to mainstream schools and got on ok and others had problems, or went to a school for the blind. I've never gone to one of those schools for the blind and have coped well (with a few minor diffuclties) in mainstream schools.
I know I went a bit off topic there but it had to be said...
Should we stop treating those with disabilities as special ? - Depends on what their disability is. Either way, every single person who is disabled should be treated the same as any other human as close as possible.
Gifted children should be given extra help to stretch them and children with learning disabilities should be given extra help to help them acheive as near to someone without those disabilities as they can.
If allowances need to be made, they need to be made. Unless im grossly misunderstanding what you mean by "treating them as normal" then I think that all that would lead to is children with additional needs falling further and further behind. These children are already at a disadvantage, and not recognising that and giving extra support would be a step back for society.
Its the equivalent of saying someone in a wheelchair shouldnt be given ramps because theyre going to have to learn to deal with stairs at some point
But how does one define 'normal'? I'm treated differently at college, as are some of my friends (they have learning difficulties and one has spinal problems) but that it is to allow us to reach our full potentional, like everyone else.
I don't want to be trated as 'special' or differently to anyone else.
:yes: I know quite a few people with the same impairment as myself. Whilst some of us have similar needs, some of us need completely things that the other doesn't. And some of them are in the situation (lucky sods) where they need no adjustments at all.
I agree. It's very important that every child is helped, not matter what level their abilities. For example, it's important that my sister gets to sit her exams a year ahead of when she should because she's so clever, just as it's important that one girl I looked after got to take some hours out of school to see her physiotherapist.
I think what ShyBoy might be referring to here is the way in which many children aren't perceived in the same way as others. Too many people see a child in a wheelchair and think "Aww, the poor thing...So awful. We need to wrap her up in cotton wool." When really, the child just wants to play and have fun just like his/her friends.
I think part of it is up to the attitude of the parent/carer. I used to have 2 friends who had mild cerebal pausy, and their mum wouldn't let us go out into town (aged 12 nearly 13) without either my mum or theirs. When my mum took us out she'd kinda let us get on with it, and be in the distance. But their mum really really fussed over them too much.
On the other hand, one of my best friends who has a very severe form of hyper mobility syndrone, which causes her a lot of pain and means that she uses an electric wheelchair most of the time, unless she's only walking very short distances - like around the house or at the pub. Ok, she is 19, is its a bit different, but her parents have very much let her get on with things all through her teens, and they only step in when needed. She currently has a 24 hr supervision order due to her depression, which is linked to her condition, which has deteriorated rapidly in the past 18 months. But she lives a very full life asides not being able to go to college because there isn't one within resonable distance which is wheelchair accessable.
theres lots of things that she's having to learn, and if she had been rapped up in cotton wool, i think she'd be really struggling. Instead she's planning to get married in 2 years time and wants to move out once her supervison order is taken away and the council can provide her with something suitable.
On the other hand, i think if i had had more support when i was younger i would be doing much better now, insted of just about keeping my head above water...
but in the case of getting parents and carers to let the young person be more independent, it has to be sensitive to both parties. A mother who is so used to making all the decisions for their child is going to find it hard to suddenly give it all up. Each person is an individual has thus has to be treated that way.
I personally don't see whats wrong with that woman wanting a "mainstream" life for her son, if he is capable...
Most downs children arent nearly as high functioning as her son, and whilst it must be a nice pat on the back for her to think its because of her parenting, it could very easily not have been, and with all the "treating normally" in the world, a high proportion of downs people will not lead a normal life.
I meant outside the educational sector and workplace, for example in town on public transport they shouldn't need to feel patronized because they are the way they are. - Sorry if I made my point a bit unclear
Yea it was how in the article they said a lot of other people his age with illnesses had been 'institutionalised' and treated like they're children.
If someone was stuck in the body of a baby, you wouldn't leave them to fend for themselves and walk around places, simply because they can't. Likewise if someone doesn't develop mentally leaving to completely fend for themselves would simply be cruel.
My girlfriend occasionally gets problems with her back. It means sometimes she has to walk with a frame, or use a wheelchair if her back is causing loads of trouble. If I dared treat her any differently because of this, I'd be out the door. Very little actually changes as a result of her troubles - I still treat her like anyone else. It just means that activities like ice skating are off limits. But I've never had any interest in ice-skating, so I don't care.
You treat her differently when you dont do things youd normally physically do because shes in a wheelchair, even simple things. You make allowances for peoples differing needs
I agree with you, just food for thought I guess. I had a friend with MD and he was wheelchair bound and unable to lift his arms above his head, but we still went to the pub and had some beers. I'm sure every situation is different but I just hope that those who do have the capacity to lead a full life aren't held back by either their parents or carers or others in the system who have the impression they aren't able to do anything on their own (if that makes sense).
I dunno, maybe because you decided to put about how you wouldnt treat your girlfriend any different to an able bodied person even though she gets a bad back sometimes, means that people should treat downs (as in the op) people the same, and make minimal allowances.
But people with disablities are normal people, they are just the same as everyone else.
But how do you define 'severe'? I know many people with minor disabilities, yet because of the way their disability affects them, they have to be treated differently.
Are we talking about making sure we dont treat disabled people badly, or are we talking about not making any concessions for their additional needs?
This is what I'm wondering too.