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Old Friends with New Lovers
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
So basically my friend just got into a new relationship - with a guy that lives in the flat across the hall. So that means they're together CONSTANTLY, as in more constantly than most people in new relationships are. However, my friend is annoying when she's in a relationship. Everything becomes about the guy, she suddenly doesn't give two shits about when I'm feeling crap or about anything I do. She's really touchy feely with her men too, not in a humping kind of way but in a...well, just a touchy feely kind of way! Haha!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter or jealous. I'm in an amazing relationship with my long term boyfriend. But it's annoying. Really annoying. Maybe I'm jealous of him? I don't know, but it pisses me off how I've gone from best friend to a nobody. She never has time for me anymore. And she never has time for her uni work cause she's always sleeping in late with him. She's just really annoying and really clingy.
I'm not really looking for advice about what to say to her because she's she and she'll do it anyway. That and we're flatmates and her new bf is flatmates with my friends.
I just wondered if anyone else had been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it?
Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter or jealous. I'm in an amazing relationship with my long term boyfriend. But it's annoying. Really annoying. Maybe I'm jealous of him? I don't know, but it pisses me off how I've gone from best friend to a nobody. She never has time for me anymore. And she never has time for her uni work cause she's always sleeping in late with him. She's just really annoying and really clingy.
I'm not really looking for advice about what to say to her because she's she and she'll do it anyway. That and we're flatmates and her new bf is flatmates with my friends.
I just wondered if anyone else had been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it?
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New relationships are always exciting. I guess being at Uni you both still relatively young. I in no way mean to be patronising so please don't think i am but most people that around that age arn't yet aware of the more important things in life.
I have no doubt she'll get bored soon and will then probably apologise for being distant for a while.
Nothing to worry about but I understand your pissed!
I actually can't believe you just said that, but thanks anyway.
Why?
Because he suggested that cause I'm 'so young' that there's not point in me being concerned about this.
Yeah, okay, it's only trivial but I sure as hell know what 'matters' in life.
Oh, ok
I think he meant that because she's so young she doesn't get that friends are more important than a fledgling relationship, not that you shouldn't be concerned about it.
Might be wrong, but that's how it read to me. And I agree. When you are younger and you meet someone new, it is really easy to get caught up in it and ignore the rest of your life. Have you tried explaining how you feel to her? Maybe suggest the two of them going out somewhere with you and your bf, so she doesn't have to prise herself away from him?
Oh! Well, in that case, it's definitely true and I apologise to him!
See, that's the thing, even when the four of us are in a room together, my bf and I end up feeling awkward even though we're in a relationship too! Still...her bf doesn't seem to respond in the same way so maybe he's feeling the same way we are!
No need to apologise at all. Unfortunatly I don't always choose the right words when I try and explain things.
Yes my words were entirely directed towards your friend and not yourself in anyway. What i sort of mean is that if I were to go back to when I was say 18/19 (and im only 28 by the way and certainly no expert) then I probably wouldn't be thinking about my close friends as I do now. I know for sure I would have been caught up in the moment and prob would not have given my best friend much of a second thought.
Nowadays I always look at what consequences my actions will make, and try to make a balance.
Im sorry if you thought i was being disrespectful, and I assure you I was not. As I say, sometimes im a bit of an idiot when trying to explain things!