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I'm so upset all the time :(

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
please help me. i cry constantly. at tiny little things. someone only has to not smile back when i smile at them and itll ruin my day. i get so senstive about the slightest little things. i cry at least 3 times a week, mostly when i talk to my boyfriend. i get upset if he doesnt text me back straight away, doesnt call me cos hes working, thinks im wrong in an argument. im actually in tears right now because my boyfriend raised his voice at me in an argument and told me i was wrong (which i was.)

the fact of the matter is that i just feel inadequate all the time. i am so paranoid that when people look at me, they are thinking what an ugly sight i am. i hate it if my boyfriend looks at anyone else, even to just say excuse me! i have had problems with my weight before, i.e nearing towards anerexia. right now i guess i eat too much. i wouldnt say im fat, just a few pounds over. nevertheless, i feel so unattractive all the time. i am constantly looking for reassurance from people that i look alright and am a nice person. i am not exactly thick but then again i am not exactly einstein. this gets me down, because i feel constantly inferior to my friends and boyfriend.

i hate my job, and i cant seem to get a new one. i am 19 and have worked as a checkout operator for 2 years now. originally i wanted to work within admin or secretarial work and work myself up to be a pa, because that sort of industry doesnt rely on grades. but now i want to become a child nurse and i doubt that i will be able to do such a job. i havent heard back from the uni i want to go to and i dont think i will get in. i havent passed my driving test after 3 tries and this gets me down. all my friends and bf are at uni, and i feel so inadequate because in the meantime i have to wait till i can start till september (if i even get in.)

i dont know if this is depression, or just mere self pity. i know i sound self obsessed but you have no idea what my life is like. sometimes i actually prefer to stay indoors all day than go to see my boyfriend because i hate the thought of having to go out in public and go through the torment of paranoia.

my boyfriend thinks i am just a pessimist, which i am. but how can i be so negative about everything in my life? in retrospect, i have nothing to complain about: lovely bf, great fam and friends, nice house which i dont pay board for yet, aspirations.. it just is never enough. i constantly compare myself to others and put myself down, knowing ill never be as good as them.

is this depression? if it is, im scared that ill need medication to deal with it. my boyfriend was horrified when i suggested it and said it was a slippery slope especially because im only 19. im on the pill, which admittedly has made me a bit more emotional. but to this extent? im at rock bottom right now. :crying:

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It is best to go see your gp. You may not be depressed, even if they were to classify you with any type of emotional issues, there is no saying that they will throw you on medication and it is definatly not a slippery slope.

    No matter what you feel or if you are depressed or anxious or anything at all, counsiling, therapy and the like are always options. Even if you are just down or going through a difficult time, talking to somebody about it and finding ways to overcome it can make a world of difference.

    It is best not to assume you have anything, and even more so, it is best not to assume such medicated negative outcomes.

    Talk to your gp definatly. This is definatly not a good way to feel. They can find you somebody that will help you, no matter what. :) The ways in which talking to somebody and having them help you find ways to deal with your emotions and thought can work absolute wonders. It will take time though. But getting started early will also help alot. Take care :heart:

    I'm a little tipsy, sorry if that doesn't make much sense and it is all fluffy :p But I know what I'm trying to say and feel free to pm me any time! I've got like over a decade with all that jazz :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you been like this for long? I'd definitely suggest seeing your GP and telling them everyone you've told us.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Firstly, I like to say I am sorry to hear you are at rock bottom. Your emotions dont mean necessarily you need to see a GP as you are still only 19. It might help to talk with your Gp though to talk about how you are feeling right now. Gp surgeries do have councellors that you might be referred to but you do sound on a low at the moment. I would not worry what others think. It also sounds as if you are suffering from low self esteem and lack confidence. As for the job situation there are courses that would make you qualify to become a nursery trained ie Nvqs. I dont know you but from what I have read is that you are very much on a low.
    Maybe talk to your parents? A friend? Or seek advice from your Gp there is no harm in telling them what you are feeling?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How long have you been on the pill for? I was on it for years and I was always up and down. I changed the brand of pill I was on 4 times and each time the mood swings and feeling emotional would creep back up on me. The last pill I tried was Microgynon 30 and I just felt like a mess on it, just crying and depressed alot even though I didn't have any reason to be so after 3 months of that I quit the pill altogether and now I feel normal and stable! I think it was just too strong for me.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    How long have you been on the pill for? I was on it for years and I was always up and down. I changed the brand of pill I was on 4 times and each time the mood swings and feeling emotional would creep back up on me. The last pill I tried was Microgynon 30 and I just felt like a mess on it, just crying and depressed alot even though I didn't have any reason to be so after 3 months of that I quit the pill altogether and now I feel normal and stable! I think it was just too strong for me.

    i'd agree with this, i tried 3 brands of the pill and they all made me...crazy! well i had extreme moodswings, feeling extremely emotional etc. i'd never go on the pill again, i only feel stable now that im not on it.

    however i think that it sounds like there could be other issues that you might need a little help with, i.e low self esteem and self confidence etc. i really feel for you some of the stuff you say in your post really rings true and reminds me of how i used to be. if you wanted to work in admin is there no way you could ask to transfer departments in your supermarket, and ask to maybe be considered for a job in personell or on reception etc? might not be perfect but worth a try?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lipsy wrote: »
    The last pill I tried was Microgynon 30 and I just felt like a mess on it, just crying and depressed alot even though I didn't have any reason to be so after 3 months of that I quit the pill altogether and now I feel normal and stable! I think it was just too strong for me.

    yes i am on microgynon 30! my sister had to come off it, made her weird. ive been on it for nearly 2 years now. do you think i should try changing to another?

    and thankyou everyone so much for your kinds words :) i feel better today. im trying to be more positive cos i know sitting around feeling sorry for myself isnt going to help. i will mention how im feeling to my doc when i go talk about the pill. :blush:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :wave: Hiya little_tiny_flower, I'm another one who had to come off Microgynon 30 for these reasons. Incidentally, last night my boyfriend and I were talking about the effects it had on me and he referred to me as Jekyll and Hyde - when I pushed him on this he said it wasn't that I was horrible (although I think I was to be honest) it was just that one minute I was happy the next I was really sad. I remember paranoia about how I looked, low self esteem and being convinced my boyfriend was going to leave me too. Coming off it definitely worked for me, I'm on Ovranette now and so far haven't experienced any mood swings on it - I would say definitely speak to your doctor about it and see what they say. I hope things get better for you, I know how horrid it is to feel so out of control of your emotions.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Glad that you feel better. I am on the same ones but not had any side effects was reading them this morning....would put me off taking them completely. They gave me wrong pill before and boy was I not good.
    Still,glad you are better.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I also felt quite insecure on microgynon! And it made my appetite huge. It's scary how much of an effect these pills can have on people.

    yes i am on microgynon 30! my sister had to come off it, made her weird. ive been on it for nearly 2 years now. do you think i should try changing to another?
    It might be worth speaking with your doctor about the other pills available. They vary in strength and even vary in the generation of hormone that they have in them so it's a guessing game really when choosing a pill although your doctor would probably suggest a lower strength one now.

    I used Loestrin 20 for about 18months which was fantastic for the first year (although the change from Yasmin (same strength as Microgynon) to Loestrin made me an emotional wreck for a few weeks.)
    But the problem I find with the pill is that even when they seem to work great for you, symptoms do creep up on you and you start to get bad pmt or feel moody/emotional. Loestrin decresed my sex drive too and the doctor said that was due to the low eostrogen.

    I guess it's a try and see thing! good luck :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    StupidGirl wrote: »
    :wave: Hiya little_tiny_flower, I'm another one who had to come off Microgynon 30 for these reasons. Incidentally, last night my boyfriend and I were talking about the effects it had on me and he referred to me as Jekyll and Hyde - when I pushed him on this he said it wasn't that I was horrible (although I think I was to be honest) it was just that one minute I was happy the next I was really sad. I remember paranoia about how I looked, low self esteem and being convinced my boyfriend was going to leave me too. Coming off it definitely worked for me, I'm on Ovranette now and so far haven't experienced any mood swings on it - I would say definitely speak to your doctor about it and see what they say. I hope things get better for you, I know how horrid it is to feel so out of control of your emotions.

    ok, everything you have just descried is EXACTLY how i feel!! in fact, ive felt this way ever since i went on the damned pill!!! My god, i cannot believe that the possible main reason for my moods was staring at me right in the face!!!! one minute im laughing, the next im pushing away my boyfriend cos hes upset me when he hasnt really done anything!!!!

    and also lipsy, i agree with the huge appetite. i have put on weight since i started taking microgynon, must be why people warn you that weight gain is a possibility.

    i feel soooooooo happy that this may be sorted easier than i thought. im gonna throw away my pack actually, even if i dont see the doctor. :D so grateful to you all, truly i am.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've just been back on Dianette (for my skin) for the past few days and since I've been on them I've been on edge 24/7 and all I wanted to do was sleep which I was doing a a lot of :(. I stopped taking them today and I already feel tons better.
  • C FunkC Funk Deactivated Posts: 163 Helping Hand
    Hi little tiny flower,

    Really sorry to hear you’re feeling down at the moment. Like becks27 said, it sounds like you have very low self-esteem. Everyone feels low from time-to-time, but people with low self-esteem tend to blame everything that’s going wrong on themselves. It seems to me that you have heaps going for you and you should believe in yourself a bit more.

    Whenever I’m feeling low, I find somewhere quiet and peaceful to go for 10 minutes and I write down all the things that are going well in my life. This could include anything from your characteristics, your looks, your family, your job, to the fact that you’re not paying for a lush house. When you’ve finished writing down all the good things, write down a short list of things that you want to accomplish in the next week, month and year and write a plan of how you’re going to achieve these goals. I guarantee you that this will make you feel better within yourself and also give you a bit more confidence.

    I hope this helps a little and please have a look at our factsheets on building self esteem and net doctors guide.
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