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Just tell him. Pick a quiet moment when you're alone (unless you go in for dramarama in the street, not a fan personally) and tell him that he doesn't say enough nice things about you and it kinda makes you feel like he doesn't care. He's not psychic, unless he's being a cock on purpose, in which case probably best avoided.
If he's showing you up in front of his mates, fight back! Say something like 'why would you say that, it's kinda harsh". Then he'll be the one shown up. Unless of course his mates are cocks too, in which case the previous advice applies again.
Tbh if after 7 months he can't deal with telling you how he feels then how long is he going to take? After 7 months me and Rich were so comfortable with each other that I was pooping while he was in the shower.
And if he's cooking you a meal etc then he blatantly cares =]
I get weeks like that. Went through one with my bf a couple of weeks ago. I really felt like we were going two completely different directions. Then something random happened that made me change my mind. I can't even remember what it was, it was so random and insignificant, but it was enough to make me sit up and see that really it was okay.
Hope things work out.
God, yeah. If Mr O called me Princess I think I'd puke on him.
You mean like one of those couples who are happy?
Everything you write is about what he thinks and about what he wants. What about what you think? What about what you want? Relationships are about two people, not one.
Well tell him where to go tbh. If he has said it to you before and now he's not then there's something not right.
Shit, if Rich only told me he thought I looked good when I went all out he'd be gone. Yeh, it's nice when I've done all my make-up and my hair and stuff and he tells me I look beautiful, but it should be about them making you feel good when you feel shit, not making you feel better when you know you look good.
Even if you were desperate to go and he was using the shower?
I only do it because I'd rather do it with him there so his housemates don't know it's me. I can't do it when he's looking at me. But it doesn't matter anyway, the point was that we're so comfortable with each other that we can do that. We can sit and have farting competitions if we so wish because we've seen and done all the disgusting stuff and it's just normal now. Like the period thing. I thought my period was over (fucking should have been after eight fucking weeks :mad: ), and we were having sex and because we haven't been able to for a long time, we got rather into it and when we were done he had blood all over himself, but he didn't care and he went to the bathroom and got me tissue and a tampon and stuff.
Yes, I think it is. It might be a shame that it's not what you're like but it's something I think you'll need to get used to.
Me and my bf never leave each other messages on Facebook and stuff. I just think it's really childish. When I tell my bf nice things it's for him to hear, not half the world.
Don't!
I think what the underlying problem here isn't about your relationship with your boyfriend. He seems to really care about you. What the issue seems to be is your insecurities about yourself. Rather than demanding compliments off him, explain how you feel about your body and yourself. Let him know that these things really do matter to you.
If you decide that you can't cope with not being complimented, then you need to make that clear to him. If he doesn't change then you should leave him, if at that point you decide not to...then you've just given him the ok to continue putting you down.
This isn't about you loving him, its about how much he loves you....enough to change how he treats you? or not?
i dont agree with the criticising you thing thought but we've talked about that before...
i'll add a different view to these love crazy couples in this thread and say that my boyfriend and i have been together just over a year and he doesnt give me compliments all the time! it can be rare, but the thing is when he does give them (and he does!) i sort of feel like they're more special because they're not all that often and i know hes really meaning them. not that the other people in this thread dont. the other day we were just lazing around in bed and he was like 'e...i love you you know' and we dont say it all the time and it just makes it more special! i feel like it can get over used. i dunno i might just be waffling on now haha.
franki tmi girly hehe :]
:yes: Yup, I agree!
I think the lack of compliments is bothering you because you dont actually feel that secure about his feelings for you. He doesnt let you know by his words or by his actions it seems.
Im sorry its making you feel worse, but I think whats being described are just normal relationships. Your boyfriend sounds a bit emotionally backward and quite aggressive really, telling you not to ask him about his feelings because it offends him - wtf? How is your relationship going to develop if you cant talk about your feelings together? Youll just end up a nervous wreck not knowing how the hell he feels.
I know what you mean
But try to remember that it isnt worth comparing your relationship with other people's. They wont all be the same. The things that make someone feel special wont be the same for you. You mentioned that he cooked you a meal and went out to buy you wine. Just reading that I am so jealous with how undeniably sweet that is of him! I can see why you're upset when he refuses to talk about these things but really the point I wanted to make is that your relationship will not be the same as another couple's. Your relationship has it's own quirks and differences. That's the beauty of it.
Tbh I think you need to put your foot down, cause it sounds to me like he's in the driving seat here, and what he says goes.
Also, fwiw, you could say 'I love you' every second of every day, and if you mean it every time, it never becomes meaningless.
No one's saying he is. If I thought that my advice would be to leave him immediately.
You asked for advice on this issue, and that's what you got. I'm not sure what kind of answers you were expecting?
You clearly are unhappy otherwise you wouldn't have asked the question in the first place. All we did was give you the answer to your questions, so we won't apologise for them not being what you wanted them to be. Just because the advice given wasn't what you wanted to hear is no reason to be ungrateful when we were just trying to help you.
It's obvious that he cares for you and likes your company, but I believe a loving and successful relationship needs to be built on more than spending your money and doing a few nice things. You need someone who you can be honest with and share your fears and dreams with, someone who will support you in the bad times and will be at your side in the good. Most of all they need to make you feel good about yourself and it sounds to me like this boyfriend doesn't do that. I doubt you would end this relationship because you love him, but just be careful that you don't come out at the end of it feeling even more shit and insecure about yourself than you might already do.