Ladies - your views please

Former Member

Hey all, first time poster on here.

I'm a bloke and I'm interesting in canvassing the views of the women on this site. If you received the following message would you find the following it flattering or off-putting?

Hi! Hopefully you won't mind if I pay you a small compliment. Just want to say I think you've got gorgeous eyes and a lovely smile.

Backstory is that I like a lass I'm on a course with, and want to show my interest. Unfortunately don't really have the opportunity for extensive 1-on-1 conversation due to the fact that we're both in a group.

Be interested to hear your views.

Former Member

Depends on the girl I guess. If you haven't had a single word with her, or if you appear a bit creepy (looking a lot at her etc.) it may come out creepy and if it's coming over good, you need to act on it, not just turn around weasel off...

Former Member

if it was me, i'd think it was creepy tbh.

it would be better to try and talk to her about something you have in common (your course??), like go up to her and ask if you can borrow a book or something. if the first thing you say to her is that you think she has nice eyes, she might think you're a bit weird

but it could work, that's just my opinion. i agree with the above, it really depends on the girl and what she's like.

Former Member

Oops, should have pointed out that I do know her! We chat every week when the course is on, just not that extensively that's all as I said above. It's not like she's some random girl who I happen to like the look of and haven't had any contact with.

Former Member

id be flattered

Former Member

Go for it. I'd go even bolder and write:

Hi! Just want to say I think you've got gorgeous eyes and a lovely smile. I'd love to go out for a drink and get to know you. If you're up for it, I'm free friday and sat evenings this week? *your name here* x

Former Member

katralla wrote: »

Go for it. I'd go even bolder and write:

Hi! Just want to say I think you've got gorgeous eyes and a lovely smile. I'd love to go out for a drink and get to know you. If you're up for it, I'm free friday and sat evenings this week? *your name here* x

Yes! This is excellent, go for it!

Former Member

If you just ask her in front of the group if she wants to go for a drink that night or whatever she'll go wow he's got balls and fall for you. Well, the second part isn't guarunteed, but typically girls (or boys) like it if you're willing to put yourself in a vulnerable position and get shot down in public because you like them. Shows courage, or something.

Kat's message is also good though

Former Member

or she could get embarassed if you ask her in from of people... not in a bad way but like shock??
when i was in year 10 a boy asked me out in the middle of a science test - when the teacher popped out ... all the class was lisening.. i felt like omg i like him too but im soo embarassed kinda thing ..

i think you should have a proper 1 on 1 with her first then see what shes like??
up to you though!!!

Former Member

sweet_gal wrote: »

or she could get embarassed if you ask her in from of people... not in a bad way but like shock??
when i was in year 10 a boy asked me out in the middle of a science test - when the teacher popped out ... all the class was lisening.. i felt like omg i like him too but im soo embarassed kinda thing ..

i think you should have a proper 1 on 1 with her first then see what shes like??
up to you though!!!

The same thing happened to me at school. And sometimes I'm talking about something important, or my friend is, and an interuption would be annoying.
If she's on your course you'll have something to talk about.

Former Member

Are you going to say this to her face?

Former Member

Thanks to everyone for the comments so far.

Are you going to say this to her face?

In an ideal world, yes, I would do so. As I mentioned however getting to chat 1-on-1 is not always possible due to the group situation, and so I thought maybe an email was another option.

On the negative side though, an email of course isn't as great is it when you want to say something personal, maybe placing pressure on the other person to respond when they don't know how?

Former Member

I wouldn't say that tbh. There's nothing wrong with a compliment, but I think it has to be at the right time, rather than out of the blue. So for example, she's upset and you make her smile, that's the time to say "there's that lovely smile." Or you pick her up for a date, or meet her on a night out where she's obviously made an effort, and you say "wow, you look great." I think saying it out of the blue, or making a point of it generally comes across as sleazy (but up to a point, if she fancies you anyway, you can probably get away with it).

Former Member

Thw thing is, if she fancies you then it doesn't matter what you say because she'll still fancy you. but presuming you want to be able to face her if she does reject you then you should keep it a bit more cool and casual and ask her if she fancies meeting up for a drink sometime.

Former Member

I would say you're fucked because I've done that before and fucked myself, but what the hell. Why not? Go for it.

Former Member

junker wrote: »

I would say you're fucked because I've done that before and fucked myself, but what the hell. Why not? Go for it.

Did it kill you? No. Basically whats the worst that can happen? She might turn you down but thats not the end of the world...you'll get loads of rejections throughout life (jobs, girlfriends, flats to rent, whatever) and the best way to deal with them is to pick yourself up and just move on to the next.

To be honest I wouldn't go down the compliment route I'd just ask her if she fancies meeting up for a drink sometime. If she says no then fair enough just say "Oh well. Let me know if you change our mind...I'm always up for a piss up" or something like that. Just keep it casual and then its not too bad if she does say no.

My advice would be to just go for it, you're only young once and its not the end of the world if it doesnt go to plan. Remember she might be thinking the same thing about you and she might be asking her friends how to go about asking you out. If all else fails then text/facebook her, not as personal but easier to save face.

Good luck.

Former Member

Thanks to everyone for their views!