If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options
Break up
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Id been living with my now ex partner for nearly 2 years.
We had been fighting for a couple of months and he decided that he had enough of my mood swings etc. So he walked out without telling me. I walked in to find the flat half empty and thought that we had been burgled. I phoned him and he answered and when i said "whats happening" he said "what do you think i've moved out, I cant cope with your mood swings and need some space.
I contacted his father and boss (once) to find out where he had moved to as he owed me money as he wasnt answering my calls. He contacted me and he gave me some money but hasnt paid the full debt off yet.
We met up a couple of weeks ago and talked he said he loved me and wanted to take things slow, but then no texts. Started to get annoyed with him as he hasnt given me anymore money, so texted him to say can i have some more money, no response.
Texted him this week to say can we talk, miss you and he replied been really busy cause of deadlines etc.
I've just got my working tax credit through and its not enough to boost my money up to cover living costs, and i've had to text him asking if we can meet up and talk.
I cant afford to pay his debt off.
Thing is in the back of my mind i do miss him and would like to retry the relationship and might be able to give it a go!
Update:
Rang him on another phone and answered. Asked him if we could talk (but hes at work so not at the moment). Asked him if he could pay some off his debt off he said should be able to ring you later
Reading other peoples stories on here as helped as i dont feel as though i am the only one going through this.
:crying:
We had been fighting for a couple of months and he decided that he had enough of my mood swings etc. So he walked out without telling me. I walked in to find the flat half empty and thought that we had been burgled. I phoned him and he answered and when i said "whats happening" he said "what do you think i've moved out, I cant cope with your mood swings and need some space.
I contacted his father and boss (once) to find out where he had moved to as he owed me money as he wasnt answering my calls. He contacted me and he gave me some money but hasnt paid the full debt off yet.
We met up a couple of weeks ago and talked he said he loved me and wanted to take things slow, but then no texts. Started to get annoyed with him as he hasnt given me anymore money, so texted him to say can i have some more money, no response.
Texted him this week to say can we talk, miss you and he replied been really busy cause of deadlines etc.
I've just got my working tax credit through and its not enough to boost my money up to cover living costs, and i've had to text him asking if we can meet up and talk.
I cant afford to pay his debt off.
Thing is in the back of my mind i do miss him and would like to retry the relationship and might be able to give it a go!
Update:
Rang him on another phone and answered. Asked him if we could talk (but hes at work so not at the moment). Asked him if he could pay some off his debt off he said should be able to ring you later
Reading other peoples stories on here as helped as i dont feel as though i am the only one going through this.
:crying:
0
Comments
if you want to get back with him then u need to have that talk without money getting involved in the conversation as that is a seperate issue. If you don't want to get back with him then obviously u need to talk about the money stuff.
It might sound stupid but his car tax renewal turned up and i texted him to tell him and he didnt reply.
It could be that hes so busy at work that he doesnt have anytime for anything, and needs space, but i cant walk round with my face tripping me up all the time!!!!:banghead:
Woke up this morning to find my car broke into. Texted the ex to tell him and within 5 - 10 mins he texted me back. Ive asked him to find out what make it is and he said he would when he gets home, ive told him im moving out the flat.
I texted him to say that i needed a cuddle. :mad:
It sounds like you've made a really brave move and it's completely natural for you to be experiencing these conflicting emotions at the moment. It's also natural to feel like the end of a relationship as you've known it is a failure, when actually often it's just a case that things change for people and just because a relationship has been really good doesn't mean you're obliged to stick with it if it's no longer a positive one - you haven't failed at all.
As for contacting your boy to say you needed a cuddle - please don't beat yourself up about this. It really can take a while to get used to not relying on someone you've been really close to for affection, but in time it's likely that your feelings about this will change - it will probably also help to have you Mum's support. This is a good time to turn to close friends too.
There really isn't a set time for you to deal with these things, and when you've been living with someone it can certainly feel like more of a big deal, so take things at your own pace and perhaps take a look at these articles for further support:
Accepting it's over
Mending a broken heart
Take good care of yourself x
I met up with my ex on friday night and we went for a drive. We talked, (said that he wanted me to start going over to his once a week) cuddled and kissed laughed. He wanted more but I didnt do anything but tease him until he was begging for sex. Then i still refused. He ended up relieving himself on the countryside hills. He asked if i would be his sex slave, but im not going down that road.
He mentioned something about how i got turned on, where i mentioned that by looking at him turned me on. Which shocked him as he hadnt realised. He went very quite.
Havent been in contact with him, been going out with my mates and having a laugh and trying to get things sorted out with the flat extra.
:banghead:
A bit of lump in my throat!!!
Gonna ignore him for a couple of hours and give him a reply
He was on the way back from dropping the girls off down south.
He was tired and sore so suggested a massage, but there was a traffic accident so we didnt meet up
:banghead:
Very true.
Its stupid to live in hope and denial.
You're making the right decision. It will be hard, but overall you'll feel better about yourself if you're strong and walk away - get on with your life and one day you'll find someone who appreciates you for everything you are, not just as a means to have sex. If I can do it (and God knows I found it tough at first, but it taught me so much and made me a stronger, more confident person) then you can too. Good luck.
We were texting again last night.
This is harder than i thought it would be!!!
We were texting again last night.
This is harder than i thought it would be!!!
Why cant i have my cake and eat it as well!
When you have it you dont want it when you dont have it you want it!!!
Its like going cold turkey or addiction.
What do they say mind over matter.
Really proud of myself as i couldnt find the garage where it had to go to be assessed for repairs. Normally i would text him and ask him but i didnt asked a couple of people and found it myself!!!
You need to think about what's for the best. You should go to him and speak to him on an honest basis. Respect how he feels and ask him to be honest to you. I think in general you two ashould have atleast a month of near zero contact to see how you feel afterwards, then you can reflect on it.
Why keep in contact when you've made it clear that you dont want a relationship with me.
I know a lot of you are going to think this is crazy and a lot of people may say you shouldnt have, but i texted him today saying not ignoring you been trying to get things sorted out. I dont know what u want from me. No contact or friends.
If he doesnt reply then no contact
If he replies and says no contact then fine
If he replies and says friends then fine
If he replies saying more then friends fine
This is gonna hurt but, at least i know were i stand and can get on and start to enjoy life.
I replied u
No answer
So i texted him saying if you dont want me in your life and everything you hold dear to your heart i will leave you in peace be happy xxx
I think ive had my closure
I replied well you've got what you want working all day and coming home. Me ive got the best of both worlds working, meeting friends going out etc.
So ive deleted his number and gonna try and get on with things.
Keeping myself busy going out with my friends, shopping, getting drunk going for meals etc.
Im waking up thinking about him, but as the showgirls would say "The show must go on"
LOL