Flirtophobia!

Former Member

I truely believe in the quote "not everybody is perfect." I've just turned 18 years old, a young male bachalor and begun clubbing ,got a click of friends to go out with often. I am told i am very good looking and have been urged to try modelling part-time. I was successful and career-wise my dreams of commercial piloting are seeming to become a reality...but why do I fail at doing what bachalors are suppose to do best...get the ladies?

Its not that I strut my stuff or brag about what i possess and where i'm going...i suppose its down to the fact I lack just a little bit confidence.
My confidence has improved a lot lately however, i mean i can pluck the courage to dance infront of people sobre, crack jokes infront of people i do not know, so why is it when talking to an attractive girl I run out of interesting things to talk about, or fail to woe them like some of my less attractive friends ((hehe been waiting to say that line for a while, sorry guys.)) Seriously, i find when i talk to girls i end up asking the same goddamn stuff, "What college u go to? what u study? hows you? what music you like? Whats you mob number?" ((Phone them up)) "Hows you?" seriously i'm boring them to death, and myself hehe.

I think i have flirtophobia, i shy away from delivering winks to girls unless i really build myself up to it, when drunk i flirt too much and make a cock of myself. I know all the tricks however but just cant build myself up too much to do them, nor do i have much interesting things to talk to girls about...i mean i practically live my life studying and gaming, and getting pictures taken of me which i look at as a job.

I meet tons of beautiful women but i just shy away and i have a problem making my intentions clear, constantly stuck in the friend zone.

Quite ironic i have this problem, I've been told too by someone that i have a great personality, for example i believe in only making relationships if you generally really feel something deep for another person and see the thing as a sacrifice as i believe cheaters are the scum of the earth. One night stands are great as long as you make it clear. So the girls rant that all the good guys are gone but they dont look hard enough, so how do i make my intentions clear? lol!
Anybody got a suggestion of how to overcome this confidence?

Former Member

If a guy winked in my direction, I'd run a mile. How cheesy.

TashJ

Hi crescentpirate,

Not an easy one to answer, as there's probably as many different ways to pull as there are girls in the world - that's to say that every one may prefer a different approach.

It sounds like you're on the right track by boosting your self confidence, and by asking girls questions about themselves. A lot of people are quite shy, and welcome the opportunity to take to someone who'll make the effort to ask questions.

Going to clubs can be a lot of fun, but for some people, they just don't work as places to pull - especially if you're trying to know someone. After all, the music and the alcohol can get in the way of talking You might find this article called 'Pick Up Girls in Noisy Clubs' useful. If you find that clubbing isn't working out for your pulling-wise, you might want to consider if there is there another way you could get to know girls, perhaps where you're studying? Or through an interest you have?

Good luck wih it all,
Tash

Former Member

Ilora-Danon wrote: »

If a guy winked in my direction, I'd run a mile. How cheesy.

Cheese is good. I'm particularly partial to wenslydale and cranberries.

I think the only way is to go out there and be yourself, you'll attract those who are worth attracting . I've so far never attracted anyone even though I love talking, I've asked girls to dance and they've always said no - c'est la vie! Still have a good time though - that's what it's about at the end of the night isn't it?