Strange things parents say

Former Member

What strange things do your parent say?
Mine especially my dad used to say "don't come running to me if you break your leg." there's numerous other things but I can't remember them.

Former Member

Not just what we say, but also what we do.

Spend a couple of years teaching our kids to walk and talk. Then tell them to "sit down and shut up".

Former Member

'eat some fruit' is recently what she has been saying a lot

and when i have a problem e.g. i feel ill/little bit down she says 'have a banana' spaced stylee!!

Former Member

Whenever I tell my dad that I'm hot he tells me to drink tea to cool me down but I've found that never works

Former Member

my mum has recently got into little britain - now everytime me or my sisters ask her to do something that she doesnt want to (or other similar situations) she'll put on a weird voice and say "computer sez nooo"

my step dad also has a tendency to say "what?" a lot. even if he's in the middle of a sentence, or even if he's not asking a question.

"stephen went to buy a boat today, what? and he said that its a big blue boat with pink letters, what? i think i may go and see it when i get the chance, what?"

grrr can get v frustrating



ooh yeah, and whenever we go over a cow grid my mum will screech 'hold onto your hats!!' .. even if we're not wearing one. tis a lucky thing there are fuck all cow grids near where i live.

other than that... my my mind has pulled a complete blank

Former Member

soraliah wrote: »

my mum has recently got into little britain - now everytime me or my sisters ask her to do something that she doesnt want to (or other similar situations) she'll put on a weird voice and say "computer sez nooo"

My bro does that too argh! also sometimes when I ask him a question he does that riddle bloke "if you'd asked me on a tuesday etc.."

Former Member

Put a coat on ye'll be foundered out there!

Former Member

lea_uk wrote: »

My bro does that too argh! Sometimes when I ask him a question he does that piccolo bloke "if you'd asked me on a tuesday etc.."

Former Member

Reminds me of an email I got around Mother's Day time...

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, ! that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Former Member

Crystal Tipps wrote: »

Reminds me of an email I got around Mother's Day time...

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, ! that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

That's great.

Former Member

Whenever my mum spots someone she hasn't seen in a long time she says "well look who it isn't!" And whenever she's chatting to someone in another room and I add to the conversation, she'll say "voice from the gallery".

Former Member

@ Crystal.

I can even hear myself saying some of those...

Former Member

Me lately ...No ...it's made of plastic!

Former Member

Man Of Kent wrote: »

@ Crystal.

I can even hear myself saying some of those...

Yeah i swear my dads used a few of them

Former Member

Any time I tell my old man about something I'm finding difficukt he says "That should be easy for someone like you." and then smiles. Makes me want to knee cap him then fire bullets at his feet to make him dance whilst cackling "easy huh? easy?"

Former Member

Me and my mate did this last year before we all got made redundant, haha!

Keep a wee eye out for you.

Haven't got a leg to stand on.

I'm all fingers and thumbs.

It is when you think about it.

It is what it is.

Believe you me.

I can't stick you.

Take her down a peg or two.

Can I grab a quick word.

That will be right up your street.

I was scared within an inch of my life.

Suits you to a T.

You're doing my nut in.

Dressed to the nines.

Dressed to kill.

She drives me round the bend.

Doesn't cut the mustard.

I'm Sorry, but I refuse to apologise.

She drives me to distraction.

A bit of this and you'll be Right as rain.

Back in a jiffy.

It's a piece of piss.

I'll be quick I'm just gonna nip in and nip out.

It's awful close in here tonight.

I am sick to the back teeth of him.

Easy as pie!

You're a sandwich short of a picnic.

Two shakes of a lamb's tail.

It'll all come out in the wash.

Not if I see you first.

A little birdie told me.

Let the cat out the bag.

Can't see the wood for the trees.

It's raining cats and dogs.

You're no spring chicken yourself!

I'm in a bit of a pickle!

Well slap my thigh and tickle me with a chicken!

Former Member

When my dad used to have a nap on the chair he said 'Im resting my eyes'

Former Member

Yeah I no wrote: »

When my dad used to have a nap on the chair he said 'Im resting my eyes'

I say that too

My mum says random things like

Every mickle makes a mockle :eek2:

You're like a lamb chop with no suck on you

There'll be trouble at t'mill

You're a long time dead (Ever so cheerful my mother :rolleyes: )

Former Member

"If i catch you wanking again i'll chop your bleeding hands off" .. true that...

Former Member

Oh god they've got loads of stupid sayings.

My mum used to say these quite a lot when we were younger ...

'Don't do that, you'll poke you're eye out!'
(whenever we were play fighting, food fighting, throwing barbies at eachother ..)

'It's because you're tired'
(is her answer to everything)

'Do you need to go for a weewee?'
(before going on a long car journey .. she's said this phrase several times infront of different boyfriends and mates)

'Don't answer me back!'
(which I still don't understand because if you don't answer at all she'll say something like, 'Oh so you're NOT sorry then?')

'It's the middle of the night go back to bed!'
(this one reeally used to annoy me because it never was it usually was about six am on a saturday and I was getting up to watch kids TV)

Now she says stuff like ..

'You treat me like a taxi'
'When are you going to pay me back?'
and
'Where have you been all weekend?'

Former Member

My mum used to say "well I go to foot of our stairs"

Former Member

That one has never made any sense hehe.
Another one is "I turned around and said...."

Indrid Cold

For some reason, sometimes I sneeze. I don't know why, but it happens all year, even in the heart of summer when I'm sweating like a horse. And otherwise I'm fine.
Whenever I sneeze, it has to be because I've caught a cold. :rolleyes:

Sometimes I want to focus on something (movie, game, something I'm reading, whatever). If she comes in the room while I'm doing that I say "Be quiet please, I need to focus."
Years ago, whenever that happened she used to say "Don't worry, I'll not say a thing. I'll be totally silent." And of course, by the time she was finished saying that it was too late for me to not be distracted. :rolleyes:
Nowadays she doesn't do that anymore. She just goes around the room closing the curtains ("Gzzzzzzrrrrr") or murmuring things to herself. Which still isn't being quiet. I just need a couple of seconds.

Ok, so these are more things she does rather than says...

Former Member

We'll See

The perfect parents answer to a question

Former Member

Virus wrote: »

We'll See

The perfect parents answer to a question

or mabye.

FUCKING MABYE??

Yes or No is an answer. Not We'll see or Mabye.

Former Member

"I wont tell you again" - good finally got the msg shut the fuck up

"I'll remember this" what for? and we both know you wont

Former Member

*Ashlee* wrote: »

or mabye.

FUCKING MABYE??

Yes or No is an answer. Not We'll see or Mabye.

When my dad said maybe he meant "no" hehe.

Former Member

Oh look, Uncle Donny is on TV (friend's fault...)

Former Member

My dad has a habit at stating the obvious. I was cutting raw chicken and he said "watch what you're doing that's raw" I was "well that's why i'm cutting it to FRY it!"

Former Member

A week after the day to change the time on your clocks (daylight saving times), my mum always does the "Do X and Y because on the old clock it would be already so and so late!!!"

duuh, words fail me today..

Former Member

JustThinking..X wrote: »

Oh god they've got loads of stupid sayings.

My mum used to say these quite a lot when we were younger ...

'Don't do that, you'll poke you're eye out!'
(whenever we were play fighting, food fighting, throwing barbies at eachother ..)

'It's because you're tired'
(is her answer to everything)

'Do you need to go for a weewee?'
(before going on a long car journey .. she's said this phrase several times infront of different boyfriends and mates)

'Don't answer me back!'
(which I still don't understand because if you don't answer at all she'll say something like, 'Oh so you're NOT sorry then?')

'It's the middle of the night go back to bed!'
(this one reeally used to annoy me because it never was it usually was about six am on a saturday and I was getting up to watch kids TV)

Now she says stuff like ..

'You treat me like a taxi'
'When are you going to pay me back?'
and
'Where have you been all weekend?'

Hahahaha

http://vbulletin.thesite.org.uk/showpost.php?p=2026032&postcount=18

:razz: