Stupid stupid stupid :(

Former Member

OK so my gf and I got a room at a hotel for Valentine's Day as you do, and we had sex. I was really stupid though and didn't wear a condom. I didn't come inside her or anything, I put a condom on later and continued and eventually finished in the condom. I went into the bathroom and got rid of it, and also got a wet cloth and wiped my penis with it to try and clean it all off. After that I went back and we had some more sex, without condom again I still didn't cum inside though. Did it once more after that with a condom on.

I'm really shitting myself - what are the chances she might be pregnant? I'm really really worried She is getting a test, but the wait is painful :crying:

Former Member

Um....

If you had condoms, why weren't you using them straight away?

Former Member

Franki wrote: »

Um....

If you had condoms, why weren't you using them straight away?

See user name.

Former Member

Stupid is a fairly good name for you at this point, BUT you are asking for advice, and you deserve reasonable advice.

As I think you know, your methods of contraception were fairly rubbish, and there's a reasonable chance that your girlfriend could have got pregnant, depending on many things, including where she is in her cycle.

Valentines day was Thursday right? So assume you are talking about Thursday night. The Morning After Pill (MAP) can be used up to 72 hours after unprotected sex (which is what you had) but that window has now passed. The coil can sometimes be used as emergency contraception for up to 5 days after unproected sex (so you're still in that window).

I suggest your girlfriend/both of you, get in touch with an expert, maybe ring the FPA helpline and see a doctor/nurse first thing tomorrow morning.

Former Member

The fact that you didnt come inside her means that there is less chance of pregnancy than if you did obviously, but its a really really crap method of contraception.

Do you know when her period is due?

Former Member

End of the month I think.

Former Member

There's every chance she could be pregnant. If she's now having a test done, all you can do is wait for the results.

Former Member

Still on the balance of probablities fairly unlikely. Not that it makes a difference cos you won't know until you know - but it's still unlikely. The only way of making sure a pregnancy does not occur is abstinence.

wikipedia wrote:

Like many methods of birth control, reliable effectiveness is achieved only by correct and consistent use. Observed failure rates of withdrawal vary depending on the population being studied: studies have found actual failure rates of 15-28% per year.[2] In comparison the pill has an actual use failure rate of 2-8%,[3] while the diaphragm has an actual use failure rate of 10-39%.[4][2] The condom has an actual use failure rate of 10-18%.[2]

For couples that use withdrawal correctly at every act of intercourse, the failure rate is 4% per year. In comparison the pill has a perfect-use failure rate of 0.3%, while the diaphragm has a perfect use failure rate of 6%. The condom has a perfect-use failure rate of 2%.

The primary cause of failure of the withdrawal method is the lack of self-control of those using it. Poor timing of the withdrawal can result in semen on the vulva, which can easily migrate into the female reproductive tract. Some medical professionals view withdrawal as an ineffective method of birth control.[6] In contrast, a recent study in Iran found that provinces with higher rates of withdrawal use do not have higher fertility rates, and that the contribution of withdrawal use to unintended pregnancies is not markedly different from that of other commonly used methods such as the pill or condom.[7]

It has been suggested that the pre-ejaculate ("Cowper's fluid"), fluid emitted by the penis prior to ejaculation, contains spermatozoa (sperm cells), which can easily pass into the upper female genital tract in the presence of cervical mucus.[8] However, several small studies[9][10] have failed to find any viable sperm in the fluid. While no large conclusive studies have been done, it is now believed the primary cause of method (correct-use) failure is the pre-ejaculate fluid picking up sperm from a previous ejaculation.[11] For this reason, it is recommended that users of withdrawal have the male partner urinate between ejaculations, to clear the urethra of sperm, and wash any ejaculate from objects that might come near the woman's vulva (e.g. hands and his penis).[12][5]

So if you use it as your main method of contraception in a year, then in that year there is a 15-28% chance of conception.

Here's another link for you:
http://www.contraceptivetechnology.com/table.html

Former Member

stupidguy wrote: »

End of the month I think.

so valentines day is actually slap bang in the middle of her fertile time. :chin:

I think youre going to have to wait and cross fingers and if she doesnt come on then take a pregnancy test then.

Former Member

A test wont work properly until shes actually due on her period, so yo will have to wait a while. I understand your worry, but to be honest its very unlikely that shes pregnant, if she is you're a very unlucky guy!

Former Member

Same thing happened to us and resulted in a pregnancy.

Former Member

ShyBoy wrote: »

So if you use it as your main method of contraception in a year, then in that year there is a 15-28% chance of conception.

Thats really quite high isnt it.

Former Member

lol, well you deserve a pregnancy dude...

get her tested and pray for the best and next time use them straight away...

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

lol, well you deserve a pregnancy dude...

No need. Harsh mate.

Former Member

StrubbleS wrote: »

lol, well you deserve a pregnancy dude...

get her tested and pray for the best and next time use them straight away...

That is so unnecessary - No One DESERVES a pregnancy, it's not some punishment for doing something wrong.

Get a fucking grip and get over yourself.

JsT

StrubbleS wrote: »

lol, well you deserve a pregnancy dude...

Completely out of order. This is an advice thread not a fucking preaching thread.

Former Member

I just want to post to agree with everyone else. One of the reasons this website is here is for a very important reason - to allow people to ask for advice on the situations they are in and recieve help or advice from other people of their own age, or who have been through similar situations.

There are some sections of this board that allow people to be more 'agressive' in their viewpoints - such as politics and debate - but if someone is posting for advice in a section of this board for support (such as sex or health) then they should be able to expect responses to be at the very least supportive.

That doesn't mean that views can't be challenged - but the idea of saying that someone 'deserves' to get pregnant is really not what this section is for - please bear in mind where on TheSite you are posting, and the offense comments can cause before deciding to post judgemental posts.

Let's move on though - as someone deserves more support than posting in reaction to an unpleasant and ill-judged post will give.

Former Member

yea, went over the top with that one, soz...

the post just read itself like "jumped out of the window, it hurt! jumped again, hurt again!"

apologies...

Former Member

I loath to use the pringle example of once you pop.......

But its like cracking one off over someone when you have had pent up sexul urges, and then when you finally come, you stop texting or talking to them on msn, and wonder why you got all excited in the first place.

In laymans terms "when needs must" :P

Former Member

Strubbles: Your generally a cunt when it comes to matters like this. Haven't you realised nobody wants to hear the crap you spout in these sort of threads.

Anyways OP hmm all you can do is wait, hope and pray.

My boyfriend and I have been in similar situations to this, yes it's stupid but at the time weve been so caught up in it or drunk

All I can say is I hope everything works out

JsT

MrG wrote: »

I loath to use the pringle example of once you pop.......

But its like cracking one off over someone when you have had pent up sexul urges, and then when you finally come, you stop texting or talking to them on msn, and wonder why you got all excited in the first place.

In laymans terms "when needs must" :P

What are you on about?

Former Member

He had her once, then he had her again, few times in between without a condom, lust and urges took over

it happens

thats what i was on about

Former Member

Everyone makes mistakes. It happens. I'm an intelligent guy and did the same thing, although I think part of me wanted a baby then.

Shit happens dunt it.

Former Member

erm good user name under the circumstances. I'm sure your aware of the one and only thing you can't unscrew ? its done now so starting counting your finances and making room in them for baby necesities (unless you were lucky "this time"):shocking: