Im not gay or bi.......but!

Former Member

Hi im new here and wondered if any of u could give me sum advice!
I know im not gay or bi and ive had loads of boyfriends! But the thing is ive started 2 have feelings for my best mate of the same sex and i know im in love with her?
I really dont want 2 feel like this coz its gunner ruin our friendship, ive already started bein off with her and tryin 2 aviod her, but we r so close its 2 hard!
i dont want 2 lose her friendship but its the only way i can see of gettin out of this situation?
If any of u hav got some better advice please let me no?
thanks <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

Confront her. Tell her your feelings for her and you wish for it not to affect your friendship. You never know, she may feel the same and you two could get jiggy together! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

maybe your just feeling very close to her and it could be love in a firendship kind of way. try thinking about kissing her/ getting it on with her and if that doesn turn you on then your probably not bi but just in love with her as a friend.

Former Member

Yeah i do think of her in a sexual way! but i do know im not bi or lesbian coz girls dont actually turn me on apart from her?
Thats wats confussing me, shes my best mate why am i having these feelings its gunner mess up everything! and i dont think i could tell her if i wanted 2 <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

Not being a girl I can't say if it’s normal or not. But what I’ve read it sounds like a lot of girls go through this so I wouldn't worry about it.

Telling her may not be the best idea just yet, play the waiting game and see how you feel once you had time to clear your head.

Don't feel pushed or forced into anything just yet, it would be silly to tell people your gay or bi and then later your feelings change and you go back to liking man, Also how old are you?

You never know, she may feel the same and you two could get jiggy together!

Nice idea for you Bangkok Chick Boy but I’m not sure it helping miss naughty1 <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

im 18 and i do like blokes!!!!!!!! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

You should tell her the truth about how you are feeling. If she is offended, emphasize that you very much want to keep her friendship, and you don't think you would be a very good friend if you weren't honest with her. Tell her it won't threaten the friendship.

If you still lose her friendship after all that, then maybe she wasn't as good a friend as you had thought. <IMG SRC="cool.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

Originally posted by miss naughty1:
<STRONG>Yeah i do think of her in a sexual way! but i do know im not bi or lesbian coz girls dont actually turn me on apart from her?</STRONG>

Well, if you find her attractive and fancy her then you are bi sexual, whether you like it or not. There is no need to be ashamed. I thin once you have admitted that to yourself things will be easier.

If you're straight you fancy ONLY men, but you fancy your mate, so you're not straight. Get over it.

Think about this, you only fancy one girl, so you can't be bi? Well I only fancy one bloke, so maybe I'm not straight?

I know things could become awkward between you too, and I think that you would mess up your friendship if you did anything. Try to concentrate on other stuff. Perhaps it is only a phase and you don't actually fancy her, perhaps you are just confuseing feelings of respect and adoration for ones of fancying her?

Former Member

it can be quite confusing to be bi because of the conflicting feelings and i used to be attracted to one of my friends but i hadnt thought about anyone else. just try to think it through and accept yourself and it will get clearer with time. also it could just be that you friend is you 'type' and other girls arnt coz you dont think all guys are attractive yet you still have boyfriends.

Former Member

to me it sounds like you are Bi, dont worry it' not a bad thing just a thing, it wont change who you are, youwill still be the person you were before you just have to assimilate this information into what it means to be you,

talk to your friend and see what happens

Former Member

go to ann summers, pick up a 12 inch dildo and knob her silly then you will know if your bi or not.have fun and send a copy of the video to me to pass on to mark n his crew thank you!!!!!

Former Member

*looks once, then twice....Can it be true another Site user from Crappy Croydon*

Where abouts in Croydon you Necros, Sorry PM me if you don't want to say.

im 18 and i do like blokes!!!!!!!!

Well you not gay or Bi then and this is just little phase!!!

It should go soon and your be back to thinking, and doing God knows what with boys

<IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

i know exatly wot ur going through!
(sorry to talk in txt)
i went through this myself.i love my mate soooooo much and she knows it. she loves me to but in a differnt way. bac to the point.
the thing is its would be best to tell her. if ur to scared try giveing her a hyperthetical(sp)question. ask her wot she would do if a close female mate liked her like that.
if she totally frecks out dnt tell her wot you think about her. if she doesnt exept who you are im sorry to say shes not a very good freind. but if she is she will love you no matter weather you fancy her or not. you never know she might be going through the same as you and want you just as much as you want her. <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

i hope ive helped you.
good luck.

Former Member

I second the motion send a copy of the vid this way aswell,

Former Member

i agree, i think that you should wait a while, and see if you can imagine yourself going out with this mate. i have heard that it is normal fancying your mates though. maybe it will pass? if you tell her she might fell a bit uncomfortable about it.
good luck
xMEx
<IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

Thanks everyone 4 ya advice!
well i told her yesterday and she admitted she had these feelings in the past and she thinks its just because we r just so close!!!!!!
shes fine wiv it and it looks lik our friendship will b fine!! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

p.s if i ever make a video i'll send u ya copys????????????????? <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

glad to see things worked out

Former Member

Well, taking an opposite view i'd remind you that you are only 18 and at a stage in life when it is normal and right to be curious about so many things. This is part of how we all form our own independent identity and solidify our character.

Just because you and a mate might experiment together in no way locks you into some box that says you can only be this or that. Same for your friend.

So you might want to just go and do the girly stuff you do as best mates and at a moment when you might be just feeling really comfy together maybe lying head to head talking about stuff just ask if she has ever thought about experimenting with a female. a nice general question that doesnt throw your desire in her face.

No doubt she will ask you then or at some point if you have and you can do the old "well, hmmm... yeah actually i have." now if you get her to open up and share her fantasy and it seems to match yours then do that conspiratorial whisper that girls do and just ask if she wants to experiment with you as your private thang.

I think youd find she has as many curiosities as you do.

Good luck and dont make videos to satisfy the hounds we got here. WOOF Down doggies!

Former Member

DOH! silly me giving all that advice without seeing your post just above. MY BAD! lol.

Im glad she is cool with it and sorry that you didnt get a chance to experiment together.

Good luck though!