do you ever get over your first love?

Former Member

i have known this guy since i was 14, i really wanted to be with him from then and for the two years after that, then we left school and i didn't see him again until i was 18 and we started hanging out and used to do stuff when we were drunk, i knew he liked me but he had been really hurt by a girl he had been going out with and it made him wary of getting involved with me when he was sober.

i met someone new and started a relationship which i was in for a couple of years (he never got on with my bf) then when it finished he was round like a shot and we talked alot about getting intimate and we both wanted it but it never happened and eventually i moved away for a new start. we stayed in touch over texts and we both moved on with new partners - although i never really stopped thinking about him in a romantic way and often dreamed about the two of us together, which would then mess up my whole day coz i wouldnt be able to stop thinking about him.

he recently got in touch to say he is getting married and having a baby and i just can't stop thinking about him or dreaming about him and my BF has noticed that things aren't right between us.

any advice or thoughts would really be appreciated- im a mess.

Former Member

Thinking about them sometimes, and wondering what it would have been like with them, isn't that abnormal, especially if it was unrequited love or love that never led to a relationship.

But if you're thinking about them and wishing you'd gone with them then it could be a sign of problems in your current relationship.

generally you get over them when you fall in love with someone else.

Former Member

as Kermit says, its probably more to do with problems in your own relationship, and also feeling a bit weird because he was too scared to settle down with you but is settling down with someone else now.
You have to try and get past it because hes moved on, hes happy and he never really wanted that with you. You WILL get over it.

Former Member

you will get over it! honest, but I agree w Suziecreamcheese, think theyre is prob issues in your current relationship, maybe even that you arent conscious of.

Former Member

You get over it but you never forget them- me and my first love split up because he was in the army and about to head off to Iraq and things never properly got going between us. I was crazy about him though, and I still think of him sometimes. I'd love to meet up for a chat with him, find out what's happened in all those years!

Former Member

I think you get over it but there will always be that 'thing' there.

Getting over someone takes tiiiiiimmeeee its such a long and boring process.

Former Member

I still think about him in the "what if he hadn't been such a cunt?" kind of way, but I don't think I'd still be with him. I'm glad things worked out the way they did. It took me ages to get over him though, and it was only when I got with my boyfriend now that I stopped thinking about him a lot and letting him affect my life.

I haven't spoken to him in three and a half years anyway, since I finally realised that he really IS a complete and utter cock.

Former Member

I rarely think of my first love, although I went through a phase of thinking about it when my marriage broke up, more in a kind of OMG its happened again, noones ever loved me properly - Nothing wistful but more feeling sorry for myself kind of way

Former Member

a bit of nostalgia is good but i think you should take it as that..personally when i look back on my first love i realise that it wasnt love at all

Former Member

I think you do get over them like you always do with exes, but you look back on them in a more special way I reckon.

Former Member

Is anyone still with their first love? As in it's been a long term thing or even marriage?