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Anyone worried that 'the clock is ticking'?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Life is short so I think it's important to make the very most of it. Especially in your youth, age 17-30 period in particular is when people are at their prime, their most energetic and active. Therefore does anyone ever get worried that they're wasting time, the clock is ticking and they're not experiencing as much of life as they could? eg I do OK with women but often have spells of several months without sex, during these periods I'm feeling I'm missing out, when I go out and go home alone another missed opportunity. People start losing their libido in their 40s normally; I'm already worried that at this age I've not experienced as much as I should have (read: not had enough sex). Similarly do people get worried when stuck in a dead-end or long-hours job, or a monotonous lifestyle, or not travelling enough, that they're not making the most of life? Or are you content with the same old thing and my concept of making the most of stuff not bother ya?
ps. Before anyone lectures me that there's more to life than sex, I really don't know of anything more pleasurable and satisfying. No money, friends, family, etc can beat it a mon avis!
ps. Before anyone lectures me that there's more to life than sex, I really don't know of anything more pleasurable and satisfying. No money, friends, family, etc can beat it a mon avis!
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Spending time with my friends and the people I care for, having a laugh, doing the things I've always wanted to do is what life is about and when I can't for whatever reason, be it money, distance etc then yeah I start to feel I'm missing out on life in some way.
It's an interesting question, and I imagine that a lot of people experience the same dilemma. I can't imagine that anybody wants to think of themself as stagnating and missing the boat in life.
As for me I did a heck of a lot of stuff in my childhood, teens and early twenties so I don't feel I've missed out on anything much. Apart from being rich that is! :banghead:
But I'm happy with what I've done in my life, and I wouldn't wish for a single day back. I'm now just recently 30, so by your reckoning I'm just leaving my prime!
For me my late twenties were the most constructive period of my life and now pushing into my thirties things are as good as they have ever been.
No. If there's something that I want to do, I'll try to do it. If I can't, I'll accept that I can't do it for now and find ways I can in future. But I don't see the point of worrying over things that aren't in my control. I'm now a lot happier for it.
Don't take this the wrong way but your life and satisfaction seems quite driven by your penis.
There's so much more to life..don't get me wrong, sex is nice and can be really amazing, but there is so much more out there. Other ways of getting a buzz.
I dunno, maybe it's an age thing. I used to enjoy going and and meeting randoms (not sleeping with them though) but it doesn't even enter my head now.
:yes:
To answer the question - it's not something that bothers me right now.
:yes:
If I had my 'amateur psychologist' hat on I'd say that you have some issues regarding acceptance and you need the affirmation that these encounters give you. But it doesn't exactly seem that you are suffering too much in the process so what ain't broke don't need fixing as they say!
I say each to his own. Assuming you are not hurting these girls in the process, and they are also up for what you are offering, then it really is your business IMHO.
Loathe as I am to agree with you, I do in this instance. Yes sex can be amazing, gratifying, an incredible release and the perfect way to spend a night but what I miss most about being in a relationship is the constant companionship, the support, just being with someone. Maybe I'm a big softie but I miss that more than the physical side of it.
You do have a point though.
And no course I'm not hurting any girls..surely if they're coming home with me having just met they know what they're letting themselves in for. I suppose it could go wrong if they then assume I'm after a serious long-term relationship just 'cos we've slept together but that ain't happened (yet)!
Which do you prefer though? A relationship where you can have sex along with the feelings of being wanted, those little hugs that cheer you up, cuddling in bed etc, or the "thrill" of a one night stand which end of the day is just 2 people using each other to get their end off, often when drunk and wake up wondering why the hell did I do that last night?
There's nothing wrong with that. My parents got married when they were young (mum was 23 and dad was 26) and they're still happily married 20 years later.
I'm not into 24/7 relationships either. They don't have to be like that. I have my own flat and need my own space. I see my bf once or twice a week, that's fine by me. Not all women want to be with their boyfriend every day and night.
I don't see that there's anything wrong with settling down early 20's if you find the right person, but not everyone does. I wasn't ready in my early 20's to settle down and whilst I've always been one for being in relationships, I've had a lot of short relationships where I've got bored very quickly. I've also been through phases where I've had one nighters and whilst they make me feel great at the time, a few days later I always feel like I've lost my self respect and I get insecure.
From a personal "I'm in a lovey dovey happy place" perspective...there's nothing better than being in a relationship with someone who understands your every need, that you don't have to explain how you're feeling to because they just know, someone who can make you feel special, wanted, needed, that person who just to hear their voice brightens up your day and you know whatever is happening when you're with them everything will be ok. But it's taken me 4 - 5 years of knowing him, having dated him for 2 of those previously to be able to feel ready and in a place to accept the feelings I have for him because I wasn't ready to settle down and be commited to anyone.
And to be honest, I wouldn't want a girlfriend that wanted that. I need my space and I wouldn't want to have a girlfriend who didn't want time to themselves either. Not being comfortable in your own company is not an attractive feature.
Nah - this isn's something that makes me feel on top of the world. Hell, I can hardly remember most of them, to be honest!!
If I sleep with somebody I'm not in a relationship with, it's just something that happens. I certainly don't make or feel like it's a big deal, or whoop and cheer that I've 'scored another notch' :no:
I just find sex fun, it's no big deal and if it happens, it happens
In the long term, I'm thinking I would possibly like a relationship - but I rarely find somebody that I can see that happening with. Now I am permanently back in London (well, fingers crossed), we'll see what happens. I'm either going to end up sleeping with a load more randoms... or maybe find somebody to spend some time with. We'll see.
Oh - and for the record, I'm 28, so a little older than many users of this place.
I'm know very emotionally immature and I think I'm a better person to be around when I'm single and there's nobody special on the scene. That's it really, I'm 23 but I'm really still quite naive about how healthy relationships work and how to be assertive within a relationship.
I could probably do with a bit more life experience though, but sleeping around isn't really the way to go and get it.
I think you're probably going to receive a flaming for the last comment in that paragraph mate... You REALLY need to think more about what you're typing. So, a girl who has a one night stand is a dirty ho, huh? :yeees: I'm not going to enter into some argument with you - but you do yourself absolutely no favours on here with your ill thought out, even flippant derogatory comments against women. :rolleyes:
Being the person who HAS slept with 60 women, I don't even feel that number is high. I certainly don't feel a waste, nor that it is all I am capable of, mainly because I haven't been sleeping with people as a way to "prove myself", or improve my self esteem. If somebody *is* doing that, then they really need to address their situation. I've been single for coming up 7 years now (apart from a few 2-3 month flings here and there), and so if I've met somebody and it's been on the cards, then the person I have been with and I have both made the decision to have sex.
Sure, relationships can be great, but that's not what I have been wanting for the past few years.
Same.
You liar!
I'm not really fussed if i go without sex, or a relationship or whatever. Way i see it is i'm gonna be this attractive for many years to come so whats the hurry :chin:
And yes I'm totally aware of 'grass is always greener' syndrome, if I had slept with 60 girls there'd probably be something else I'm not content about..in fact a couple of the biggest 'studs' I know of are manic depressives.
You're trying to hard, just go out without the expectation of pulling. You'll have more of a chance of actually pulling then because you'll come across as a cool, calm and relaxed guy instead of some desperate hobo checking out the "talent."