Uh-Oh :(

Former Member

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Former Member

oh dear :S Your parents will be fuming and also upset so I think you have 2 choices. Either go home and face the music, be deeply apologetic, cry loads and say you didn't know why you said those things, you were so drunk and you feel ashamed. Denty everything about the coke dealers and say yoou must have said it to get a reaction/because you were drunk. Or you just let the dust settle and stay at your mates tongiht. They might be worried about where you've gone though so maybe send your sister a text and tell her that you're safe and will be home tomorrow to talk to your parents. It depends on what your parents are like really on what you should do. If it was me I'd do the former, tell them I love them, I'm sorry and cry lots lol. Good luck!

Former Member

Aye, go home and face the music. You're parents will be mad but they'll be more relieved than anything that you're okay.

Indrid Cold

Yerascrote wrote: »

Aye, go home and face the music. You're parents will be mad but they'll be more relieved than anything that you're okay.

Somehow I don't think people who do things like they did are such loving and forgiving parents.

Former Member

Thanks Lipsy and Yearoscrote

Im back at home now .. dads being normal havent seen mum yet. Apparently he went around town driving trying to find me last night but I did text him to let him know I was safe.

I will have to wait to see Mum later and just say sorry I guess

Former Member

Ouch, doesnt sound great :S Yeah i'd just go home, you'll no doubt get a bollocking but you'll get that either way. Best to do it now instead of waiting longer and giving your parents another reason to have a go at you. Just go home, say all the stuff you need to say then go to bed or something. Good luck

Indrid Cold

They'll have to say sorry too. What they did is extremely worse than whatever she did.

Former Member

If I found out that my child has befriended coke dealers and had a free ride home with the police due to overdrinking, I wouldn't be too chuffed would I? Think of it from the parents' prospective.

Indrid Cold

Monserrat wrote: »

If I found out that my child has befriended coke dealers and had a free ride home with the police due to overdrinking, I wouldn't be too chuffed would I? Think of it from the parents' prospective.

Of course not, neither would I. But that doesn't give you the right to hit them, especially when they're not in a state to defend themselves. What happened there is no less than assault and say sorry is they very least they can do.

Former Member

'If I found out that my child has befriended coke dealers and had a free ride home with the police due to overdrinking, I wouldn't be too chuffed would I? Think of it from the parents' prospective.' -


I guess so but I dont think what mum did was very nice she could have stuck up for me ! I think thats what upset me

Former Member

Indrid Cold wrote: »

Of course not, neither would I. But that doesn't give you the right to hit them, especially when they're not in a state to defend themselves. What happened there is no less than assault and say sorry is they very least they can do.

i agree with this..pinning you up against the wall by your neck? if he was a relation of mine then he'd better fucking apoligise.

Former Member

I'm not going to condone their actions but I would start with the apologies if I was you - then expect theirs.

You have absolutely no idea the panic that they would have been in and so I can understand their reaction - wrong though it was.

It's easy, when you don't have children, to see their actions in a "black/white" perspective.

Former Member

Oh to be 17 again.

Former Member

It's easy, when you don't have children, to see their actions in a "black/white" perspective.

I dont think it's black or white. There's no excuse to be pinned up against the wall and slapped around by your own parents. I understand they must have been worried/ angry but that just isn't right however you look at it.

Former Member

My point.

You see it purely as violent attack. I see it as two people worried shitless for hours, only to have their child brought home by the police and then to be told - in a cocky "fuck you" kind of way - that they hang around with drug dealers...

You cannot expect normal reasoned responses in such circumstances.

Former Member

Yeah but I think there's a difference between a quick jolted response such as saying 'you're getting chucked out' and an attack like that. They were angry and she should definitely expect an apology. Parents are supposed to make you feel safe. Maybe she didn't tell them because that was the kind of response she was gonna get.

Former Member

Again you are talking reasoned response.

I don't think it was a "I want to hurt" you reaction, I think it was a "do you realise what you are putting us through, you've scared the shit out of us" reaction. Different motive, different levels. It's more akin to the parent who slap a child that's just run into the road. It's insn't so much as punishment in the way that some might think.

That said, I still don't think that it was right and I still think that they should apologise. The only other piece of advice I would give is that the OP should have a damned hard look at how they live their life...

Former Member

Rachael wrote: »

Yeah but I think there's a difference between a quick jolted response such as saying 'you're getting chucked out' and an attack like that. They were angry and she should definitely expect an apology. Parents are supposed to make you feel safe. Maybe she didn't tell them because that was the kind of response she was gonna get.

I think that's his point though, that unless you're an actual parent and go through these things then you can only talk from it in a hypothetical "what should happen" viewpoint.

Former Member

Mmm I see your point now. Adreneline would be high and heat of the moment etc. Glad you agree about the double apology.

Yerascrote I hate the 'until you are a parent' line. My opinion is just as valid even if I haven't squeezed one out.

Former Member

I came home drunk when I was 15 and got slapped across the face.
It taught me a lesson. I guess you're a bit older than that though and it wasn't really necessary.

Former Member

Well the way I read it.. just thinking was really drunk and aggressive and shouting and swearing at her parents after being brought home in a police car. I would expect them to be very fucking angry at 3 in the morning and then for her to shout that she is involved in drugs and dealers.. well you would expect parents to react to that. I'm sure they're sorry but things happen in the heat of the moment.

Former Member

Rachael wrote: »

Yerascrote I hate the 'until you are a parent' line. My opinion is just as valid even if I haven't squeezed one out.

But you can emphasis with a parent reacting in such a manner? Sometimes the love for a child is so strong that it manifests itself physically. I think that's the case here, if he held her up against the wall for not cleaning her dishes then it's a different story.

Former Member

Man Of Kent wrote: »

I don't think it was a "I want to hurt" you reaction, I think it was a "do you realise what you are putting us through, you've scared the shit out of us" reaction. ...

Yeah that's what I wanted to say..

Former Member

Rachael wrote: »

Glad you agree about the double apology.

Never in question.

Yerascrote I hate the 'until you are a parent' line. My opinion is just as valid even if I haven't squeezed one out.

It's valid, true, but being a parent changes you emotionally. Certainly that's the experience I have had.

Without question I would die for my children, I love them unconditionally and I - subconsciously - worry about them every single minute of the day. There is no-one else in my life that I have such feelings for. Never have and I cannot imagain that I ever will.

I hate it when they are sick, I hate it when I can see that they are worrying about something. It breaks my heart to see them cry - about anything.

My top two fears in life are that one of them goes before I do, or that I go before they have grown up and able to manage in the big wide world.

Personally, I don't believe that there is another relatiohsip, between two people, which comes close to that between parent and child. Even if it's only one way.

Former Member

Yerascrote wrote: »

But you can emphasis with a parent reacting in such a manner? Sometimes the love for a child is so strong that it manifests itself physically. I think that's the case here, if he held her up against the wall for not cleaning her dishes then it's a different story.

I think that I have the ability to empathise without having been through it myself. I've loved/cared/been angry. True it doesn't involve a child but all of these emotions are human and not restricted to parents. Just dislike the write off of non-parents because 'they haven't been there'. It seems like such an easy rebuction reply.

littlemissy

I think the fact that her dad went round driving, looking for her, shows that the parents cared too.

I'm not condoning what her parents did, but at the same time I am not surprised at their reactions either. It couldn't have been a very nice thing to see their daughter coming home in a police car, drunk out of her mind and swearing and telling her parents that she is involved with coke dealers and then goes off to stay with a friend. Yes, a double apology is needed, but it all needs to start with the OP.

littlemissy

Rachael wrote: »

I think that I have the ability to empathise without having been through it myself. I've loved/cared/been angry. True it doesn't involve a child but all of these emotions are human and not restricted to parents. Just dislike the write off of non-parents because 'they haven't been there'. It seems like such an easy rebuction reply.

I'm not trying to belittle or patronise you or make you feel that your opinions are any less valid than the next dudes, but I don't think you can fully compare feelings (whether it be anger or love or whatever) you have had with a friend / partner / whoever as feelings you would have with your own child.

Maybe I'm wrong as i've not 'squeezed one out yet' but I think there is a bond there that is very different to what you would experience with anyone else.

Former Member

Yeah sorry for that terminology it's a bit gross. There are some things that I won't ever understand until I have a child like changing a nappy or dealing with a tantrum but I have faith in my beliefs and values and those happen to be completely anti-violence.

Former Member

Rachael wrote: »

I have faith in my beliefs and values and those happen to be completely anti-violence.

I'm the guy who has had, at most, two of three punch-ups in my life. I don't believe in violence.

That said, I nearly laid out my father and brother-in-law when they scared my eldest by having a shoving fight infront of him (he was three). And again when some kids nicked his bike - I actually had one up against a wall.

The protection instict is so very, very, primeval.

Former Member

Man Of Kent wrote: »

I'm the guy who has had, at most, two of three punch-ups in my life. I don't believe in violence.

That said, I nearly laid out my father and brother-in-law when they scared my eldest by having a shoving fight infront of him (he was three). And again when some kids nicked his bike - I actually had one up against a wall.

The protection instict is so very, very, primeval.

Damn you stop making me think!

I can consider in certain situations but I can say honestly that I wouldnt use violence as a form as punishment. I feel really strongly about that.

littlemissy

Rachael wrote: »

Damn you stop making me think!

I can consider in certain situations but I can say honestly that I wouldnt use violence as a form as punishment. I feel really strongly about that.

But the OPs parents weren't using it as a form of punishment. Of that I am sure.