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Madddddd

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
OK I am mad. Need to write it down to get my angryness out! :mad:

I was meant to be going out tonight with some mates like normal on a Friday night. Whilst I was in the shower this morning my mum looked through my messages on my phone (reason no 1 for being mad) and then said you arent going out this weekend (reason no 2 for being mad). I was like urm why? I really did not know what I had done wrong. So she started going on about how she has read the messages from "andy" on my phone and that I am not going to see him tonight. I explained that I wasnt planning on seeing andy tonight just my friends. She said she had read a message saying he would see me tomorrow night. She has got it allllll wrrronggg. He was meant to be coming out with us tonight but I wasnt going to just see him. She hasnt been like this for a while, she is getting all control-freakish on me again. I thought she had stopped this for a short while. I'm not even seeing this andy, he is just a lad I met and I was texting him. :grump: It's not fair.

Comments

  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    And why do you have to stay in just because she said so?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You're 16 and your ma doesn't let you go out to see your boy mates? Tell her to wise up and go anyway.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why is she angry that you've been texting this guy?!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    that sucks.

    any particular reason she went through your phone?
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    Yerascrote wrote: »
    You're 16 and your ma doesn't let you go out to see your boy mates? Tell her to wise up and go anyway.
    :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aye, god knows what she thinks of me or what she thinks I have in mind. She must think I am going to sleep with him or something, she is parinoid.

    Trussssttt me I don't stay in just because she said so, well not normally but I can't be bothered arguing with her but if I want to go out later I will.

    Don't think she is bothered I was texting him really, just when he said will see you tomorrow about 7 or whatever and she thinks I am lying to her now and am not going out with my friends but going over to see him. Pathetic she is!

    Oh and she went through my phone cos she is a total bitch!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    TBH If you still go out then you aren't giving her a reason to trust you in the future.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    TBH If you still go out then you aren't giving her a reason to trust you in the future.
    Indeed, but staying in won't give her a reason to trust either. Just show that she's an obedient little kid.
  • **helen****helen** Mod malarkist Posts: 9,235 Listening Ear
    TBH If you still go out then you aren't giving her a reason to trust you in the future.

    hmmm, could you meet her half way? Calmly tell her that you're willing to negotiate, but if she stops you from going out to see your trusted friends then it will only drive you apart. I had a curfew when I was 16 (sad I know) but at least I could still go out. Perhaps you could suggest that as a way to go out while still allowing her to set some boundaries? But whatever happens, try your damned hardest not to lost your temper.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am being an obediant little kid, I didnt answer her back (too much) or argue with her too much and she thinks she has won. I am in my bedroom mad as hell, frustrated but she doesn't know. I figured out going and doing what she has told me not to do just makes more arguments and it just gets into a big mess. I give up eh
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Most parents I know would be glad their 16 year old child was friendly with someone of the opposite sex.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    *Ashlee* wrote: »
    I am being an obediant little kid, I didnt answer her back (too much) or argue with her too much and she thinks she has won. I am in my bedroom mad as hell, frustrated but she doesn't know. I figured out going and doing what she has told me not to do just makes more arguments and it just gets into a big mess. I give up eh
    Sorry, but that's not good. Staying in only makes her think she has more power over you. It doesn't help her trust you more at all. You're degrading yourself by staying in for no other reason than that she said so.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have tried getting more power over her, I did that for a while, we never talked we only shouted and screamed at each other. I went out didn't come back when I said, I stayed over at people house's without telling her and all that shit and somehow thats all been forgotton; well since I finished my ex bf. I dunno I don't fancy starting it all again, mabye by doing what she says means that I can tell her that he really is just a mate and I was going to out with him and lots of my other friends too. Mabye she will listen to me more than if I just go out behind her back? But then mabye she won't - who knows.
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    If you go out "behind her back" she definitely won't listen any more, but if you stay in there's no reason she'll think she was wrong. Only that you've been put in your place and will always do as she says.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So your saying if I stay in she will think that she was right, and I have been put in my place hence why I am staying in.

    Hmmm yeah I suppose so. Mabye I should ask her, probably to get my head bitten off!
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    I'm only saying what I think, don't take it as if I was God or anything.
    Ask her or not, my opinion is that if you stay in nothing good will come, if you don't at least you'll probably have a good time.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It doesn't help her trust you more at all.

    Being disobeyed really doesn't go down well with parents you know.
    You're degrading yourself by staying in for no other reason than that she said so.

    I wouldn't have said it was degrading. What was degrading was her Mum ready her phone texts. Personally I find that outrageous.

    Like Helen said, you need to talk to you Mum but you also have to remember that you said that you wasn't going to meet this boy when actually you was - regardless of the fact that you were going to be part of a group - that still was a lie, no matter how small.

    I think you need to mention to you Mum how much of a privacy invasion it is when you read other people's text messages, it's like opening their post. I have never done that to my wife or my kids.
    Staying in only makes her think she has more power over you.

    To a certain extent that's exactly what she has. Part of that includes keys to the door, food on the table and roof over head.

    A battle of wills is only going to go two ways, you back down because there more to lose, or you walk out and you both lose.

    Staying in says that yuo respect the fact that she is your MUm and in her house it's her rules that apply.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you need to mention to you Mum how much of a privacy invasion it is when you read other people's text messages, it's like opening their post. I have never done that to my wife or my kids.

    I dunno- I don't think it's that unreasonable when ashlee admits that she used to be more rebelious and well given her mother reason to distrust her word.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't care how rebellious someone has been. Some things are private. E-mail, post and text messages. I happily leave the room when my son is on th ephone talking to his g/f. I was young too and you don't get much prvacy.

    But I hate, with a passion, snooping. If her Mum doesn't trust her anyway, then why should ashlee bother? It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. At the same time, I know that ashlee isn't helping herself.

    Whilst with one hand you give kids enough freedom to make their own mistakes, your kids also have to learn that "my house, my rules" really isn't such an unreasonable concept. It is very rare that those rules aren't based on a level of concern for the child's welfare.
  • SkiveSkive No discipline. No morality. No respect. New ForestPosts: 15,130 Skive's The Limit
    I'd just go out. Her house, but at 16 she doesn't need to be interfering with your social life.
    Yesterday is history
    Tomorrow is a mystery
    But today is a gift
    That’s why it’s call the present
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    Being disobeyed really doesn't go down well with parents you know.
    Yes, but I think you didn't get my point. Staying in doesn't mean that she was telling the truth. Distrust will remain the same either way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you need to mention to you Mum how much of a privacy invasion it is when you read other people's text messages, it's like opening their post. I have never done that to my wife or my kids.

    :yes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, but I think you didn't get my point. Staying in doesn't mean that she was telling the truth. Distrust will remain the same either way.

    Someone has to back down a little and be willing to compromise...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Welll I said to her that it isn't fair that I can't go out just because she got the wrong end of the stick and I went up to my mates but was back by 11 as she said; though I did miss going bowling with group of mates who were going. But I guess that is that thing called a comprimise you were on about :razz:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ah well all sorted then.

    'Next week in our new sitcom Ashlee & Mum, Mum gets concerned over a condom found in the bisuit barrel, with hilarious consequences for Ashlee. That's Ashlee & Mum. 8pm Friday.'

    :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    8pm friday, right I must write that down :razz:
  • Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Warming up? Posts: 16,688
    Someone has to back down a little and be willing to compromise...
    So are you saying that if that was you, compromise would make you think "Alright, maybe I was wrong"? Ok then.

    Well done Ash, anyway :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ashlee, I'm happy that you managed to compromise the situation. Next time though, I suggest that you lock your handset with a PIN. The method varies depending on the phone model but it should be in the manual.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Monserrat wrote: »
    Ashlee, I'm happy that you managed to compromise the situation. Next time though, I suggest that you lock your handset with a PIN. The method varies depending on the phone model but it should be in the manual.

    Was going to suggest that too. Samsung phones (I'm not sure if any others do) allow you to just lock the messages as well, which might be useful.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Get hold of andy and ask him to text some stuff like 'yeah she wont let me go out so im gonna stab the bitch later' etc etc then take another shower leaving your phone unattended...
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