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Well technically, she came back to me, is the way I think of it. But that was long and drawn out and we were just being friends (took about 5 months or so of friendship I think). Not sure how it got beyond friends, but it did. But yea, major major trust issues now. I still get flashbacks that make me angry and upset, and get in a mood and want to split up with her - but it's not for anything she's doing now, but because of my memories. I still remember I couldn't look at her after we split when everything became obvious.
I threw up when I found out, too :eek2:. The dodgy thing is, if I hadn't have seen the text messages, her behaviour didn't change at all. Although the guy was a bit of an emotional leech and telling her it wasn't wrong it was love and I was an abusive boyfriend?? I think she fell for it when she was stuck between us, but as soon as I was gone she saw him for what he was and how much she'd f*cked things up. I think when she was in a relationship with me, for whatever reason, she didn't think it was wrong, except that I'd get upset if I found out.
As for the OP: don't worry about being silly, really. Everyone has suspicions, and they're horrid, especially if there are powergames and the other party makes you feel like you're a paranoid, delusional, terrible partner. I mean, sometimes a text is just a text, but sometimes it could imply more. For example, this guy saying what a perfect day he'd had with my girlfriend. Nothing conclusive, but definately a bit fishy (when do you say that to someone when you just hang out with them?).
I feel a bit rotten now. :grump:
:no: I don't agree. I regard my phone as private and if any boyfriend of mine read my text messages, I really wouldn't be happy about it. If someone feels the need to look at your text messages then they clearly don't trust you.
I've never done it in the past and never will, purely because in my head, its wrong to.
This is like, EXACTLY what happened with me, only a week or so ago!
She kept telling me she wanted me and they were just friends, then when we argued she told me the truth that she was with him now, getting physical, needed to concentrate on her relationship with him and not me. Blocked me on msn and deleted me from her myspace friends list and pretty much made sure i knew she had lied about getting with him and telling me i was paranoid to think they were cheating was just her trying to cover up the truth. It all happened very quickly, but it feels like it went on for ages!
I personally think Cheaters are horrible people! If you are with some one, either be with them or break up with them before you go off with some one else! It isn't fair to be go off cheating!
not true at all.
i've never been tempted to read through a boyfriends messages! so it's not 'standard' at all. it's plain nosey.
Surely if you trust them enough, you wouldn't think twice about looking at their phone?
Personally, it's not something I would do. I hate people looking through my phone so it's be wrong of me to want to do that to any boyfriend (or anyone for that amtter) I may have.
Girl: Hello
Me: Hi, is [insert name] there?
Girl: Who wants to know?
Me: Errr me!
Girl: and who might you be?
Me: His gf, who are you? where's [insert name]
Girl: He's busy [giggle]...and btw, you're not his gf anymore
And over the next two years i got phone calls from him while they were having sex (i'm the 1st person in his phone book) and had to put up with her whenever i was over at his house (he's a family friend and she took up permanent residence there). Not fun
I hope to god you're kidding
Same. I kicked a bloke out of a hotel when i found him going through my phone. The fact he cried and told the receptionist he loved me made it even more hilarious
No, phsyically out of a window :razz:
I mean this in the nicest way possible and aim it at noone in particular, but if the people you're seeing have to put up with this kind of crazy/paranoid behaviour, is it any wonder they cheat on you?
I kicked him out of the door, it's practically the same but without the glass
I wouldn't allow anybody to go through my texts today, I don't even see what purpose it would serve. Just like I'm not allowing anybody to go through my emails or MSN chat history. I'd feel pretty mad if any of those happened behind my back.
Aye, and just like you wouldn't let anyone go through your drawers or wardrobe. It's plain irritating if notihng else.
ha well only if I've got reason to. It's better to find out yourself if someone's cheating on you or whatever than continue letting them take the piss out of you.
Yes. Discoverd how to do this accidently a few weeks ago.:o
Yeah, but then you need to press another five buttons every time you want to look at your phone. That would get annoying fast.
I have done that in that past. I won't do it to every guy but sometimes I just want to check that they're not texting any other girls. You know if its the beginnings of things and its too early to have 'the talk'. Yeh its immoral but I don't care
As far as I know I've never been cheated on but that doesn't mean anthing does it. Although I've never suspected it either.
I've been messed about so much in the past, been out with complete players and I want to know what I am getting into. In a way I am glad I looked in this guy's phone, at least I now have a fairly good idea that he's seeing other women and so I won't get so emotionally involved and I'm staying on my guard.
In an ideal world people would never feel suspicious of each other but life isn't like that. I certainly think looking through someone's phone is far less of a crime/bad thing than pretending to be having an exclusive relationship while sleeping with other women!
See, minefield.
As for the OP: ive never found out ive been cheated on, but ive cheated and been caught in some stupid ways.
First time, i told one person i thought i could trust what had happend and due to petty jealousy it was then told to everyone and all hell broke loose.
Other than that, a girl i was seeing asked me how many people id slept with on a particularly drunk night out and my numbers didnt match up with what id said at the start of our relationship - whoops indeed.
I tell you, learnt my lesson over the years.
I wouldn't mind if Rich read my texts anyway, the vast majority of them are from him and I have nothing to hide.
I found out I was cheated on because he wrote it on his LiveJournal, although he then pretended someone had hacked his LJ and written an essay of an entry to make me think he'd cheated on me. Not quite sure why I fell for that one, mind. Discovered it was all true about two years later
Found out because he showed up right when I had to go back in for a lesson, I didn't know he was working in the area/behind us but mate had suddenly turned and gone back, and I got a phonecall off him once she'd reached him. I think I kind of knew then, but of course I trusted her if not him. So off they buggered, and then that night on msn he mentioned showing her a cave in the woods we'd er, spent time in.
Next day I can tell something is bothering her, so after some coaxing she lets slip that she kissed him, right by the Tesco security guard so I couldn't thump her. :grump: Confronted him on msn that night and he confessed all.
I've never ever read a boyfriends texts, although I've only had two, but my ex would never ever have cheated on me, and even after the above, I know my now boyfriend of two years would never cheat on me. He'd just smoke behind my back and lie about it, or get confused about what he wants and clam up completely. :rolleyes:
The "best mate" is still on my hit list. :mad:
anyhow ,i forgave but couldnt forget ,so our relationship was doomed..realise now ,how much better i am without him,;)
Thats crazy. Why couldn't a new bf text other girls - i'd go fuckin mental if a girl touched my fone.