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Some insight into my sortof problem, please
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hello, long time no see
I have been quite the busy beaver recently:p
Ok, here's the deal. I've been seeing this older woman for a few months now and I'm kinda not sure whether to end it or keep seeing her. I have no real reason to feel pissed off with her, so don't have a go at me (just the way I'm feeling!)
The rules of our relationship are quite simple; No commitment, (which she kindly reminded of last night!) And sex! As she's 27 and I'm 19, This should suit me! But I'm not sure if I'm happy?!
I wont go too much into the sex aspect of it because here isn't the place to do it.
Right, how things stand at the moment between me and this woman are: friends that shag, although last night on the train home she told me that she wasn't looking for commitment (I already knew this, so I was a little surprised when she told me it again)
Anyway, me being me (strange & peculiar) had doubts over her reasons for reminding me, I told her that when a girl normally mentions something like this, it's because they have something planned!!!
She tells me I'm being silly and she hasn't got anything planned. I accept this and we carry on talking. About an hour after her 'reminding' me:rolleyes: she tells me of an old lover she's going to meet...........Then it clicks, The bitch:p . She'll be fucking him soon (So I was right, whenever a girl tells you something that like that, she's up to something and just covering her back!)
I know I've got no right to feel this way, because she's been honest and upfront from the beginning but now I'm not sure if I want to carry on seeing her. She thinks she has me worked out and perhaps under the thumb! (I don't mind being used sometimes if I'm getting something good back!)
So what do you think I should do?
1) Carry on seeing her?
2) Finish with her?
I think I want a proper gf now, one whom I can trust and perhaps even love.
This has been kinda rushed and I just needed to get it off my chest. Any input or suggestions?
I have been quite the busy beaver recently:p
Ok, here's the deal. I've been seeing this older woman for a few months now and I'm kinda not sure whether to end it or keep seeing her. I have no real reason to feel pissed off with her, so don't have a go at me (just the way I'm feeling!)
The rules of our relationship are quite simple; No commitment, (which she kindly reminded of last night!) And sex! As she's 27 and I'm 19, This should suit me! But I'm not sure if I'm happy?!
I wont go too much into the sex aspect of it because here isn't the place to do it.
Right, how things stand at the moment between me and this woman are: friends that shag, although last night on the train home she told me that she wasn't looking for commitment (I already knew this, so I was a little surprised when she told me it again)
Anyway, me being me (strange & peculiar) had doubts over her reasons for reminding me, I told her that when a girl normally mentions something like this, it's because they have something planned!!!
She tells me I'm being silly and she hasn't got anything planned. I accept this and we carry on talking. About an hour after her 'reminding' me:rolleyes: she tells me of an old lover she's going to meet...........Then it clicks, The bitch:p . She'll be fucking him soon (So I was right, whenever a girl tells you something that like that, she's up to something and just covering her back!)
I know I've got no right to feel this way, because she's been honest and upfront from the beginning but now I'm not sure if I want to carry on seeing her. She thinks she has me worked out and perhaps under the thumb! (I don't mind being used sometimes if I'm getting something good back!)
So what do you think I should do?
1) Carry on seeing her?
2) Finish with her?
I think I want a proper gf now, one whom I can trust and perhaps even love.
This has been kinda rushed and I just needed to get it off my chest. Any input or suggestions?
0
Comments
I'm sure you've had a lot of fun but sometimes these things don't work out long term, and as you say you'd rather have a proper girlfriend. Life's too short to spend time feeling used when you could get out of it and get what you really want.
There is no chance of a "proper relationship" with her, she told me that at the start! So my only options are either end it now or later. Or let her end it
I am very glad of the experience, and she taught me alot.
Regarding the "feeling" aspect, I am trying to fight them! It's an uphill struggle and I'm not sure if I'm winning.
It doesn't help matters that she works with me and everyone everyone knows about us in our company. Also my Parents are soooo understanding about it and don't mind that she stays over two or 3 nights a week!
I am undecided still..... I'm going to go out and have a curry and get pissed tonight and hopefully my life will all be sorted out in the morning:eek2:
I'm not saying that's exactly what you meant, but in case it was, don't do it!
keep an eye out for a proper girl and have this milf satisfy your needs while looking?
but then again those basturds feelings won't stay quiet will they.
like kids in the back of the car
do you like her yet, do you like her yet, do you like her yet, do you like her yet... and so and so on
take a lot of pit stops and don't get to the holiday resort
hopefully you will crash and get a better car to keep on insurance!
No, I meant I'll act the way I do now, and hope she'll end it. (if I chose that path)
Lol @ Molo
Could do, There was this other girl I've sort of been talking to (who's my age) But she has a bf already.*I don't fancy doing the cheating thing again!!* Although she keeps telling me she use to fancy me in school and we are flirting when we talk to each other! I'm meant to be going for a drink with her soon, So who knows!
But if I keep things as they are with older bird, I'm in risk of them fucking kids hijacking me and taken the car for a joyride (crashing and burring big time with me in it!!)
But on the other hand, lifes full of risk, you've just got to play along with it!.............. :crazyeyes
Um without being accused of bitterness or jealousyness (it aint a word so i dont care its been spelt wrong!) the whole thing does seem kinda fucked up. You are being used, in a bad way. You can tell yourself its just sex and all that shit but it still aint nice!
There are 8502095742 girls out there that'll give you sex without using you. Find one and stick to that!
God your a complicated little man aintcha
Edited to say: Think with your brain and not your dick...hard for you to do i know!
Take your experiences to woo another girl, and go teach her a thing or two she didnt know existed
Edited to correct spazzy typing
Thanks, good advice!
This other bloke she might be "doing" is 22 or 23 (she likes em young it would seem!:p ) So I doubt she'll have him as her bf. But your right, I don't fancy sloppy second much.
I know I should end it but. ... but... I'm a coward.
*Talking to me is like talking to a brick wall:banghead: *
I'll give it a week or 2 and see how it all stands then, I'm hoping (dreaming, more like!!) I'll meet a nice girl and be able to end it with this bint!
LacyMay, I know I'm being used, but sometimes its bad and sometimes its good. Just depends what light you look at it.
Open relationships are great if both people are fine with it but it seems that you are not and would prefer it if it were an exclusive relationship! In this case you have shown her that you can't cope with her maintaining some distance and separateness.
My advice...end it now, explain to her that you are begining to expect more and are not happy to carry on as before. Then she can let you know if she is feeling the sam (Sounds like she's not)
Then perhaps find someone who does want to commit themselves to you fully.
Seems to me that she only likes younger guys because she can control them. And however fit she is, she has no excuse really. Unless she is Jennifer Lopez, and then she does.
tell them kids in the back to shut the fuck up and get out the car, and burn it!
tell her to fuck off and have wanks instead.
NOW
Yeah, I kinda figured out she likes the idea of control & power soon after we'd gone to bed together, I didn't mind for obvious reasons. But for the last two days I've not really spoken to her so things would seem to be coming to an end. (It's kinda good and bad I guess) I guess she got/getting bored with me, What a pity:p :rolleyes:
She'll still no doubt use me for a place to stay when she drunk or when she fancies a shag. I might surprise her and say NO!
Edit: becuase I can't spell!!
for your own sake you've got to end it. but be fair tell her to her face. it is for the best, it may hurt but believe me if you see or find her with someone else it will be 1000 times worse.
find someone who will respect and love you .
edited to say [/Bitterness]
Thank you for that amazing insight into this problem. Please feel free to go away, gain some intelligence, and then come back.
And on a more personal note, just as many women are cruel in relationships as men are. But men dont WHINGE about it for DAYS ON END and just GET ON WITH IT.
Sounds like you've either got to get that mental detachment attitude to it, or end it for the sake of your own sanity.
Sounded like you had a lot of fun, which you recognise in saying that at least you have something to take to another relationship. And you can't be all that attached as you've already mentioned having eyes for another girl anyway.
Candy, just a small point, but you say you don't love your boyfriend. Aren't you just using him too, while being used by the IT guy?
Mr_Wobble
Please feel free to go away and get a sense of humour :rolleyes:
She phoned me last night about half 10 at night, she was pissed at Victory Station (and I am currently ill and finding it hard to talk and she wanted a little 'chat'!)
She told me that she thinks it best if we finish it (I was already acting like it was finished anyway!) She went on about how nice I am and how I need to harden up
Then the stupid cow told me to never change! :eek2: lol
I saw this coming a few days after I originally made this thread so it's not come as a shock. The thing is, The bitch basically told me she'd still shag me when she horny or whatever (If I like) and she'll carry on teaching me -so, Translation, when she needs a place to stay or sex. She might come and see me!
So if her mind, I bet she thinking she'll get the best of both worlds. As I said before, I didn't mind being used as long as I was getting something back. Now It's only when she wants it so I'm going to end it all and just be mates. I don't need her sex!
Thanks for all your advice guys.