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Teenage lad starting to feel down...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok, basically I just don't know where to go from my current position and could use some help.
I've never been out with anyone before, but just recently have realised how much I like my best friend (girl obviously). I genuinly do really like her and she is the one I want to go out with because of this.
I told her this a few months ago and been the great mate that she is understood every last word I said. She know's how I feel and although she likes me too it's not in the same kind of way. She likes me very much as a friend and has never considered anything else. When she said this I accepted it and tried to move on.
However, since then we have grown to be even greater friends, something which I didn't think was actually possible considering how well we got on before. My problem is that however hard I try to move on I just cannot do it. I love her so much I don't think I can move on, or if I did I would never be able to simply 'get over' her and this is starting to get to me.
I don't know what to do and I do not to ruin this fantastic relationship we already have. What do I do? Do I tell her honestly that I just cannot seem to move on and it's starting to get me down, or do I stay in silence?
What ever I do it must be the right choice. I do not ever want to loose her as a friend. Ever.
Please give me any advice you may have.
Thanks.
I've never been out with anyone before, but just recently have realised how much I like my best friend (girl obviously). I genuinly do really like her and she is the one I want to go out with because of this.
I told her this a few months ago and been the great mate that she is understood every last word I said. She know's how I feel and although she likes me too it's not in the same kind of way. She likes me very much as a friend and has never considered anything else. When she said this I accepted it and tried to move on.
However, since then we have grown to be even greater friends, something which I didn't think was actually possible considering how well we got on before. My problem is that however hard I try to move on I just cannot do it. I love her so much I don't think I can move on, or if I did I would never be able to simply 'get over' her and this is starting to get to me.
I don't know what to do and I do not to ruin this fantastic relationship we already have. What do I do? Do I tell her honestly that I just cannot seem to move on and it's starting to get me down, or do I stay in silence?
What ever I do it must be the right choice. I do not ever want to loose her as a friend. Ever.
Please give me any advice you may have.
Thanks.
0
Comments
Hey comrade, I've been in EXACTLY the same situation as you, though I'm a few months on from your present predicament.
I guess my advice is that you have to make a decision, then stick to it. I know you say you definately want to be friends with her, but is this because you actually do or you just want her in your life, even if shes not gouing to be ain a relationship with you?
As such I reckon youve got 3 options:
1) try and make her want you back, and go all out. if it doesnt workl cease contact and face a few months of agony before getting over her
2) stay freinds with her and try get over her, which will be very hard and will cause you avergae misery for a long time
3) stay friends with her but not be as close and try get over her
4) as above but stay close, and give it your best shot
I went for 4 and it took AGES to get over her, but in the last few weeks ive managed to a bit. Itd help if you made other female friends and stuff, or truied to get a gf.
PM me if you want any more advice- I went for the cowardly option though and probably am not the best counsellor!
I do believe however that I could tell her anything and she would stay a friend and I know that inside I will never stop liking her, even if I moved to the other side of the world.
I sometimes think about how she might like me back but I don't think there is much I can do. The general feeling I am getting is that she also wants to be a friend forever more.
I think I should just leave things be for a while and see how things look later. I still welcome your advice on this subject though, it would help me so much.
Thanks
Now, seriously.... I think you should take the chance, and let her know how you feel. If you don't, then someone else will come along and take her away, then how will you feel? Ok, so you may declare your feelings for her, she may get scared by the idea, and you may loose a friend. But are you willing to still be such a great friend while watching her going out with someone else? That'll be hard for you. This could be your only chance with her. I think you should tell her. Anybody disagree, or have another viewpoint?
Mr_Wobble