Teenage lad starting to feel down...

Former Member

Ok, basically I just don't know where to go from my current position and could use some help.

I've never been out with anyone before, but just recently have realised how much I like my best friend (girl obviously). I genuinly do really like her and she is the one I want to go out with because of this.

I told her this a few months ago and been the great mate that she is understood every last word I said. She know's how I feel and although she likes me too it's not in the same kind of way. She likes me very much as a friend and has never considered anything else. When she said this I accepted it and tried to move on.

However, since then we have grown to be even greater friends, something which I didn't think was actually possible considering how well we got on before. My problem is that however hard I try to move on I just cannot do it. I love her so much I don't think I can move on, or if I did I would never be able to simply 'get over' her and this is starting to get to me.

I don't know what to do and I do not to ruin this fantastic relationship we already have. What do I do? Do I tell her honestly that I just cannot seem to move on and it's starting to get me down, or do I stay in silence?

What ever I do it must be the right choice. I do not ever want to loose her as a friend. Ever.

Please give me any advice you may have.
Thanks.

Former Member

i think you have to be very careful in whatever decision you make. youve already told her youre interested and she told you she didnt feel the same way - is there a possibility that her feelings may have changed? you have to consider this honestly though - is there a REAL possibility rather than you just hoping there might be? you have said you dont want to lose her - please dont jump in and tell her you love her or anything unless you want to scare her away. this is quite a difficult situation - i dont think anyone can tell you what to do, you have to do what is best for you. however if you do decide to tell her you still have feelings for her please please accept it if she still insists she only sees you as a friend. this has happened to me a few times and the friendships were ruined by the guys refusal to take no for an answer - they seemed to think because i was friendly towards them they might still have a chance even when i told them there was no chance.i understand that this girl is important to you so please consider her feelings as well as your own. good luck and remember if things go badly you WILL get over it and you WILL meet someone else you like in time. i hope ive helped a bit even if this answer wasnt what you wanted to hear.:)

Former Member

In my opinion, I think you should tell her that since you last spoke to her you have been unable to think about anything else. She reacted well the first time and didn't put distance between the two of you, so even if you do tell her and she doesn't feel the same, I think she will always be your friend.

Former Member

Re: Teenage lad starting to feel down...

Originally posted by MrMoggy
Ok, basically I just don't know where to go from my current position and could use some help.

I've never been out with anyone before, but just recently have realised how much I like my best friend (girl obviously). I genuinly do really like her and she is the one I want to go out with because of this.

I told her this a few months ago and been the great mate that she is understood every last word I said. She know's how I feel and although she likes me too it's not in the same kind of way. She likes me very much as a friend and has never considered anything else. When she said this I accepted it and tried to move on.

However, since then we have grown to be even greater friends, something which I didn't think was actually possible considering how well we got on before. My problem is that however hard I try to move on I just cannot do it. I love her so much I don't think I can move on, or if I did I would never be able to simply 'get over' her and this is starting to get to me.

I don't know what to do and I do not to ruin this fantastic relationship we already have. What do I do? Do I tell her honestly that I just cannot seem to move on and it's starting to get me down, or do I stay in silence?

What ever I do it must be the right choice. I do not ever want to loose her as a friend. Ever.

Please give me any advice you may have.
Thanks.

Hey comrade, I've been in EXACTLY the same situation as you, though I'm a few months on from your present predicament.

I guess my advice is that you have to make a decision, then stick to it. I know you say you definately want to be friends with her, but is this because you actually do or you just want her in your life, even if shes not gouing to be ain a relationship with you?

As such I reckon youve got 3 options:
1) try and make her want you back, and go all out. if it doesnt workl cease contact and face a few months of agony before getting over her
2) stay freinds with her and try get over her, which will be very hard and will cause you avergae misery for a long time
3) stay friends with her but not be as close and try get over her
4) as above but stay close, and give it your best shot

I went for 4 and it took AGES to get over her, but in the last few weeks ive managed to a bit. Itd help if you made other female friends and stuff, or truied to get a gf.

PM me if you want any more advice- I went for the cowardly option though and probably am not the best counsellor!

Former Member

Well I do sometimes get hints she likes me back, but of course I look for possible hints all the time without meaning too. It's just a natural thing. I never set out to look for signs that she doesn't feel the same so I never notice any.

I do believe however that I could tell her anything and she would stay a friend and I know that inside I will never stop liking her, even if I moved to the other side of the world.

I sometimes think about how she might like me back but I don't think there is much I can do. The general feeling I am getting is that she also wants to be a friend forever more.

I think I should just leave things be for a while and see how things look later. I still welcome your advice on this subject though, it would help me so much.

Thanks

Former Member

You're a teenager, you're supposed to feel down!

Now, seriously.... I think you should take the chance, and let her know how you feel. If you don't, then someone else will come along and take her away, then how will you feel? Ok, so you may declare your feelings for her, she may get scared by the idea, and you may loose a friend. But are you willing to still be such a great friend while watching her going out with someone else? That'll be hard for you. This could be your only chance with her. I think you should tell her. Anybody disagree, or have another viewpoint?

Mr_Wobble