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my gf wants to go clubbin, but i dnt want her to go
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
my gf wants to go clubbing, but i dont really want her to go...i no she wouldnt cheat on me but im worred about her going, i dont see the point if shes already got a bf. all my mates ask me to go clubbing with them and i turn them down because i love her so much i dont even want to look at other girls.
is this silly? do you think im doing the wrong thing by objecting to it?
is this silly? do you think im doing the wrong thing by objecting to it?
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Yes it is silly! Just because someone is in a relationship doesn't mean they shouldn't go clubbing. U don't just go out clubbing to pull! (Well that isn't my main aim anyway!)
One of my ex's tried to stop me going out clubbing with my mates, it didn't work & just drove us apart in the end.
U say u know she wouldn't cheat on u, so why are u so worried? U also shouldn't turn down going out with your mates, u can do things & have fun without being with your partner 24/7 & without cheating on them.
Come on man!! Who said that everyone goes to clubs to meet someone else, you go clubbing to get drunk, DANCE(funnily enough) do different things with your mates, have a laugh christ!!
You should go with your mates, you have been daft not to. You're only young once mate get out and about as much as you can.
She probably is sick of spending every free moment with you, as you appear paranoid, insecure and rather dull. Let her go out and enjoy herself... it might even be an idea to join her (but only when you finish that jig-saw puzzle, eh?).
YOU IDIOT, you clearley no nothing about me or my partner, she describes me as being the most interesting person she has met, and she must want to spend time with me because she is constentley ringin me to ask to come round, so i cant be that fucking boaring can i, and you may have got that imression beacuse i dont go clubs, well maybe its because im underage u prick
it's about having a good time with friends and enjoying yourself!
let her go!
In torpoint where i live there is one club and many pubs we have said that if he goes out with his mates to the pubs and drink as much as he wants and i go out with mine and i can drink what i like then we meet up later IN the club and each lot of mates meet and you know some start you know dating etc
Let her go a little and you wont regret it. shes not out to pull she just wants fun with her mates.
I think it's perfectly fine to tell her not to go clubbing!
Whatever next?! She'll be trying to escape from that pit you've dug in your cellar!
BUT if you stop her from going by making her feel guilty about it she'll feel you dont trust her.
Although she may agree not to go, she'll either go anyway, or she'll put on a happy face to you, but deep down she will be feeling trapped and suffocated.
By making her feel like this your not doing yourself any favours!
I had a boyfriend who objected to me going out of a nightime, and although I smiled sweetly and agreed i wouldnt go, I started to get more and more angry, and felt he didnt trust me, and in the end we split up!
Really, you not wanting her to go out clubbing is your way of controlling her.
xx
Yeah it definatly does seem like your being controlling!! Dont feel like shes looking around for something better, that suggests you arent very confident else you would think that you are enough for her and wouldnt worry about her wanting better. Trust is the key part to any relationship, so you just need to have that trust and let her go have fun with her mates every once in a while. Believe me its better to let her go out and have fun, you might not like it at the time but she'll thank you for it and its better than controlling her as this could cause problems in the future.
You should jsut talk w/ her and let her know if u havent allready...dont worry
I spent an awful long time wondering why my boyfriend didn't want to spend all his time with me which when you come to think of it is a bit of a crazy state of affairs.
Why should your partner want to be with you ALL the time? The best relationships work when each person has their own space and friends.
If you do trust her let her have this freedom, if she does go out with someon else then you know she was wrong for you.
One thing you musn't do is insist on going with her because as you have said you don't want to do those things, so why put yourself through the boredom of it all just to keep up with her.
Better to find something you like doing.
Maybe you should've mentioned you were underage then, Mr. Interesting?
Don't throw a tantrum at me, just get back to building that 3" anal-dildo out of Lego you've been constructing.
HEHE I like it
You two would be a perfect match
Now, now, thats not very nice is it
KWP, you might like to read this article about jealousy:
http://www.thesite.org/magazine/sex_and_relationships/jealousy.html
yet again your just another person who posts without thinking, i dont stop her, i have no intention to, im keeping my thoughts to myself and i want her to enjoy herself, personaly im just a bit worred, thats not a crime and i dont need people like you thinking im some control freak and a Self Righteous Prick , because i try not to be. and you dont know our relationship in and out so shut up, if she can tell me what to do and what i cant then isnt it fare for me to do that aswell.
Ha ha! What a good match they'd be!
Shit dude, calm down, you aren't doing yourself any favours.
Yep, it's true that none of us here know about your relationship so we're not qualified to comment on your characteristics. On the other hand how can we help someone (if you actually want help??) who we don't know?? If you give us all the relevant details perhaps we can suggest something useful to you.
From my POV reading through this thread it did indeed look like you were some sort of warpo control freak, which is the kinda thing that pisses me off as my sister suffered a over-controlling boyfriend for years before having the sense to dump his ass. You say you aren't so I'll believe you.
Anyway, you can give us the big picture with details so you can get some useful advice here or we can happily slate you into the ground. As ever, it's your choice.
i can see myself being controlling because sometimes she says things or does things, and i always thing about makeing comment on it, to try and change it to improve our relationship, but i notace thats being controlling so i dont ever make the comment, but i still think it, and it still anoys me, i wouldnt say it to her because i dont want to be controling, so i just stay pissed off in my head, its a wired situation, if you understand
If you trust her then what does it matter whether you trust her mates? Evidently you don't trust her if you think she will be so easily led by her friends.
Maybe you should accept the fact that people may think you are controlling and reply politely while still standing up for yourself rather than being aggressive to them. It will only put others off of helping you.
ok to put people streight AGAIN, please read all the posts i dont try and control her life pr make her feel guilty, i dont even tell her i have a problem wit it
Oh yeh?
You are trying to control her life, and it's not fair on her. Beleive it or not, she is entitled to a life outside the relationship.
Here's an idea, why don't you let her go clubbing with her mates, and then another night you go clubbing with your mates ??
Have a few drinks, a dance, whatever. It might loosen you up a bit, and you might come to realise that you can both have a good time with your friends, as well as having a good relationship with each other.
One things for sure though, if you don't lose the paranoia, you wont have a relationship to be paranoid about.