Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

my gf wants to go clubbin, but i dnt want her to go

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
my gf wants to go clubbing, but i dont really want her to go...i no she wouldnt cheat on me but im worred about her going, i dont see the point if shes already got a bf. all my mates ask me to go clubbing with them and i turn them down because i love her so much i dont even want to look at other girls.

is this silly? do you think im doing the wrong thing by objecting to it?
«1

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: my gf wants to go clubbin, but i dnt want her to go
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems
    iis this silly? do you think im doing the wrong thing by objecting to it?

    Yes it is silly! Just because someone is in a relationship doesn't mean they shouldn't go clubbing. U don't just go out clubbing to pull! (Well that isn't my main aim anyway!)

    One of my ex's tried to stop me going out clubbing with my mates, it didn't work & just drove us apart in the end.

    U say u know she wouldn't cheat on u, so why are u so worried? U also shouldn't turn down going out with your mates, u can do things & have fun without being with your partner 24/7 & without cheating on them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my gf wants to go clubbing, but i dont really want her to go...i no she wouldnt cheat on me but im worred about her going, i dont see the point if shes already got a bf. all my mates ask me to go clubbing with them and i turn them down because i love her so much i dont even want to look at other girls.

    is this silly? do you think im doing the wrong thing by objecting to it?

    Come on man!! Who said that everyone goes to clubs to meet someone else, you go clubbing to get drunk, DANCE(funnily enough) do different things with your mates, have a laugh christ!!

    You should go with your mates, you have been daft not to. You're only young once mate get out and about as much as you can.

    :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: my gf wants to go clubbin, but i dnt want her to go
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems
    my gf wants to go clubbing, but i dont really want her to go...i no she wouldnt cheat on me but im worred about her going, i dont see the point if shes already got a bf. all my mates ask me to go clubbing with them and i turn them down because i love her so much i dont even want to look at other girls.

    is this silly? do you think im doing the wrong thing by objecting to it?

    She probably is sick of spending every free moment with you, as you appear paranoid, insecure and rather dull. Let her go out and enjoy herself... it might even be an idea to join her (but only when you finish that jig-saw puzzle, eh?).
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: my gf wants to go clubbin, but i dnt want her to go
    Originally posted by captain kirk


    She probably is sick of spending every free moment with you, as you appear paranoid, insecure and rather dull. Let her go out and enjoy herself... it might even be an idea to join her (but only when you finish that jig-saw puzzle, eh?).

    YOU IDIOT, you clearley no nothing about me or my partner, she describes me as being the most interesting person she has met, and she must want to spend time with me because she is constentley ringin me to ask to come round, so i cant be that fucking boaring can i, and you may have got that imression beacuse i dont go clubs, well maybe its because im underage u prick
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh come on youve got to let her have some fun! If your not worried about her cheating on you then whats the problem? People dont just go clubbing to pull, they go to have a good time. You need to let her go out with her mates and have abit of fun every once in a while. Shes gonna feel insecure about you not wanting her to go, she'll probably feel that you cant trust her. Its perfectly normal for people to go clubbing without their partners, stop worrying about it and let her have some fun.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i agree with what everyone else has said. I go clubbing nearly everyweek and my bf doesnt even think twice about it, just because im not with him doesnt mean im cheating or looking at other blokes. If he ever even tried to stop me he would be straight out the door and if you keep stopping your partner i should imagine she will be too
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    like every1 has said, clubbin isnt just about finding the first person and getting off with them!! lol!
    it's about having a good time with friends and enjoying yourself!
    let her go!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As of yet i am not old enough to clubbing with my mates my mum and dad would rather i went with my boyfriend who is older and she trusts him as opposed to my mates. :D

    In torpoint where i live there is one club and many pubs we have said that if he goes out with his mates to the pubs and drink as much as he wants and i go out with mine and i can drink what i like then we meet up later IN the club and each lot of mates meet and you know ;) some start ;) you know dating etc :D

    Let her go a little and you wont regret it. shes not out to pull she just wants fun with her mates.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: my gf wants to go clubbin, but i dnt want her to go
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems
    is this silly? do you think im doing the wrong thing by objecting to it?

    I think it's perfectly fine to tell her not to go clubbing!

    Whatever next?! She'll be trying to escape from that pit you've dug in your cellar!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What's the matter, scared she'll have some fun without you? I suggest you keep her indoors at all times, then she won't be able to leave you at all.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can understand why you dont want her to go.

    BUT if you stop her from going by making her feel guilty about it she'll feel you dont trust her.
    Although she may agree not to go, she'll either go anyway, or she'll put on a happy face to you, but deep down she will be feeling trapped and suffocated.
    By making her feel like this your not doing yourself any favours!

    I had a boyfriend who objected to me going out of a nightime, and although I smiled sweetly and agreed i wouldnt go, I started to get more and more angry, and felt he didnt trust me, and in the end we split up!

    Really, you not wanting her to go out clubbing is your way of controlling her.

    xx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i am seeing myself as being a quiet controling person, i dont wanna be tho, but its just the way i am.i dont wanna be controlling i just feel like shes looking around for something better
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems
    i am seeing myself as being a quiet controling person, i dont wanna be tho, but its just the way i am.i dont wanna be controlling i just feel like shes looking around for something better

    Yeah it definatly does seem like your being controlling!! Dont feel like shes looking around for something better, that suggests you arent very confident else you would think that you are enough for her and wouldnt worry about her wanting better. Trust is the key part to any relationship, so you just need to have that trust and let her go have fun with her mates every once in a while. Believe me its better to let her go out and have fun, you might not like it at the time but she'll thank you for it and its better than controlling her as this could cause problems in the future.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yea it is silly :) But I dont blame you, ure just afraid..
    You should jsut talk w/ her and let her know if u havent allready...dont worry :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    So you need to be in control, that is your problem. Deal with it. Her life is her life hunny. If I was her I'd run a mile from you. Who the hell are you to try to tell her what she can and can't do?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What you are experiencing isn't unusual. It is however often a major reason for the break-up of relationships and I think you will find out that there are all sorts of people of all ages who feel like you do.

    I spent an awful long time wondering why my boyfriend didn't want to spend all his time with me which when you come to think of it is a bit of a crazy state of affairs.

    Why should your partner want to be with you ALL the time? The best relationships work when each person has their own space and friends.

    If you do trust her let her have this freedom, if she does go out with someon else then you know she was wrong for you.

    One thing you musn't do is insist on going with her because as you have said you don't want to do those things, so why put yourself through the boredom of it all just to keep up with her.

    Better to find something you like doing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Re: Re: my gf wants to go clubbin, but i dnt want her to go
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems
    and you may have got that imression beacuse i dont go clubs, well maybe its because im underage u prick

    Maybe you should've mentioned you were underage then, Mr. Interesting?

    Don't throw a tantrum at me, just get back to building that 3" anal-dildo out of Lego you've been constructing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Have you thought about going out with Aisha?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Speedo
    Have you thought about going out with Aisha?

    HEHE I like it :D

    You two would be a perfect match :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Speedo
    Have you thought about going out with Aisha?

    :D Now, now, thats not very nice is it :p
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This thread is degenerating into name calling - can we all please stop?

    KWP, you might like to read this article about jealousy:
    http://www.thesite.org/magazine/sex_and_relationships/jealousy.html
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by furry_friend
    So you need to be in control, that is your problem. Deal with it. Her life is her life hunny. If I was her I'd run a mile from you. Who the hell are you to try to tell her what she can and can't do?

    yet again your just another person who posts without thinking, i dont stop her, i have no intention to, im keeping my thoughts to myself and i want her to enjoy herself, personaly im just a bit worred, thats not a crime and i dont need people like you thinking im some control freak and a Self Righteous Prick , because i try not to be. and you dont know our relationship in and out so shut up, if she can tell me what to do and what i cant then isnt it fare for me to do that aswell.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Speedo
    Have you thought about going out with Aisha?

    Ha ha! What a good match they'd be!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems

    and you dont know our relationship in and out so shut up, if she can tell me what to do and what i cant then isnt it fare for me to do that aswell.

    Shit dude, calm down, you aren't doing yourself any favours.

    Yep, it's true that none of us here know about your relationship so we're not qualified to comment on your characteristics. On the other hand how can we help someone (if you actually want help??) who we don't know?? If you give us all the relevant details perhaps we can suggest something useful to you.

    From my POV reading through this thread it did indeed look like you were some sort of warpo control freak, which is the kinda thing that pisses me off as my sister suffered a over-controlling boyfriend for years before having the sense to dump his ass. You say you aren't so I'll believe you.

    Anyway, you can give us the big picture with details so you can get some useful advice here or we can happily slate you into the ground. As ever, it's your choice.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im not controlling and my girlfriend describes me as one of the most kindest and sweetest people shes met, An i try and please her i take her out for meals all the time, we used to spend EVERYDAY together, she likes spending time with me all the time, we have the same group of mates, its just ive never had a lasting relationship before, and i dont wanna lose my gf...i no she wouldn’t cheat on me, but i know shes very easely persuaded, im sure if i really told her i strongly object she wont go (but thats not what i want) so im keeping it to myself most of the time. i trust her, but i wouldnt trust some of her mates, i no for a fact they will try and persuade her to cheat, and im just worried. any questions.

    i can see myself being controlling because sometimes she says things or does things, and i always thing about makeing comment on it, to try and change it to improve our relationship, but i notace thats being controlling so i dont ever make the comment, but i still think it, and it still anoys me, i wouldnt say it to her because i dont want to be controling, so i just stay pissed off in my head, its a wired situation, if you understand
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems
    i trust her, but i wouldnt trust some of her mates, i no for a fact they will try and persuade her to cheat, and im just worried. any questions.

    If you trust her then what does it matter whether you trust her mates? Evidently you don't trust her if you think she will be so easily led by her friends.

    Maybe you should accept the fact that people may think you are controlling and reply politely while still standing up for yourself rather than being aggressive to them. It will only put others off of helping you.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes i think you are being silly! If she wants to go then let her, don't make her feel guilty for something that she shouldn't feel guilty for. She only wants to go out and have a good time with er mates like most people do! You can't control her life. :rolleyes:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by becky_boop
    Yes i think you are being silly! If she wants to go then let her, don't make her feel guilty for something that she shouldn't feel guilty for. She only wants to go out and have a good time with er mates like most people do! You can't control her life. :rolleyes:

    ok to put people streight AGAIN, please read all the posts i dont try and control her life pr make her feel guilty, i dont even tell her i have a problem wit it
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems


    ok to put people streight AGAIN, please read all the posts i dont try and control her life pr make her feel guilty, i dont even tell her i have a problem wit it
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems
    my gf wants to go clubbing, but i dont really want her to go...

    Oh yeh?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kid_With Problems


    ok to put people streight AGAIN, please read all the posts i dont try and control her life pr make her feel guilty, i dont even tell her i have a problem wit it

    You are trying to control her life, and it's not fair on her. Beleive it or not, she is entitled to a life outside the relationship.

    Here's an idea, why don't you let her go clubbing with her mates, and then another night you go clubbing with your mates ??

    Have a few drinks, a dance, whatever. It might loosen you up a bit, and you might come to realise that you can both have a good time with your friends, as well as having a good relationship with each other.

    One things for sure though, if you don't lose the paranoia, you wont have a relationship to be paranoid about.
Sign In or Register to comment.