Gender stereotypes

Animalloverb · February 16

I am so sick of society categorising things into genders. In my mind it's wrong. Things shouldn't be associated with gender. Especially with kids.

For example, my son loves dolls, he likes to 'care' for them, look after them, but society see that and judge my parenting, saying things like he is a boy you should let him play with those. It hurts, I am raising my son in a way that will ensure he is respectful to others as he gets older. He is just being a kid, enjoying childhood, if he wants dolls then he can.

I just don't understand why society thinks that certain things are for certain genders. It just doesn't sit right with me.

Callum · February 17

Hey @Animalloverb, it can be so frustrating when things are gender stereotyped, such as dolls. Your son should not be judged at all for liking dolls and caring for them, and you don't deserved to be judged for how you parent him, what matters the most is his happiness. As you say, you are raising your son in a way that will make sure he is respectable to others, that sounds so thoughtful of you and definitely something that will benefit him when he gets older. I'm curious, who has been judging your parenting for this specifically, if you don't mind sharing?

Animalloverb · February 17

@Callum

It's mostly just strangers and a few colleagues at work.

It's also towards clothes aswell, like they just judge the clothing I put my son in, but I let my son pick his own clothes, fair enough he is 2 years old, but I feel giving him choices helps him. He picks clothing that he likes and to me all I want is for him to be happy.

I just hate having my parenting judged just because of the way I raise my son.

Callum · February 19

Hey @Animalloverb you don't deserve to be treated that way at all, it sounds like you are keen on giving your son the choice from a young age, which is valuable for him as he grows older and has to make his own decisions. I'm hearing that you put your son's happiness above everything, and that's what matters the most. He should be happy, he deserves it.

Redemption · February 20

https://community.themix.org.uk/discussion/3608460/gender-stereotypes

@Animalloverb society is tough, I agree. People can choose what they want to be associated, hobbies or whatever, themselves and as long as its not illegal or anything like that its between themselves and people around them like your son liking dolls is between you and him and anyone else you want involved. Im sure you do a fantastic job raising your son, he can enjoy whatever he wants to enjoy. There's nothing wrong that he likes dolls, if anything its good he has something he cares about so its a good thing. I know its hard but try to ignore any negativity, you're a great mum, we all know that and I hope you know that yourself.

Animalloverb · February 20

@Redemption

Thank you.

With my son having you know complex medical needs, (some diagnosed others not been diagnosed yet) and having cancer, his dolls are his way of processing what is going on for him. He doesn't have much functional language due to having delays so he can't necessarily say if something hurts or if he is scared. I have to pick up on cues that he may be feeling that way. With his dolls he pretends to give them chemotherapy too, he shares his food with them, cuddles them, it's his way of telling himself he is okay.

He also has his obsession with cars, particularly the cars movie but he does love all cars, he sits and plays with them.

Many kids have that particular comfort item they take with them everywhere or sleep with every night, most of the time it being a stuffed animal but for my son it's his dolls. He likes to protect them like I protect him. It's just a shame society categorises toys and even clothes to be associated with particular genders. Having my parenting judge just because of these stereotypes is ridiculous, I do everything to make sure I raise my son well, make sure he is happy and will trust me. It really puts me down.

Azziman · February 21

Hey @Animalloverb, thank you for sharing this with us. It sounds like having dolls is helpful for your son, as well as interest in cars. If that's what works for him, then that sounds fine! Your and his happiness counts for more than a stray comment from a stranger, and you're doing your best to raise him.

Animalloverb · February 21

@Azziman

I do my best, it does really put me down though as all I ever want is the best for my son and when people say things it just makes me think to myself what if I am doing it all wrong.

Verity · February 21

Hey @Animalloverb it sounds like you are doing nothing wrong at all, trying to give your son an open and non judgemental childhood and enviroment is an amazing thing, but yes, that dosn't take away the frustration of societal pressures and judgements. Would you say people close to you are saying things or more society in general?

Animalloverb · 7:37AM

@Verity

It's more society In general, I don't really have anyone close to me. But yeah when I have to go to the shop or walk up to the farm and stuff with my son I get lots of people just judging my parenting, saying awful things to me about how I raise my son, it's just not nice.

Verity · 10:58AM

That sounds really heavy to carry, no one deserves to have judgemental comments thrown at them, you are trying your best from what you have shared with us, it's clear that you only want the best for your son. It's hard not to take judgements from society to heart, but you know what makes him happy and if it's dolls, there is nothing wrong with that. @Animalloverb

Gender stereotypes

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