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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? (Triggering Stuff Edition) w/c 09.02.26
Leyla
Community Manager Posts: 645 Incredible Poster
Hey Everyone! Here is this week's space to chat or vent about things which you think may be more triggering for the Community but still want to get off your chest.
Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's venting thread that isn't triggering, click here
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im so done
Hey @toffuna101 i'm hearing that you are feel frustrated or fed up, if you feel comfortable sharing what you are struggling with, we're here to listen.
idk its just that life has been so chaotic for me lately.
I'm sort of holding off talking about anything at the moment. I had talked enough about things and just shouldn't talk anymore. I don't really share much, I know it may seem like I share loads but really it's nothing much at all. I just repeat the same few things over and over again.
Talking about things should be done now, I shouldn't speak about anything anymore because it's just pointless.
Just realised I put this in the wrong one.
@Animalloverb It can be so difficult to share what's been happening, I completely understand that/ We're all here to listen and support you in whatever way we can and whatever way that looks like for you. You don't need to feel awkward or guilty for sharing, you deserve this space to talk about what's been happening.
@Callum
I appreciate it, but I can't help feeling that way. Many people would understand that I shouldn't talk anymore.
Having a rough one with flashbacks tonight
Hey @Nathan, sorry to hear that you've had a rough time lately with flashbacks. Just wanted to check in on how you're doing today? We're here to support you.
Hey @Animalloverb , I wanted to check in - how are you doing this morning? It sounds like you might have felt an urge this past week to try to stop sharing your feelings and keep things inside more - is that right? I hear you, and I wonder whether anything might have triggered that thought? I noticed you said that many people would understand that you shouldn't talk anymore, and I felt curious about this and whether someone had perhaps said this to you, or left you feeling that way? You're doing so well to share, and this space is yours just as much as every Community member. I appreciate it might be hard sometimes, and we're here to go at your own pace - there's no pressure, or pushing. Just taking things one day at a time, and finding what feels good. It sounds like this past week might have been hard, and we're thinking of you.
Hi @Nathan , thank you so much for sharing about this. That sounds frightening for you, and really overwhelming. We care about what you're going through, and are right here with you.
Thinking about the flashbacks and how they impact you, would it feel helpful to share what’s helped for you in the past, or what definitely hasn’t?
I will share below some resources which may be able to support you:
https://peerchat.link/Flashbacks_bl
https://peerchat.link/PTSDguide
https://peerchat.link/NIGHTMARES
https://www.ptsduk.org/resources-managing-flashbacks-guide/
How do these feel?
@Sian321
nobody has said anything to make me feel that way. It's just the truth. I have spoken to much, my feelings no longer matter.
family made me self harm again. safe
Hey @so_very_tired , that sounds really hard, and I hear how distressing things have been feeling with your family. Staff are going to drop you a DM now.
@Animalloverb , I hear you. That sounds so tough, and a painful feeling to hold. We're here for you on Support Thread later on if you did wish to be in that space. What is today looking like for you?
Thank you @Sian321 and @Azziman. Since i left the mental health monitoring and support place i stayed at for 5 days, away from everything for the very first time in my life, no 24/7 screeching, no rushing in to handle meltdowns, no autistic brother smearing his faeces everywhere, and me having to jump too, instantly at any moment.
The first day, i couldn't stand the sustained quiet for the very first time, i couldn't stop halting what i was doing and listening intently at any small noises and just randomly getting scared I had missed something. And health anxiety overwhelmed me on the first day, i walked home 5 miles just to use the toilet at home i'm used to, and couldn't bring myself to sleep in the bed.
Things eased a bit over days, but then when i started trying to sleep in the coach chair, with a protective barrier between me and it, i started getting flashbacks. Started processing things properly I'm guessing, as soon as i had settled in a safe, quiet, no responsibility, environment with 24/7 support on hand. So these flashbacks are pretty new.
The flashbacks include me being stuck under my uncle for a good while when i was 4, and having to be pulled from under him, after he tried to sell me to strangers. The beatings i got, so many times over and over, for all the times he was present over the years. Then watching him hit my sister once a few years later, and seeing police run in, as well as CAMHS for her, with one officer even giving a hug. All with me getting nothing as per usual.
These are the flashbacks i've had so far, of the exact moments. And each one, angers me more and more. And so last night, in my mentally flipped state, i wrote a several thousand word manifesto, about the political framework to get revenge, legally, democratically and non violent of course, on the systems who left me for dead. I have more hatred for these systems than i do for any abuser i had.
Sure it is going to be a long story but we met in work we was always together during a few weeks together I met his family we went to Poole and on the same night my families home caught on fire and I was living in hotels constantly moving around had belongings in bags and he was always with me whether that was at his the hotels or work even if he was working and I wasn’t I was with him whether that was in the break room waiting for him or if he was working on reception I would stand next to reception not that I didn’t trust him but because he wanted me there but there was times where I accused my ex of cheating due to a past relationship a few times living in the hotel but as soon as I moved in the flat it just all changed I just thought breaking up with him even though there was nothing wrong and it can back a few times and just the thoughts of being single and searching it up and said something about avoidant attachments and commitment issues and remember asking my grandad about it and he said you and my ex are young so you should be out having fun and my head just said about going out clubbing and sleeping with other people we went on a break a few times because of the single thoughts but I would always run back but it just got worse I tried going to the doctors for the thoughts and they told me to go to vitalminds and they said the couldn’t do anything as it wasn’t mental health so they told me about counselling for relationships which I did do but I couldn’t do anymore also I has thoughts of cheating which I searched up because I didn’t understand and it said to tell your partner which I did which obviously he was upset and it would go but it would come back and I couldn’t take it anymore so we broke up for the last time because I remember speaking to dad about and he said to let him go which I did but even since I’ve tried fighting for him getting him back I’ve been to all different mental health places I’ve had many suicidal attempts but he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore which breaks my heart as he was my everything
@Nathan You say it's the first time you've probably had to process everything you've gone through, now that you are safe. That can be an incredibly overwhelming and long journey having to sit with all those different emotions. Thank you for sharing all of that, I can imagine the new flashbacks and the renewed anger must feel like an enormous weight, is that right? We're here for you as work through this. Friday night sounded rough and I'm wondering, how are you managing today?
got weird side effects
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨