Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 12.01.26

Leyla · January 12

This is a space to chat or vent about whatever might be on your mind right now, nothing is too big or small!

Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's triggering stuff edition thread, click here.

Lottie5433 · January 12

I’m so anxious right now. I have another appointment with the DBT lady just to go through demographics, risk assessment, care plan and something else that I can’t remember. Once I’ve done this I should be starting the pre-treatment sessions before I decide to go for DBT fully.
I think I’m only nervous and anxious about it currently is because I’ve had a text saying the appointment is Wednesday at 12:00 and then an email with the teams link saying 9:30 on Tuesday.
I’ve got too much anxiety to phone and ask for clarification though so idk what I’m going to do

Redemption · January 12

Im worried about what i want to do in the next few years like my next steps after this

so_very_tired · January 12

I'm wasting my time doing this course.

Redemption · January 12

so_very_tired wrote: »

I'm wasting my time doing this course.

Are you able to move into something else?

Redemption · January 12

As I was saying in chat, I don't wanna go to work tomorrow its just I know i moaned about not having a job for ages and now I got one I get like this but its tough I guess you got to start somewhere though and its better than doing rubbish courses. Im gonna have to see my fuel bills too

so_very_tired · January 12

Pretty sure it's too late for me @Redemption and if I want to continue the internship I have to continue attending college as it's an internship run by the college. I just need to stop complaining because it's not as bad as my previous course.

Redemption · January 12

so_very_tired wrote: »

Pretty sure it's too late for me @Redemption and if I want to continue the internship I have to continue attending college as it's an internship run by the college. I just need to stop complaining because it's not as bad as my previous course.

You can vent as much as you need to SVT , multiple things can not be for us, Im glad its better than your last course though. I've noticed with yourself and other people’s issues I can relate a bit with your issues so Im here to talk about any issues because I know how it feels like college wasn't a smooth ride for me either.

Redemption · January 12

I know again I keep repeating myself. I’m not sure what I want to do long term tbh, which is a bit scary, but ASAP I want to get something a lot nearer to home and less on my feet. I’m just going to work out my commute costs because the fuel bills are racking up, and tbh I’m trying not to think too much about it because it’s stressing me and putting me down more. I’ve got this programme I’m seeing, which I’ve mentioned my concerns to. I think it’s a few things putting me off the job like early mornings, being the only one to go, dark winter mornings. I’m often already awake before 6am and then I have to push myself up. I knew from the start it wasn’t going to be a role I’d be passionate about, and I often don’t want to be there. I get small thoughts in my mind when doing certain tasks, and it’s definitely not where I want to be. People have said I should be proud, but I find it hard to be proud of myself on top of this. My car struggles to start in the cold and I just think I’m here with a car that struggles to start, doing cleaning etc., and it’s hard not to compare myself to people. People buying houses, got good jobs, been to uni, expensive cars, and I’m just fixing them for a living. I do think about where I’ve gone wrong and want things to improve. I think it’s important to be grateful for what I have and who I am, and I do think maybe it’s not too bad, but it’s not as simple as being grateful sometimes. Our feelings matter.

Redemption · January 12

I actually don't want to go tomorrow

Nemuritai · January 12

I had a bit of a rough day. My mental health has been more stable lately, it's just that I'm really washed out all the time. Work was also pretty hard today because of the snow, which makes it difficult working outside, but I got it done. I feel guilty since I can't be as thorough as usual with the conditions and worried that I'm being a bad employee, even though I'm aware it's partly just me overthinking things.

Redemption · January 12

Nemuritai wrote: »

I had a bit of a rough day. My mental health has been more stable lately, it's just that I'm really washed out all the time. Work was also pretty hard today because of the snow, which makes it difficult working outside, but I got it done. I feel guilty since I can't be as thorough as usual with the conditions and worried that I'm being a bad employee, even though I'm aware it's partly just me overthinking things.

Im sorry you have had a rough day but we're all here to talk anything through if you need and I'm sure you aren't a bad employee. I hope you have a good sleep an a better day tomorrow.

Nemuritai · January 12

Redemption wrote: »

Nemuritai wrote: »

I had a bit of a rough day. My mental health has been more stable lately, it's just that I'm really washed out all the time. Work was also pretty hard today because of the snow, which makes it difficult working outside, but I got it done. I feel guilty since I can't be as thorough as usual with the conditions and worried that I'm being a bad employee, even though I'm aware it's partly just me overthinking things.

Im sorry you have had a rough day but we're all here to talk anything through if you need and I'm sure you aren't a bad employee. I hope you have a good sleep an a better day tomorrow.

Thank you so much @Redemption, that means a lot. Feelings aren't something I can really talk about at home so it honestly means the world being heard and supported here. I do hope your work goes alright tomorrow as well

Redemption · January 13

Im struggling

Verity · January 13

Hey @Redemption I’m really glad you are talking about this, even if it feels like you are repeating yourself. It makes sense that not knowing what you want feels scary, especially when you feel drained from your current situation.The commute and early starts, the dark mornings and stress doesn't sound nice. Not being passionate about what you are doing doesn't mean you have failed.

I also hear how hard it is to not compare yourself to others, knowing you want things to improve shows self-awareness and a desire for change even if the next steps are not clear yet. You’re right, gratitude isn’t easy to switch on. You can appreciate what you have and still acknowledge that something isn’t working for you.

When you mention having ‘small thoughts in your mind when doing certain tasks’ at work, do you feel able to share a bit more what you mean by this? We are here to listen.

Verity · January 13

@Nemuritai That sounds exhausting, even though your mental health has been more stable lately, being constantly worn out takes a toll, especially when you’re working outside in tough conditions like snow. Just getting through a day like that takes a lot of effort and the fact that you showed up and got the work done really matters. It sounds like the working conditions weren’t normal or within your control, doing your best in these circumstances doesn't make you a bad employee. It sounds like you really care about doing things properly.

I wonder if holding yourself to a high standard of even working outside in the snow could be causing you this washed out feeling? Would you say it’s more physical or mental feeling of being washed out, if not both?

eylah · January 13

hi.

Redemption · January 13

eylah wrote: »

hi.

Hey Eylah, how's you?

Nemuritai · January 13

eylah wrote: »

hi.

Hi there eylah, hru doing?

so_very_tired · January 13

eylah wrote: »

hi.

hi

Ech0 · January 13

Hello how are you all?

so_very_tired · January 13

Ech0 wrote: »

Hello how are you all?

fine but tired and a tiny bit intoxicated.

Ech0 · January 13

@Nemuritai I hope it went okay today. I hear you, it sounds like you were dealing with a lot yesterday, and I completely understand feeling washed out and drained. The fact that you still got the work done, even if it wasn’t perfect, is very impressive and is a testament to your dedication because snowy conditions make everything much more difficult. You’re doing your best and it’s more than okay to give yourself credit for that because I am sure you aren’t a bad employee at all and the effort you are putting in matters.

so_very_tired · January 13

I got asda tommorw and i really cannot be asked to go in as i will not be getting paid at all. Hopefully they will at least have my unniform, which i have bben waitng for a good few weeks now, and maybe an emplyoee dicount would be nice as well.

Redemption · 5:33AM

Verity wrote: »

Hey @Redemption I’m really glad you are talking about this, even if it feels like you are repeating yourself. It makes sense that not knowing what you want feels scary, especially when you feel drained from your current situation.The commute and early starts, the dark mornings and stress doesn't sound nice. Not being passionate about what you are doing doesn't mean you have failed.

I also hear how hard it is to not compare yourself to others, knowing you want things to improve shows self-awareness and a desire for change even if the next steps are not clear yet. You’re right, gratitude isn’t easy to switch on. You can appreciate what you have and still acknowledge that something isn’t working for you.

When you mention having ‘small thoughts in your mind when doing certain tasks’ at work, do you feel able to share a bit more what you mean by this? We are here to listen.

Thank you @Verity I didn't explain that, I meant that I do have slight thoughts of just leaving on the spot coz some tasks are just so grim but yh Im gonna try to stay in it until I get something else as I've said, thats always been the plan. Thanks for checking up on me Verity, I always appreciate it.

Redemption · 6:06AM

I don't want to go

so_very_tired · 6:09AM

Really cannot be asked to slave away at asda today when I know my time could be better used elsewhere, I really need to stop complaining though as it isn't that bad.

Redemption · 6:15AM

so_very_tired wrote: »

Really cannot be asked to slave away at asda today when I know my time could be better used elsewhere, I really need to stop complaining though as it isn't that bad.

@so_very_tired you dont need to stop complaining, I definitely get you, like you aren't getting paid, I know it can lead to that as you've said but we deserve to get paid for our work so its understandable completely how you feel, I did volunteering at a charity shop and felt similar. Anyway you're doing a great job.

so_very_tired · 6:24AM

Thanks @Redemption, I have a feeling my sentiment would be different if I was getting paid and garanteed work after this internship as I am still pretty concred about immidently being let go after this is over. Anyway, I hope you have a good today, you deserve a damn good one.

Redemption · 6:27AM

so_very_tired wrote: »

Thanks @Redemption, I have a feeling my sentiment would be different if I was getting paid and garanteed work after this internship as I am still pretty concred about immidently being let go after this is over. Anyway, I hope you have a good today, you deserve a damn good one.

No worries and thats completely understandable @so_very_tired , it should be ok today, cheers

Redemption · 7:01AM

I took a different route and now I'm here too early lol

Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 12.01.26

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