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TW- sensitive topic, abuse.

AnimalloverbAnimalloverb Posts: 567 Incredible Poster
in Health & Wellbeing
I am just so Angry, fustrated and upset at the moment.
The way things were done was horrific, the way I was treated was horrifying. And even now, the way his release is being done is wrong and traumatic.

Comments

  • VerityVerity Community Manager Posts: 56 Boards Initiate
    edited December 13
    Hey @Animalloverb it sounds like you are going through a really difficult situation, thanks for reaching out here, it's great to know you are using the baords for support or even just to vent, we are here to listen. If you want to go into more detail please feel free, but by all means if it just feels better to put your emotions into words here, keep doing that.
  • AnimalloverbAnimalloverb Posts: 567 Incredible Poster
    I appreciate it, but I'm not sure if I should go into more detail.
  • AnimalloverbAnimalloverb Posts: 567 Incredible Poster
    I am beyond angry, I was abused and now the person who did it is getting released early, like the damage they caused has somehow expired. Like there is a return policy on trauma. I did my part, I survived, I testified, I told the truth and somehow I am still thr one serving a life sentence while they get a countdown to freedom. What makes me furious is how the system talks about this like it is paperwork. " time served", "good behaviour", "low risk". None of those words mean anything to my body when it freezes, or my brain when it spirals, or my life that was split cleanly in two (before and after) I don't get early release from fear. I Don't get parole from memories. I don't have a judge to decide I have suffered enough. The sentencing felt like the only moment where the system acknowledged what was done to me. And now even that is being walked back. It feels like the harm is being minimilised all over again but just dresses in legal language. Every year shaved off his sentence feels like the system telling me "Actually it wasn't that bad". What enrages me most is how invisible I have become once the offenders future is back on the table.Suddenly it is all about rehabilitation and second chances while I am expected to absorb the loss quietly. No one asks if I am ready for this. No one asks what it does to me to know the person who violated me will me walking free while I am still rebuilding myself from the wreckage they left behind.

    This is not justice. It is abandonment. It is a system that claims to protect victims but flinches the moment that protection becomes inconvenient. I am not asking for cruelty. I am asking for accountability that actually means something. If the sentencing doesn't reflect the lifelong impact of abuse then the system is not broken by accident, it is broken by design.
  • VerityVerity Community Manager Posts: 56 Boards Initiate
    Hey @Animalloverb what you are feelinig makes complete sense, lifelong harm can affect us in way's that is hard to put into words, but you've done such an amazinig job explaining this injustice you are feeling. You're right, you don't get time-off from trauma for 'good behavour'. No one should have to deal with the outcome of another persons violation without being ask how it affects them, I want you to know that we care and we are here to listen. Your anger at the system is justified if you feel that you have not been treated fairly, it must be so painful to feel that this sentancing does not reflect the trauma that they have caused you. Please know your voice deserves a space and even if the system fails to recognise the full weight of what was taken from you, that does not diminish your experience and the strength you have had to keep going.

    You posted this last night, but I want to check in to see how this is sitting with you today? If you don't feel like sharing, don't feel pressured. It's great that you have shared this already.
  • AnimalloverbAnimalloverb Posts: 567 Incredible Poster
    @Verity
    Sorry I have been busy. I still feel the same way.
  • Ech0Ech0 Community Connector Posts: 125 The Mix Convert
    @Animalloverb I can only imagine how intense and overwhelming everything this is feeling right now. What you went through was horrific and life-altering, and it is entirely understandable that the way the system is handling this now feels like it’s dismissing, minimising, or even erasing the pain and trauma you have endured.
    I hear your feeling that the system is failing to acknowledge the full weight of what you have experienced. No amount of legal language can reflect the reality of living with the aftermath of trauma, and it is understandable that these words might feel cold, empty and even hurtful. Your experience and your suffering cannot be measured on a timeline, and no system can ever truly account for the lifelong impact of what was done to you. Feeling abandoned in this way, like your pain is inconvenient or secondary, is deeply isolating, and it makes sense that you would feel enraged and hurt by the lack of attention given to how this affects you.

    You deserve to have a space where your voice is heard, where your anger, your fear, and your grief are respected. Wee are here to listen, to support, and to stand with you as you navigate these feelings. You are not alone and your feelings, your story and your truth all matter deeply.
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 3,132 Boards Guru
    @Animalloverb thank you so much for sharing. Your feelings are completely valid, and I really hear how deeply infuriating and traumatizing this is feeling. It sounds like you’ve had a lot going on too, so I can imagine it's very overwhelming to have everything compound like this, especially with the upcoming holidays. How are you today?

    We’re always here to listen if you’d like to share more, and I was also wondering what kind of support is around you in person lately? Are there people around you that know the ways in which you're struggling? I wonder too how this has been feeling in the context of parenting? Mindful of all that you're holding right now, and we're here alongside you.
  • AnimalloverbAnimalloverb Posts: 567 Incredible Poster
    edited 5:50PM
    @Sian321
    I have had such a busy day today so far, and I still have a few more things to do today this is literally the only short breather I have had today so far.

    I have absolutely no support in person at the moment.
    And as for parenting, I will say I am doing a better job than I thought I would be. He is struggling quite a bit but his treatment seems to be doing the trick, he has been really exhausted lately though and spending a lot of time sleeping. It will be his first Christmas not in hospital so that is exciting, he is looking forward to Christmas, I am feeling rather overwhelmed about it so I will try and make it a wonderful experience for him while also taking it easy.
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