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Breakup

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Comments

  • VerityVerity Community Manager Posts: 342 The Mix Regular
    edited December 2025
    Hey @LolaPumpkin13 It's great to hear that you spoke with Shout but it's a shame you felt that you weren't being listened to. Do you know if you felt this way because you weren't getting a response or maybe you felt you were heard but not understood?
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    Probably not understood
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I just don’t want to go through the pain anymore
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    Even in the relationship I went to doctors they told me to to go to vitalminds I did and I got told because it isn’t depression or anxiety they can’t help but told me to go to heart to hear counselling which I did but now I’m here by myself
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    i cant forget like nothing happened
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    i broke up with him because of the thoughts and to get help with the thoughts but i havent got the help
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I’ve asked for help but nothing
  • VerityVerity Community Manager Posts: 342 The Mix Regular
    Hey @LolaPumpkin13 I can see you have been struggling over the past few days, it's great that you are using the community for support, we are here for you and you are not alone. You mentioned you tried heart to hear counselling, if you don't mind sharing, how did that go?
  • Sian321Sian321 Community Manager Posts: 3,778 Community Veteran
    Hey @LolaPumpkin13 , I just wanted to post here to say that it sounds extremely tough coping with these thoughts, and you're doing so well to keep reaching out for help. I get the sense that these last few weeks have felt very isolating for you - you're trying to get help, but don't feel listened to or heard. Did you have your first counselling session? That sounds like a potential positive step, and I really hope you can find that 1:1 support you're looking for very soon.

    When the thoughts get loud in your mind, what kind of things do they say?

    We're listening, and thank you again for your trust in opening up about this.
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I’m just kind of reflecting the situation and what happened and just wondering we that happen again
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I want to move on but I don’t at the same time
  • VerityVerity Community Manager Posts: 342 The Mix Regular
    edited December 2025
    Hey @LolaPumpkin13 it's great that you are taking time to reflect, this is a really important part of navigating a breakup, especially while emotions are still fresh. Do you feel it has gotten easier or harder to manage how you feel? you mentioned you do/don't want to move on, it is completely normal to feel this way when you still might be emotionally attached to someone but no longer together, you are not alone in this, what's best is the outcome that is healthy for both of you, one of the hardest parts of realationships is knowing when is best to say goodbye.
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I think because I’ve been called many so many things it has made me doubt myself and so much happened that I don’t want it to happen again and just trusting someone with everything again
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I’m just so tired
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I just feel like you can’t get the help especially the ones who are trying to take accountability
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I’m just so tired
  • VerityVerity Community Manager Posts: 342 The Mix Regular
    Hey @LolaPumpkin13 it's understandable that being called things that may be hurtful can leave you doubting yourself, I'm sorry you went through this. Even when you are trying to reflect or grow, self doubt can creep in when peopele have used hurtful or negagtive words to describe your character, especially when you feel emotionally drained, but those words don't need to be who you are.

    I understand that you want to protect yourself from going through something like this again. Trust isn't something we can rush or force, it' okay if that feels frightening right now. Hesitatinig to 'move on' can just mean you have learned something about how deeply you can be affected. It sounds like you are carrying a lot of emotions, this can be really tireing, it's a lot to handle for anyone.

    When you say you 'can't get the help especially the ones who are trying to take accountability' do you mean you don't feel that you are getting the support you need?
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    Yh I don’t think I’m getting the support I need
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I’m just in the middle of thinking do I want to move on or am I too scared as the things that happened
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I just don’t understand any of it like and I don’t want to be anyone through it again or put myself through it again
  • VerityVerity Community Manager Posts: 342 The Mix Regular
    Hey @LolaPumpkin13 thank you for sharing how you are feeling today, I'm sorry you are struggling with this and we would love offer you support. It sounds like you are trying to understand more about the emotions you are you experiencing during this breakup. Can I ask, have you ever experienced a similiar kind of anxiety with other relationships in your life?

    You mentioned you don't feel like you are getting the support you need. I've popped you a DM so we can hopefully give you more infomation.
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I care very deeply about him but he doesn’t about me anymore I’ve tried many things to get help
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I’m just so down all the time and I try to move on but I just think of everything that has has happened and has been said to me
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I’m jus to tired of feeling like this but I’ve no help and everyone in my family is tired of it but what about and how I’m hurt
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    Imagine being called controlling manipulative emotionally abusive abusive
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    And no help what so ever
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I don’t think anyone understands
  • VerityVerity Community Manager Posts: 342 The Mix Regular
    Hey @LolaPumpkin13 I hear you and I understand how difficult this is for you, it must be really difficult to have someone who you care so deeply about to be removed from your life, and feel that they don't want to be apart of it. I can imagine it must be so difficult to hear those things being said about you, especially from someone who you care so deeply about. This feeling won't last forever and we are here to give you the support that we can give, how are you feeling today? I just wanted to ask if you speak to this person often?
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    No I don’t him and his family refuses to speak to me and I’ve been called many things which has affected me massively
  • LolaPumpkin13LolaPumpkin13 Posts: 485 Listening Ear
    I’m just suicidal most of the time I don’t know who I am anymore
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