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TW- Death

DancerDancer Community Connector Posts: 8,175 Legendary Poster
in Health & Wellbeing
I have been struggling with my grief. Not only did my mum pass away suddenly last June but I have also recently suffered another loss. Someone who was like family to me passed away at the beginning of November. She had terminal cancer and ended up in a hospice. I knew that she was never going to get better and the cancer would eventually kill her but it felt quite quick with the deterioration. She was a woman that was stubborn and she wanted to go to the south of France (but sadly didn`t get to.) Her funeral is coming up in a few weeks. I have been talking to my therapist about my feelings about everything and she feels that it might be a bit too soon for me to go to another funeral although she has suggested maybe going to the wake afterwards if I feel up to it. I have been struggling with my PTSD quite a bit and I had a flashback during my therapy session and then started crying. Things weigh down on me a lot and I have sometimes had some not very nice thoughts but at least I am trying to get better. I go to therapy. I take antidepressants. I try to get out of the house.
"There's a part of me I can't get back. A little girl grew up too fast. All it took was once. I'll never be the same." ~ Demi Lovato
"The way that I have found the light in my life is through the expressive arts because I know that I will be accepted for the way I am." ~ Me
"I'm going to get strong again and see you soon. " ~ Anonymous 

Comments

  • AzzimanAzziman Discussion Boards Moderator Posts: 2,469 Boards Champion

    Hey @Dancer, thank you for sharing your experience with us. I'm sorry to hear that you've experienced losing another person who you were close to. Your feelings are valid - even when we know someone's days may be numbered, it still carries a lot of pain when we lose them. It's good to hear that you've got the support of a therapist to help you navigate this, though I can hear how PTSD and flashbacks can be difficult to go through. How do you feel about going to the funeral or wake, in your own opinion? We're here to listen to you and support you through this.

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  • 63marie63marie Posts: 93 Budding Regular
    Hey @Dancer, sorry for the late reply. Thank you for opening up about this, it sounds like you've been dealing with a lot and it's totally valid that you're struggling. It sounds like you're trying really hard to keep doing all the things you're doing, even if they feel really hard. I'm glad you've got your therapist to support you. How do you feel about what she suggested? It's really important that you look after yourself and only do what feels manageable for you. Whatever you decide doesn't change how much they meant to you.
    I'm really sorry to hear that you've been struggling with your PTSD too, that sounds really frightening. You deserve support to help you deal with this - I'm glad you've got someone you can talk to. We're always here too if you ever need someone to listen. You're doing the best you can in a really tough time <3
  • Amy22Amy22 Posts: 5,618 Part of The Furniture
    Dancer wrote: »
    I have been struggling with my grief. Not only did my mum pass away suddenly last June but I have also recently suffered another loss. Someone who was like family to me passed away at the beginning of November. She had terminal cancer and ended up in a hospice. I knew that she was never going to get better and the cancer would eventually kill her but it felt quite quick with the deterioration. She was a woman that was stubborn and she wanted to go to the south of France (but sadly didn`t get to.) Her funeral is coming up in a few weeks. I have been talking to my therapist about my feelings about everything and she feels that it might be a bit too soon for me to go to another funeral although she has suggested maybe going to the wake afterwards if I feel up to it. I have been struggling with my PTSD quite a bit and I had a flashback during my therapy session and then started crying. Things weigh down on me a lot and I have sometimes had some not very nice thoughts but at least I am trying to get better. I go to therapy. I take antidepressants. I try to get out of the house.

    I'm so sorry to hear this @Dancer. From what I've read I can imagine the amount of grief you are dealing with right now not only that but with so much going on in your life too. It sounds like you've also had some PTSD flashbacks as well and I can imagine how scary that must feel as well especially when processing grief or loss.

    It sounds like you were very close to the lady you met as well and I bet she was a lovely lady as well. I'm always here if you need anything or need to chat <3.

    Just a person who likes pop culture and films
  • Ech0Ech0 Posts: 105 The Mix Convert
    @Dancer I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been going through. Losing your mum so suddenly, and then someone else who was like family to you so soon after, is an incredibly heavy burden to carry. I hear that you’ve had some PTSD flashbacks too, and I can only imagine how frightening that must feel. Please know that we are here with you and you don’t have to carry it all by yourself. We are here to listen, to support, and to hold space for you in whatever way you need.

    It’s important to acknowledge the courage it takes to keep showing up for yourself. Going to therapy, taking your medication, trying to get out of the house are all huge steps, especially when things feel so difficult. That shows strength and self-compassion, even if it might not always feel that way and we are proud of you for that.

    When it comes to the funeral, it’s okay to follow what feels right for you. Attending the wake or participating in any way that you feel able is already more than enough, and it’s perfectly okay to take care of your emotional wellbeing first.

    We are here for you, and we see the effort and bravery it takes to keep moving forward, even in small steps. It’s okay to take all the time you need.
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