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I messed up (plz respond)
TBQ_9
Posts: 6 Confirmed not a robot
Okay, it's a long one, but I'll try keep it short.
So, talking to a girl, honestly, I don't remember where we met. I think it was a dating app, but we had each other on Snapchat for a little while and only the last few weeks we've got a lot closer. We've met up, had a couple dates, kissed, you get the gist. But I've messed everything up. She always thinks I'm lying to her. I don't know if it's because I've never had a proper relationship before so maybe she thinks I don't know what I'm doing. I wanna fix it, but I feel like everytime I just make it worse. She's said if we don't work out romantically we can still be friends, but I don't feel like that right now. I would be friends with her, but I wanna be more than that.
I'm so bad with communication, I have a close friend who I've been telling everything to, but I think this is the reason it's going so bad, and I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about this relationship, but then it clicked and I'm like, just talk to her. If I'm talking about her why don't I just talk to her, and she knows I'm bad with communication and I hate it. It's like I just can't verbalise my thoughts because it doesn't always come easily to me (I'm autistic so...) and I actually hate how much I've hurt her. She constantly says I haven't hurt her but I have. I've been such a bad person and it's gonna be my fault if it doesn't work out.
It's like I keep searching for other people's approval, but I don't know why because I don't care what other people think. Even my best friend has said there's red flags, but I don't care, like I can figure that out for myself. I was planning on asking her to be my girlfriend which I didn't think she would accept, but now she definitely won't.
I know I'm the only one who can fix this and maybe again I'm trying to search for other people's validation which is hard because people don't know the whole situation, I just have so many feelings for this girl. Like okay, I've never been official with anyone, I've had feelings before, but never like this. She's different.
Anyways, replies are greatly appreciated. Love you all
So, talking to a girl, honestly, I don't remember where we met. I think it was a dating app, but we had each other on Snapchat for a little while and only the last few weeks we've got a lot closer. We've met up, had a couple dates, kissed, you get the gist. But I've messed everything up. She always thinks I'm lying to her. I don't know if it's because I've never had a proper relationship before so maybe she thinks I don't know what I'm doing. I wanna fix it, but I feel like everytime I just make it worse. She's said if we don't work out romantically we can still be friends, but I don't feel like that right now. I would be friends with her, but I wanna be more than that.
I'm so bad with communication, I have a close friend who I've been telling everything to, but I think this is the reason it's going so bad, and I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to about this relationship, but then it clicked and I'm like, just talk to her. If I'm talking about her why don't I just talk to her, and she knows I'm bad with communication and I hate it. It's like I just can't verbalise my thoughts because it doesn't always come easily to me (I'm autistic so...) and I actually hate how much I've hurt her. She constantly says I haven't hurt her but I have. I've been such a bad person and it's gonna be my fault if it doesn't work out.
It's like I keep searching for other people's approval, but I don't know why because I don't care what other people think. Even my best friend has said there's red flags, but I don't care, like I can figure that out for myself. I was planning on asking her to be my girlfriend which I didn't think she would accept, but now she definitely won't.
I know I'm the only one who can fix this and maybe again I'm trying to search for other people's validation which is hard because people don't know the whole situation, I just have so many feelings for this girl. Like okay, I've never been official with anyone, I've had feelings before, but never like this. She's different.
Anyways, replies are greatly appreciated. Love you all
3
Comments
You mention being bad at communication and verbalising thoughts, though you've been speaking to your close friend about your relationship, so it sounds like you are able to talk about the relationship, but perhaps not directly with the girl. It's good to have someone to talk to about the relationship as it can give an outside perspective, but it's also important to value your own judgement. Are there any particular topics relating to the relationship where you feel comfortable talking to your close friend about this, but not with the girl? And if so, why do you think this might be?
It's a small point, but your best friend has mentioned red flags. Out of interest, what things have they mentioned here? Between always needing other peoples' approval and not caring what people think, there is a happy middle-ground where you're comfortable not to need others' approval but can take on board their opinion when they might have a different perspective.
You've mentioned that you've tried to fix things but have made it worse, and that you feel you've hurt this girl despite them saying you haven't. What gives you the impression that you've made this worse and hurt the girl, if they say you haven't? It sounds like you'd ideally like to pursue a relationship as you care for this girl. We're here to listen to you through this.