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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 03.11.25
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I really hear what you're saying about wanting to avoid thinking about everything, and how you can almost feel your brain trying to 'trick' you into believing that everything is fine, when another part of you knows your not really fine. In that sense, that urge not to talk about things sounds protective almost, like it's trying maybe to keep you 'safe' from the kinds of feelings that you might get in touch with if you did begin thinking about it more, or really let yourself sit with the memory of some of what's happened?
I hear you, and you're doing so well to get curious about this and to notice. Shutting down or blocking out like that sounds like its been a strategy that's been vital to coping and surviving at different points throughout your life, and that's so valid. And at the same time, I hear you saying that there gets to be a point where everything is 'too much' and then that coping strategy almost breaks down in a way. Would that be fair to say? I can imagine those moments potentially feeling really, really overwhelming - like water breaking through a dam. And it's valid that you're almost bracing yourself against that 'can of worms' that could explode out if you give some of your feelings a bit more space to be heard.
I'm wondering, if you were to have a conversation with a support-worker / counsellor etc, how might it feel to share with them, 'I want to give this a try, but I'm also kind of terrified about opening a can of worms here!' I wonder if a counsellor might be able to support you in opening up at a pace that feels right and safe for you, even slowing down the process if they sense that going 'deep' straight away isn't conducive. You deserve to feel in the driver's seat the whole time.
I'm also thinking, when you picture that can of worms being opened, what are some of the different things you imagine you might need to return to a feeling of safety again, e.g. maybe you might need to schedule in some cuddle time with Theo, or perhaps you might need to schedule in a cosy tele night to watch some of your favorite shows and allow your brain to rest?
It can't be underestimated just how much courage you're showing by posting and talking here too @independent_ ! That feels like such a positive step!
Thank you for sharing this. That sounds really hard and potentially quite conflicting too to feel totally exhausted on the one hand, but then have that gnawing guilt telling you you should have done more yesterday. Trying not to be hard on yourself sounds like a really positive step - getting in touch with some more compassion for yourself, what you're going through, and how you're craving rest maybe. When you're most exhausted, what are some of the things that feel nourishing and nice? We're here with you to listen
i dont know
hey @Sian321 . thankyou so so much for replying to me it’s rly thoughtful of you to reply to me in such a thoughtful way.
i don’t feel like i deserve to be cared for or cared abt so i find it rly hard to feel like i am cared abt by other ppl. i’m not sure exactly why that is but i have been thinking this for a long while and it’s rly exhausting feeling this 24/7. you’re right yes sian. thankyou
i don’t know exactly why i feel like i don’t deserve to be cared for or abt but i feel it every day and it gets rly tiring. bc i want to feel cared for but i can never feel it and it is rly difficult to feel it. but i would love to be able to feel it some day bc maybe it would help with feeling so shit abt myself. i have felt like this since my mum passed away. bc i was cared for by her but bc of her alcohol issues and then her passing away i didn’t feel cared for. but then my dad wasn’t caring towards me so it made everything 10x worse.
falling apart for me sian is how my life is atm. i feel like i have nothing to wake up for? if that makes sense. i have so many dark days at the moment but i went to see my psychiatrist yesterday and she’s put me back on the anti-psychotic medication i was on before. but it’s a living hell. my mind is a living hell. but i am going to see if this medication makes me feel better. bc when i was sectioned earlier this year i was feeling like this and then i was put on this medication again but it is rly helpful. so hopefully 🤞🏼.
thankyou @Sian321 . you rly are so supportive of me. i appreciate you replying to me and then i can open up abt my life atm. but thankyou so much
I was pretty worked up last night with everything @Sian321 but I think Im better this morning, everything is going to be alright. I think to care I might reach out later, unfortunately can’t now and less services open but a couple open. Thanks a lot Sian
Hi there @Sian321, sorry for the late reply. I kind of broke down this morning and I'm still really struggling but I'm doing a bit better now. I really appreciate your kind and considerate replies, and you're so incredibly supportive with everyone, even when we're struggling. That means a lot.
To answer your question, even though self care is difficult when I feel this way, some things that feel really comforting are stretching, listening to music that I really like, reaching out here, and especially warm mugs of coffee and rom-com anime lol
It's kind of unrelated but I would really love to know who the dog in your profile picture is, if it's not too personal. It honestly cheers me up a bit every time I see it.
@eylah - I'm sorry you're feeling this way, and about everything you said earlier as well. I didn't know how hard things were for you. I truly wish I could help, but I've honestly been feeling the same way recently. All I can say is that I hear you, and if you'd like to talk, I'm more than happy to listen
Im sorry I couldn't talk last night, I was just going to sleep when I saw this
thats ok
I hope you're ok now
im ok thanks
Hi there! I missed this since I was studying kanji lol
(The bit where its gone weird is me saying i was being sarcastic i was just joking)
@Cutelivejazz she seems rude like its important our friends are respectful to us, better to have less friends than more who are rude. Its ok not to be interested but they should be more polite. Im sorry she spoke to you like that
Hey Eylah, how's you?
No you're not, dont worry @Cutelivejazz
hey i’m ok. hru?
@Redemption im really sorry for asking this but i cant tell if your annoyed and trying to be polite or if your genuinely not annoyed. Have I done/said smth wrong?
@Cutelivejazz no I'm not annoyed with you at all , I think you're overthinking, which I understand but I offered to talk after the chat so Im here for a while to talk. You've never done or said anything wrong, I promise
Hey, sorry I'm a little late. I'm glad to hear you're okay