Why do some workers upset me and it stays with me..

Invisible_me · October 14

Why is it is get upset easily by some actions of other workers and it stays with me!
Shuft recently, I was shaky but didn't like say. None of my 2 'go to' managerd were in. The other one didn't chevk in with me.
So like shaked inside, hunched up, wet to toilets to cry let it out. Came out hunched up again on desk, put head on desk one for the worker said "name not with it today", said "not today, yet". Then I asked a question on bumble bee breathing (it was on my catch up notes). So tge worker decided to 'buzz' so close to me felt like in ear but I'm sensitive to space. Told her "stop', carried on, "no, stop' carried on the said "no stop dont do this to me" then did she stop. Then said "yeah (name) not with it).
It sent like a vibration down me. Felt so uncomfortable...
This is a 3rd instance , different workers, and its playing on me...
U spoke to my manager 2 weeks later after both of those instances and he was nice and told me to keep reporting things if need to but I feel like a nuisance. Also i kinda dealt with it after and seemed "happier" but its still in my head

Azziman · October 18

Hi @Invisible_me, sorry to hear that you're feeling upset about the actions of other workers. Someone has done something that upsets you, and you've done the right thing to ask them to stop, and they've carried on doing it - it's not kind, and your feelings are valid. It seems reasonable to keep reporting this to your manager so they're aware of the situation and can support you. You mention it's different workers who are upsetting you - are they all doing the same thing, or is it different things that they're doing to upset you? We're here to listen to you.

Invisible_me · October 19

Hi @Azziman thanks for reply. I was thinking about talking to manager thurs but I had a bad shift in being very unsettled his response to this wasn't as supportive, he essentially just left me to struggle alone he didn't really check in with me. I had to say can we talk but he didn't really support in facilitating that so just left it. Like my probation is so near ending and id rather not give them another reason to fail me. Also I ended up saying Outloud by accident as like I was overwhelmed, I was fustrated thanking it and it just came out quietlu oh your useless, you dont respond and I thibk he hesrd it as he kept justifying his actions afterwards so....I didn't mean to. Sorry..

Invisible_me · November 2

Im actually crying...
One of the collegues by accident, hit me with door as she opened it and i was behind it pitting stuffbehind. . she said "sorry ", but then said "yeah your the only person that can fit behind the door, your that small and you'll break easily as well"... we laughed it off but its hit me, im actually crying 😢!!now. It hurt. 2 managers were right therr none of them asked if I was okay?

The manager on shift keot ignoring me I felt today, didn't say much. Ignored my messagee on what would you like me to do. I h a f to ask for permission 3 times to go for a breather ive been told that everyone's been made aware that if I ask to go they allow me. Literally makes me feel so not good enough!!

Invisible_me · November 5

Invisible_me wrote: »

Im actually crying...
One of the collegues by accident, hit me with door as she opened it and i was behind it pitting stuffbehind. . she said "sorry ", but then said "yeah your the only person that can fit behind the door, your that small and you'll break easily as well"... we laughed it off but its hit me, im actually crying 😢!!now. It hurt. 2 managers were right therr none of them asked if I was okay?

The manager on shift keot ignoring me I felt today, didn't say much. Ignored my messagee on what would you like me to do. I h a f to ask for permission 3 times to go for a breather ive been told that everyone's been made aware that if I ask to go they allow me. Literally makes me feel so not good enough!!

Ive spent 3 hours crying over This! I actually dont even want to go into work tomorrow because of this!!

Sian321 · November 6

@Invisible_me , thank you so much for sharing this. How are you doing today? I wanted to check in because it sounds like your shift on the 5th was really, really upsetting, and you were hurt both by the door and then your colleagues comments and the fact they didn't check up on you too. To feel ignored like that sounds like it could have been so disappointing too, particularly when you're struggling in plain sight but no one seems to be recognizing that. We hear you and we see you.

You mentioned that it left you feeling as though you're not good enough, and that sounds like such a painful feeling to have. What makes you feel like you're not good enough at the moment? We're here to listen if you would like to talk about this further.

You said that you really didn't want to go back into work yesterday because of what happened, and I really hear how disruptive this has been. What was yesterday like in the end?

Invisible_me · November 8

Sian321 wrote: »

@Invisible_me , thank you so much for sharing this. How are you doing today? I wanted to check in because it sounds like your shift on the 5th was really, really upsetting, and you were hurt both by the door and then your colleagues comments and the fact they didn't check up on you too. To feel ignored like that sounds like it could have been so disappointing too, particularly when you're struggling in plain sight but no one seems to be recognizing that. We hear you and we see you.

You mentioned that it left you feeling as though you're not good enough, and that sounds like such a painful feeling to have. What makes you feel like you're not good enough at the moment? We're here to listen if you would like to talk about this further.

You said that you really didn't want to go back into work yesterday because of what happened, and I really hear how disruptive this has been. What was yesterday like in the end?

Hi @Sian321 .

Nice to hesr from you, been a while.

That shift was last Saturday amd not been since. I was supposed to go thurs but that alongside fireworks had overwhelmed me so didn't go. My messagee didn't send. I fell asleep. They got concerned and phoned mum..
I emailed in yesterday to apologise and say whilst I didn't come in because I was very anxious about coming in "the fireworks and things that happened prev shift, which i domt want to go into now by email, really hit me and overwhelmed me, ".
She's barely acknowledged in her reply. Said we were concerned from not hearing about you and not hearing from you worries us and doesn't help us plan service wise". She said "let me know your availability to hsve meeting with myself, you and (ny managers name) beforeyour probation". Im not having a 3 way meeting! Thats far too anxiety provoking. All I want is a chat with someone, perhaps my manager, so it can be face to face and I can tell him what happened on shift and how i feel! I could speak to service manager as well but ive spoken to my manager before and his bern reassuring when these things hsve happened so I van predict hos response.

Im scared theyre going to kick me out! Fail my probation when ive met targets. I don't want to lose my job! They need to know whst happened so they can understand why I haven't come in.

Sian321 · November 8

Hey @Invisible_me , thank you for this post. How are you doing this afternoon? That sounds so difficult and conflicting, and I really hear how you just want the opportunity to explain what happened on that shift, how it impacted you, and why coming into work didn't feel possible the next day. It sounds like the thought of a 3-way meeting feels really anxiety-inducing, and you'd prefer a 1:1 conversation - is that right? I wonder how yesterday went, and when you might next be able to speak with management?

It sounds like things have been stressful lately, @Invisible_me , and I also wonder how you've been able to take care of yourself outside of work?

Thank you so much for opening up in this way.

Invisible_me · November 8

Hi @Sian321
I domt work there all days, only about 1-2 days a week (im sessional).
I do want the chance to say it but in a space that feels comfortable enough to do and dont want to be judged.
The 3 way meeting is stressing me out me (who is small) with grown adults, managers) no! It'll be too much for me to process as well. A 121 meeting feels more relaxing. And less fear of being judged. Id prefer that. Im so scared.. I dont even know why she wants a 3 way meeting, what for?? Are they kicking me out!!

Ive not been in since. Im due in Thursday.
I dont even know how to respond bavk...

Invisible_me · November 12

Invisible_me wrote: »

Im actually crying...
One of the collegues by accident, hit me with door as she opened it and i was behind it pitting stuffbehind. . she said "sorry ", but then said "yeah your the only person that can fit behind the door, your that small and you'll break easily as well"... we laughed it off but its hit me, im actually crying 😢!!now. It hurt. 2 managers were right therr none of them asked if I was okay?

The manager on shift keot ignoring me I felt today, didn't say much. Ignored my messagee on what would you like me to do. I h a f to ask for permission 3 times to go for a breather ive been told that everyone's been made aware that if I ask to go they allow me. Literally makes me feel so not good enough!!

This is still playing on my head! In the emails to service mamagerz mamager ive out things from last shift have upset me but not one has acknowledged that part of the email to say, if you want to talk aiut it then you can... literally thats all I wanted to hear. Ive got a.meetinh with service mamaber next week as she wants to have a chat with me to see if the workplace is a right environment to work on for me.... nothing excuses those comments!."your that thin you could break" 3x. That manager didn't let me go on timeout, felt ignored and shes the one on shift from next week.

I kinda feel forced to go in tomorrow without the underlying anxiety beeing addressed. Only thing is my mamager is in tomorrow (which he wasn't in last week) which is a bit reassuring, he said he'll meet me at entrance after I asked... if i feel.able to i want/need to try and speak to him about happened.but its whether I should?? How can I ask him?? Will it be used against me in probation??
I dont feels comfortable talking to service manager aboit the incident.

Why do some workers upset me and it stays with me..

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