Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 03.11.25

Leyla · November 3

This is a space to chat or vent about whatever might be on your mind right now, nothing is too big or small!

Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's triggering stuff edition thread, click here.

Leyla · November 3

From @mai from the last thread before it closed:

i’m supposed to be at college today but i basically didn’t sleep because i was feeling so anxious about going back after half term. i missed the monday before half term too. im probably going to end up being told i can’t continue studying because my attendance is rly bad. i hate me.

independent_ · November 3

@Mai I’m sorry to hear you had such a tough night. I used to hate going back after a break from school or college so I can 100% understand that anxiety.

I’m just wondering if you have any support from college at all? One thing I wish I’d done, instead of dropping out, was at least asked for help from them. If they pull you up about your attendance, it might help them to understand that it’s because of mental health, and they might be able to offer you a bit more support with things if you felt you needed it?

so_very_tired · November 3

@mai I find it ironic that you decided to not go into college when your support to be going in and I went into college when I didn't need to.
Anyway, just do @independent_ recommends. Go to student welfare, or whatever the support at your college is called, and try to get some support in college and they might become more bareable for you in time.

River · November 3

I managed to miss the bus 💀 I slept in on the first day back to college

so_very_tired · November 3

River wrote: »

I managed to miss the bus 💀 I slept in on the first day back to college

And somehow I managed to go in on a day I wasn't suppost to go in. Which one do you think is worse?

mai · November 3

so_very_tired wrote: »

@mai I find it ironic that you decided to not go into college when your support to be going in and I went into college when I didn't need to.
Anyway, just do @independent_ recommends. Go to student welfare, or whatever the support at your college is called, and try to get some support in college and they might become more bareable for you in time.

i find it ironic that you have decided to make this comment when you know very little about my situation, if you knew why i didn’t go into college then maybe you would understand. yes i am supposed to be in college today but i have very valid reasoning to have not went to class. your situation with regards to college is your situation, and mine, well that is my situation. i don’t understand why you even feel like the need to make such a comparison to begin with.

no offence @so_very_tired but this isn’t the first rude comment i’ve had from you so i will no longer be engaging with you on here or in chats as i find you are very disrespectful towards others. i rly hope that you can learn from these things and become more compassionate towards others here, no one deserves to be disrespected or to receive rude comments from other members. there are several things that you have said which definitely could have been worded in a much better and supportive way. any further comments or message from you here or in chats, i will not be responding to.

Amy22 · November 3

@Mai I'm also sorry to hear you've been feeling this way recently especially I know you mentioned about feeling anxious going into college again after the half term. I know the feeling and the build up of going back can feel that. I wonder like @independent_ and @so_very_tired mentioned above if you could speak to student welfare or whether there is student support in the college you can go to to have a chat about your wellbeing currently. You could also approach your tutor about it if you felt comfortable in doing so as they could also refer to student wellbeing

. I'm always here if you wanna chat as well .

River · November 3

@so_very_tired well that’s not very supportive, congrats on going in, we are different no need to be like that

mai · November 3

so_very_tired wrote: »

River wrote: »

I managed to miss the bus 💀 I slept in on the first day back to college

And somehow I managed to go in on a day I wasn't suppost to go in. Which one do you think is worse?

again, i don’t understand why you feel the need to make comparisons? @River simply shared how they slept in on the first day back at college and therefore missed the bus. if you don’t have anything nice to say, just simply don’t say anything?

mai · November 3

could @TheMix maybe look at this thread pls as the disrespect, judgement, unhelpful comparisons etc are rly unnecessary. it’s meant to be a supportive community.

eylah · November 3

i don’t think it’s right of you to be saying these things @so_very_tired . everyone has different things going on in their lives and i don’t think it’s very supportive of you to make such harsh comments.

eylah · November 3

so_very_tired wrote: »

@mai I find it ironic that you decided to not go into college when your support to be going in and I went into college when I didn't need to.
Anyway, just do @independent_ recommends. Go to student welfare, or whatever the support at your college is called, and try to get some support in college and they might become more bareable for you in time.

that’s just plain wrong. nothing is ‘ironic’ if @mai is struggling with college and is having a difficult time they’re allowed to be worried abt going back to college etc. this is just rly rude of you to make such a comment abt this. i don’t think it’s right. i would maybe think abt what you’re saying to someone before posting it bc this is just rude.

independent_ · November 3

Comparisons are really not healthy in a place like this imo, as everyone has their own unique struggles and things going on for them.

@Mai, @River and others, I’m right here if you guys want to talk anymore about what’s going on for you

eylah · November 3

so_very_tired wrote: »

River wrote: »

I managed to miss the bus 💀 I slept in on the first day back to college

And somehow I managed to go in on a day I wasn't suppost to go in. Which one do you think is worse?

you might of ‘went in’ into college but it doesn’t mean you can be rude abt it. none are ‘worse’ then the other. we all are allowed to have our issues and @River is allowed to share what is going on for them. your comment is rly not supportive of them and i would think abt what you’re saying to other community members before you post them.

mai · November 3

thank you @independent_ @Amy22 @eylah i rly appreciate it💙

eylah · November 3

@Leyla @Katie @TheMix ( gd point @mai )

so_very_tired · November 3

I'm going to make this quick because I know @mai isnt going to read this but screw it. Sorry @mai for making you feel like I am being rude and unsupportive towards you. I am really fucking shit at giving advice and I really should of used this thread to just vent about my problems and my shitty life instead of trying to help you and others just to end uo making making everyonefeel worse in the process. Also sorry for anyone else I hurt as well.

eylah · November 3

hey @River and @mai . i just wanted to say im so sry you two had to deal with someone being nasty towards you both. you both deserve to feel like you can talk abt what is bothering you without feeling like you can’t. i just wanted to say i am here for you both bc you are deserving of being listened to and heard. and no one even should make you feel like you can’t open up abt anything that is bothering you. pls don’t feel like you can’t open up here on this thread or anywhere on the community bc you can i hope that certain user is dealt with bc it’s not ok how they responded to you both and how they are responding to ppl. i hope you’re both ok! im here throughout the day so pls feel free to tag me so i can support you both ( and others )

mai · November 3

@so_very_tired i understand you saying that you are trying to be supportive and are bad at giving advice but at the end of the day, i personally don’t think that’s an excuse to completely disrespect others and compare their situations to your own. it’s not the first time. it still doesn’t change the fact i will no longer be responding after this comment as i do feel hurt by the disrespect ive been given.

eylah · November 3

so_very_tired wrote: »

I'm going to make this quick because I know @mai isnt going to read this but screw it. Sorry @mai for making you feel like I am being rude and unsupportive towards you. I am really fucking shit at giving advice and I really should of used this thread to just vent about my problems and my shitty life instead of trying to help you and others just to end uo making making everyonefeel worse in the process. Also sorry for anyone else I hurt as well.

even if you’re bad at giving advice. the way you came across and how you responded to mai and river was unacceptable. at the mix we are a supportive community where we don’t invalidate other people’s feelings. but this isn’t the first time you’ve done this. but I’ll leave it to the mods to deal with it.

eylah · November 3

mai wrote: »

@so_very_tired i understand you saying that you are trying to be supportive and are bad at giving advice but at the end of the day, i personally don’t think that’s an excuse to completely disrespect others and compare their situations to your own. it’s not the first time. it still doesn’t change the fact i will no longer be responding after this comment as i do feel hurt by the disrespect ive been given.

just wanted to say that you can put someone on ignore. by going to your profile and typing in their name and pressing ignore. maybe that can be helpful for you.

Nathan · November 3

@so_very_tired what is your issue mate? For days, you've been making rude comments. I gently pointed out once or twice that you were pushing bounderies, being rude, and being dismissive, and each time, you're still behaving this way to others. I gave a huge amount of leeway before raising it here, but you need to change that tone. That's 5 or 6 incidents now, where you've been rude. First in the film chat, you go on and use it to talk about your issues. Fair enough, no problem with that, and get support for yourself. But then when River entered and showed there zoo pictures they took, you made comments like i thought this was film thread, not river's zoo trip, after going off topic yourself for ages, and made river feel like leaving chat for a short while. Then, you go ahead and make what i think were rude comments to elle, over her tv preferences, instead of just accepting that elle has different preferences to you, and make her feel like she has to defend liking shows that give her some comfort in these difficult times. Then you completely dismissed Mai when she complained about how 4 of her posts got missed in a row accidentally once, instead of understanding why mai feels ignored which is entirely valid as anybody who had 4 posts missed, unintentionally, would feel, and were very abrupt and borderline rude. And then you were rude to eylah yesterday, pushing her on points that if you read the room and her comments was very clear to see she wasn't comfortable talking about, and then when i raised that, you gave me more of a sorry reply than her. And then yesterday, when i was saying farewell, several times you were asking things like: why am i still here? it's the third time i've said goodbye to people. Even when i clearly explained i put in the request and was waiting on it to be sorted. And now, Mai comes on, talks about how she was suffering from anxiety, never slept, and you call it ironic that she missed college. It's incredibly rude and abrupt and dismissive. And then when river says they've missed the bus because they slept in, you say you've not and went in on days where you weren't supposed to, and instantly dismiss their point and invalidate them, as though you didn't complain yourself on here when you missed a bus a few days or week ago. In most chats so far, you've dismissed, invalidated, and been outright rude to others. heck, when toffuna was in crisis the other day, i think you was even rudeish then.

And if you want to do comparisons, my issues dwarf yours. Trafficked at age 4 with no support provided after, full time carer for my severely mentally disabled brother since i was age 11, protecting my mum from his meltdowns and never being able to go out and live my own life, abused by my dad whilst he was present, and right now, my mum is in surgery, and that's not even half of it. The reason we don't compare is because yes i have issues, but that doesn't invalidate your issues mate. It doesn't invalidate anybody's issues. This is a platform to get support on and if you wanted to, support others, not compare who has the worst battles. So don't play the comparison game. It belittles everybody and yourself.

This isn't an attack, please don't think it is, but please, if you haven't got anything supportive to say, don't say it mate. Heck, I used to make rather harsh comments about pineapple pizza on here myself, the mods eventually told me off for it, a few other things happened behind the scenes, and i learnt from it on here. It's something to learn from. Let's keep this a supportive community mate and put this all behind us.

Nemuritai · November 3

@mai I'm kind of late to this thread and everything, but I'm really sorry things went down the way they did. You deserve to have your feelings validated and respected. I know I'm parroting what @eylah has said but it's true

We're here for you

eylah · November 3

Nathan wrote: »

@so_very_tired what is your issue mate? For days, you've been making rude comments. I gently pointed out once or twice that you were pushing bounderies, being rude, and being dismissive, and each time, you're still behaving this way to others. I gave a huge amount of leeway before raising it here, but you need to change that tone. That's 5 or 6 incidents now, where you've been rude. First in the film chat, you go on and use it to talk about your issues. Fair enough, no problem with that, and get support for yourself. But then when River entered and showed her zoo pictures she took, you made comments like i thought this was film thread, not river's zoo trip, after going off topic yourself for ages, and made river feel like leaving chat for a short while. Then, you go ahead and make what i think were rude comments to elle, over her tv preferences, instead of just accepting that elle has different preferences to you, and make her feel like she has to defend liking shows that give her some comfort in these difficult times. Then you completely dismissed Mai when she complained about how 4 of her posts got missed in a row accidentally once, instead of understanding why mai feels ignored which is entirely valid as anybody who had 4 posts missed, unintentionally, would feel, and were very abrupt and borderline rude. And then you were rude to eylah yesterday, pushing her on points that if you read the room and her comments was very clear to see she wasn't comfortable talking about, and then when i raised that, you gave me more of a sorry reply than her. And then yesterday, when i was saying farewell, several times you were asking things like: why am i still here? it's the third time i've said goodbye to people. Even when i clearly explained i put in the request and was waiting on it to be sorted. And now, Mai comes on, talks about how she was suffering from anxiety, never slept, and you call it ironic that she missed college. It's incredibly rude and abrupt and dismissive. And then when river says they've missed the bus because they slept in, you say you've not and went in on days where you weren't supposed to, and instantly dismiss her point and invalidate her, as though you didn't complain yourself on here when you missed a bus a few days or week ago. At every single stage, in most chats so far, you've dismissed, invalidated, and been outright rude to others. heck, when toffuna was in crisis the other day, i think you was even rudeish then.

And if you want to do comparisons, my issues dwarf yours. Trafficked at age 4 with no support provided after, full time carer for my severely mentally disabled brother since i was age 11, protecting my mum from his meltdowns and never being able to go out and live my own life, abused by my dad whilst he was present, and right now, my mum is in surgery, and that's not even half of it. The reason we don't compare is because yes i have issues, but that doesn't invalidate your issues mate. It doesn't invalidate anybody's issues. This is a platform to get support on and if you wanted to, support others, not compare who has the worst battles. So don't play the comparison game. It belittles everybody and yourself.

This isn't an attack, please don't think it is, but please, if you haven't got anything supportive to say, don't say it mate. Heck, I used to make rather harsh comments about pinapple pizza on here myself, the mods eventually told me off for it, a few other things happened behind the scenes, and i learnt from it on here. It's something to learn from. Let's keep this a supportive community mate.

well said. couldn’t of said it better myself. ( hugs nathan )

independent_ · November 3

I always say to people, if you’re bad at giving advice, it’s simply about being there for the person. In my experience, people don’t always want advice or suggestions, they just need someone to listen, someone who cares about what they’re going through. This is what the mix is all about. It’s not always about giving the best advice as we all have different experiences and the best advice for me might not be the best advice for (say for example) @Nathan or @eylah. Because we all come from different walks of life and what works for one person might not work for the next person. If i make a suggestion, I wouldn’t ever be offended if someone didn’t take it onboard, because after all, we’re all human and no 2 of us are the same.

Words can really hurt, even unintentionally. So while I don’t think anyone is trying to be intentionally hurtful here, it’s worth all of us remembering that we’re speaking to real people, who 99% of the time are going through something really hard, by account of the fact that they are here, on a mental health support site.

Let’s all look out for each other today and take care of each other, because without that, where would we be as a community?

mai · November 3

for anyone reading this, i just want to say that whatever your going through matters and how you feel is valid. even if it seems like someone else’s situation might be worse than yours, that doesn’t mean that you and your feelings are wrong. if you’re reading another persons situation and feel that you are someone that wouldn’t find that situation hard to deal with so don’t get why they are, pls just take into consideration that just because you would find it easier doesn’t mean they can’t find it hard. we are all different and cope with things differently. we covered several theories in college and i think the transactional model of stress and coping illustrates how we all cope different pretty well for anyone who needs a bit of help understanding more about how different people cope differently. i hope you’re ok!

Nathan · November 3

so_very_tired wrote: »

I'm going to make this quick because I know @mai isnt going to read this but screw it. Sorry @mai for making you feel like I am being rude and unsupportive towards you. I am really fucking shit at giving advice and I really should of used this thread to just vent about my problems and my shitty life instead of trying to help you and others just to end uo making making everyonefeel worse in the process. Also sorry for anyone else I hurt as well.

@so_very_tired i understand you were trying to be supportive, but it did come across as rude on countless occasions. But if it helps, i was similar. I made comments all the time about pineapple pizza eaters, and my view on them (as a joke) before you joined here. And eventually, the mods took issue with it, i got told off (i still think they were a bit extreme, but that's in the past), and despite that, the community had no issues welcoming me back in, and i continued to be a part of it. It's not that you're a bad person, it's not that I was a bad person, it just is that sometimes people make mistakes if that makes sense. Your still a part of the mix, your still a part of the community, you're still here, just be a little more careful with how you word things and your tone in future, in my opinion mate.

toffuna101 · November 3

mai wrote: »

for anyone reading this, i just want to say that whatever your going through matters and how you feel is valid. even if it seems like someone else’s situation might be worse than yours, that doesn’t mean that you and your feelings are wrong. if you’re reading another persons situation and feel that you are someone that wouldn’t find that situation hard to deal with so don’t get why they are, pls just take into consideration that just because you would find it easier doesn’t mean they can’t find it hard. we are all different and cope with things differently. i think the transactional model of stress and coping illustrates how we all cope different pretty well. i hope you’re ok!

thank you, i really needed that today.

Nemuritai · November 3

mai wrote: »

for anyone reading this, i just want to say that whatever your going through matters and how you feel is valid. even if it seems like someone else’s situation might be worse than yours, that doesn’t mean that you and your feelings are wrong. if you’re reading another persons situation and feel that you are someone that wouldn’t find that situation hard to deal with so don’t get why they are, pls just take into consideration that just because you would find it easier doesn’t mean they can’t find it hard. we are all different and cope with things differently. i think the transactional model of stress and coping illustrates how we all cope different pretty well. i hope you’re ok!

Thank you for writing this, it honestly means a lot. The same goes for you too

I hope that going forward we can all continue to support, listen to and validate each other

River · November 3

I gave up with college completely today 😭 only was meant to have tutor at 12-1 and then art at 3:15-4:45 then done for the day so my tutor has said to just stay off

Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 03.11.25

Comments