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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 15.09.25

LeylaLeyla Community Manager Posts: 346 The Mix Regular
edited 9:36AM in Health & Wellbeing
This is a space to chat or vent about whatever might be on your mind right now, nothing is too big or small!

Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's triggering stuff edition thread, click here.

Comments

  • LeylaLeyla Community Manager Posts: 346 The Mix Regular
    [From @DonnerKebab on the previous thread just before it closed]

    @Redemption sorry i never responded to this sooner. I just wanted to say to you bro a pretty old quote from Churchill. "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm". Right now redemption, you have suffered repeated failures, a huge amount of which are not of your own doing, but rather because of the catastrophic state of the economy and jobs market, and yet here you are today bro, still trying, still applying to jobs, and refusing to give in. That takes strength, perseverance, and an indomitable spirit. It's okay to fear failure, but the most important thing to know is that despite that fear, you tried anyway, and gave it your all. Whilst you keep going, and refuse to give up, you aren't a failure, you're showing more spirit than most others do, and that's something you should be proud of. You aren't a failure at all. You might not be where you thought you would be in life at this stage, and that's okay. You're still young, and you still have a huge amount of time to build. That isn't failure at all. Failure would be not trying.

    You've already started being given interviews, which is a good step forward, eventually, your breakthrough will come in time. It's just keeping going until then mate, and we are with you every step of the way.
  • LeylaLeyla Community Manager Posts: 346 The Mix Regular
    [From @Cutelivejazz on the previous thread just before it closed]

    @DonnerKebab I was really tired last night so I didnt get a chance to talk abt it. I feel invisible like people just dont notice my existence like I dont matter and I just kinda feel like a ghost basically drifting through life like Im either emotionally numb and cant feel anything or im feeling everything all at once. I hate feeling like no one ever notices me like im disposable or forgettable. Also Im pretty pissed at my friend and I was upset abt it and texted my bestie to tell her and she was like oh im so sorry that happened cba to explain what happend so ill just copy paste the text I sent her bc im lazy lol.

    Basically she texted me saying we need to talk and when we were at the school gate she said I was too negative and that I was venting too much and if I really need someone to talk to that bad that I should talk to a therapist (i was telling her abt her friend and I was just whining abt one of the teachers its not like i was telling her all my trauma) and she also said are personalities aren't rly a good match cus I care abt school and she said she doesn't she's annoyed bc I dont mess around with her during study periods I actually study and idk it was just rly hurtful but im glad she told me tho. Sry if some of it doesn't make sense I had to change for anonymity purposes. I rly dont wanna go to school today I just wanna stay at home and sleep and curl up and cry and eat snacks but that unfortunately isn't an option bc I have to be a functioning human being yay. Im gonna fcking kms. But yeah im fine totally dont wanna punch a punching until my knuckles bleed (surprisingly cathartic). Im fine ive delt with worse and I know i have to be stubborn and get thru this bc I cant stop to rest but its fine. Can't wait until A levels are over so I can get out of this hell hole. So now during breaks lunches and study periods im alone and idk that might be a good thing and everyone keeps telling me it's an opportunity to focus on my work but what do I do when I need support who do I go to? My non existent friends? My bestie that cant rly do anything bc we rarely can see eachother? My teachers who dont understand? The pastoral staff who are alright but incompetent are kinda terrifying? Like what do I do? Everyone's like oh your not alone there are people you can talk to but there aren't. The country is in a mental health crisis mental health websites and companies are so overloaded and im just another weight and a another burden to the system. Sometimes i feel like just a number to them just another patient to talk to and get over with. I was asked if I wanted to do counselling and realised it was my old counsellor she was awful I hated it literally begged the school to let me stop it (bc it was in school counselling) but they kept forcing me to go into eventually wore them down and they let me stop the sessions which was fucking traumatic (idk if im allowed to say that was traumatising sorry if im not). I also keep getting told to stop constantly apologising cus it makes me seem weak. I cant help it tho like im the kind of person who flinches if anyone raises their voice so if I feel like someone's mad at me I get really really scared and keep apologising in the hope that maybe they'll get less mad and I genuinely cant explain the panic and fear I experience when I think someone's mad at me especially if im already overwhelmed. But im fine everything all perfect and amazing (im being sarcastic if you cant tell). Anway sorry fir the huge rant im just rapidly losing the fucking will to live.
  • RiverRiver Community Connector Posts: 4,953 The Mix Elder
    I keep not taking my meds
    ✨ ℐ 𝒶𝓂 𝒷𝓇𝒶𝓋ℯ. ℐ 𝒶𝓂 𝒷𝓇𝓊𝒾𝓈ℯ𝒹. ℐ 𝒶𝓂 𝓌𝒽ℴ 𝒾𝓂 𝓂ℯ𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉ℴ 𝒷ℯ ✨

    ✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨
  • CutelivejazzCutelivejazz Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @DonnerKebab im really sorry if im being a burden. I just wanted to check tho are you upset with me?
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 2,014 Boards Champion
    @DonnerKebab im really sorry if im being a burden. I just wanted to check tho are you upset with me?

    @Cutelivejazz I promise your not a burden at all. Just had a few tricky things going on for me at the minute. And i promise, i'm not upset at you at all, You've done nothing wrong.
  • CutelivejazzCutelivejazz Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @DonnerKebab im really sorry I didnt know.
  • CutelivejazzCutelivejazz Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    edited 4:37PM
    -
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 2,014 Boards Champion
    @DonnerKebab im really sorry I didnt know.

    @Cutelivejazz Don't be silly jazz. You've got nothing to be sorry about. I'm still here for you friend.
  • CutelivejazzCutelivejazz Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @DonnerKebab thanks im just scared that your going to get fed up for me im just waiting for the your too much talk happens all the time all people eventually abandon you
  • CutelivejazzCutelivejazz Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @DonnerKebab i know you said you were dealing with a lot so Idk if im allowed to ask this but like do you have any time to talk im just rly struggling and i dont mean to be a burden its just that I dont rly have anyone else to talk to. Im sorry if im being a burden in know you said you were having a rough time and I dont want to add more to your plate so im sorry if im being too much I just dont know where else to go
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 2,014 Boards Champion
    @DonnerKebab thanks im just scared that your going to get fed up for me im just waiting for the your too much talk happens all the time all people eventually abandon you

    @Cutelivejazz I can really understand the fear and worry of that happening, but i can promise you this right now. I'm not ever going to abandon you or anybody on the mix. There is no such thing as talking to much, or me getting fed up with people. I've only been on the mix for 4 months, 2 months of which were really active for me, and i wracked up 2000 posts supporting others so far. You deserve support the same as everybody else, and there's nothing that makes me happier than supporting others like yourself. So i promise, that isn't going to happen with me.
  • CutelivejazzCutelivejazz Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    @DonnerKebab i know but im still going to be expecting it just incase hurts less when you expect it
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 2,014 Boards Champion
    @DonnerKebab i know you said you were dealing with a lot so Idk if im allowed to ask this but like do you have any time to talk im just rly struggling and i dont mean to be a burden its just that I dont rly have anyone else to talk to. Im sorry if im being a burden in know you said you were having a rough time and I dont want to add more to your plate so im sorry if im being too much I just dont know where else to go

    @Cutelivejazz of course i can talk for a bit. You're not a burden at all, and your always allowed to ask friend.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 2,014 Boards Champion
    @DonnerKebab i know but im still going to be expecting it just incase hurts less when you expect it

    @Cutelivejazz i fully understand that. If it helps you to feel a little more secure and safer emotionally, just in case, then it's worth it. All I can promise is that I ain't going anywhere.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 2,014 Boards Champion
    River wrote: »
    I keep not taking my meds

    @River hey river. Could i just ask why you aren't taking them if your comfortable talking a bit about it?
  • CutelivejazzCutelivejazz Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    Leyla wrote: »
    [From @Cutelivejazz on the previous thread just before it closed]

    @DonnerKebab I was really tired last night so I didnt get a chance to talk abt it. I feel invisible like people just dont notice my existence like I dont matter and I just kinda feel like a ghost basically drifting through life like Im either emotionally numb and cant feel anything or im feeling everything all at once. I hate feeling like no one ever notices me like im disposable or forgettable. Also Im pretty pissed at my friend and I was upset abt it and texted my bestie to tell her and she was like oh im so sorry that happened cba to explain what happend so ill just copy paste the text I sent her bc im lazy lol.

    Basically she texted me saying we need to talk and when we were at the school gate she said I was too negative and that I was venting too much and if I really need someone to talk to that bad that I should talk to a therapist (i was telling her abt her friend and I was just whining abt one of the teachers its not like i was telling her all my trauma) and she also said are personalities aren't rly a good match cus I care abt school and she said she doesn't she's annoyed bc I dont mess around with her during study periods I actually study and idk it was just rly hurtful but im glad she told me tho. Sry if some of it doesn't make sense I had to change for anonymity purposes. I rly dont wanna go to school today I just wanna stay at home and sleep and curl up and cry and eat snacks but that unfortunately isn't an option bc I have to be a functioning human being yay. Im gonna fcking kms. But yeah im fine totally dont wanna punch a punching until my knuckles bleed (surprisingly cathartic). Im fine ive delt with worse and I know i have to be stubborn and get thru this bc I cant stop to rest but its fine. Can't wait until A levels are over so I can get out of this hell hole. So now during breaks lunches and study periods im alone and idk that might be a good thing and everyone keeps telling me it's an opportunity to focus on my work but what do I do when I need support who do I go to? My non existent friends? My bestie that cant rly do anything bc we rarely can see eachother? My teachers who dont understand? The pastoral staff who are alright but incompetent are kinda terrifying? Like what do I do? Everyone's like oh your not alone there are people you can talk to but there aren't. The country is in a mental health crisis mental health websites and companies are so overloaded and im just another weight and a another burden to the system. Sometimes i feel like just a number to them just another patient to talk to and get over with. I was asked if I wanted to do counselling and realised it was my old counsellor she was awful I hated it literally begged the school to let me stop it (bc it was in school counselling) but they kept forcing me to go into eventually wore them down and they let me stop the sessions which was fucking traumatic (idk if im allowed to say that was traumatising sorry if im not). I also keep getting told to stop constantly apologising cus it makes me seem weak. I cant help it tho like im the kind of person who flinches if anyone raises their voice so if I feel like someone's mad at me I get really really scared and keep apologising in the hope that maybe they'll get less mad and I genuinely cant explain the panic and fear I experience when I think someone's mad at me especially if im already overwhelmed. But im fine everything all perfect and amazing (im being sarcastic if you cant tell). Anway sorry fir the huge rant im just rapidly losing the fucking will to live.

    This was me this morning at 8am having a meltdown. I had a chaotic day the morning I felt like shit. After physics I was a lot better i was rly cheery and happy and now ive had a bit of a slump again. Also I have to go to eat and I was wondering if you have time to talk later? Sorry I know im being a burden in just dont rly know who else i can go to.
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 2,014 Boards Champion
    Leyla wrote: »
    [From @Cutelivejazz on the previous thread just before it closed]

    @DonnerKebab I was really tired last night so I didnt get a chance to talk abt it. I feel invisible like people just dont notice my existence like I dont matter and I just kinda feel like a ghost basically drifting through life like Im either emotionally numb and cant feel anything or im feeling everything all at once. I hate feeling like no one ever notices me like im disposable or forgettable. Also Im pretty pissed at my friend and I was upset abt it and texted my bestie to tell her and she was like oh im so sorry that happened cba to explain what happend so ill just copy paste the text I sent her bc im lazy lol.

    Basically she texted me saying we need to talk and when we were at the school gate she said I was too negative and that I was venting too much and if I really need someone to talk to that bad that I should talk to a therapist (i was telling her abt her friend and I was just whining abt one of the teachers its not like i was telling her all my trauma) and she also said are personalities aren't rly a good match cus I care abt school and she said she doesn't she's annoyed bc I dont mess around with her during study periods I actually study and idk it was just rly hurtful but im glad she told me tho. Sry if some of it doesn't make sense I had to change for anonymity purposes. I rly dont wanna go to school today I just wanna stay at home and sleep and curl up and cry and eat snacks but that unfortunately isn't an option bc I have to be a functioning human being yay. Im gonna fcking kms. But yeah im fine totally dont wanna punch a punching until my knuckles bleed (surprisingly cathartic). Im fine ive delt with worse and I know i have to be stubborn and get thru this bc I cant stop to rest but its fine. Can't wait until A levels are over so I can get out of this hell hole. So now during breaks lunches and study periods im alone and idk that might be a good thing and everyone keeps telling me it's an opportunity to focus on my work but what do I do when I need support who do I go to? My non existent friends? My bestie that cant rly do anything bc we rarely can see eachother? My teachers who dont understand? The pastoral staff who are alright but incompetent are kinda terrifying? Like what do I do? Everyone's like oh your not alone there are people you can talk to but there aren't. The country is in a mental health crisis mental health websites and companies are so overloaded and im just another weight and a another burden to the system. Sometimes i feel like just a number to them just another patient to talk to and get over with. I was asked if I wanted to do counselling and realised it was my old counsellor she was awful I hated it literally begged the school to let me stop it (bc it was in school counselling) but they kept forcing me to go into eventually wore them down and they let me stop the sessions which was fucking traumatic (idk if im allowed to say that was traumatising sorry if im not). I also keep getting told to stop constantly apologising cus it makes me seem weak. I cant help it tho like im the kind of person who flinches if anyone raises their voice so if I feel like someone's mad at me I get really really scared and keep apologising in the hope that maybe they'll get less mad and I genuinely cant explain the panic and fear I experience when I think someone's mad at me especially if im already overwhelmed. But im fine everything all perfect and amazing (im being sarcastic if you cant tell). Anway sorry fir the huge rant im just rapidly losing the fucking will to live.

    This was me this morning at 8am having a meltdown. I had a chaotic day the morning I felt like shit. After physics I was a lot better i was rly cheery and happy and now ive had a bit of a slump again. Also I have to go to eat and I was wondering if you have time to talk later? Sorry I know im being a burden in just dont rly know who else i can go to.

    @Cutelivejazz of course i can talk a bit later. I'll need a few hours though, but i'll be on here later with a reply to that all. And again, i promise your not being a burden.
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,223 Boards Guru
    hi
  • eylaheylah Posts: 9,234 Supreme Poster
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    hi

    hey <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,223 Boards Guru
    eylah wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    hi

    hey <3

    how are you?
  • eylaheylah Posts: 9,234 Supreme Poster
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    hi

    hey <3

    how are you?

    so so. hru?
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • RedemptionRedemption Community Connector Posts: 5,374 Part of The Furniture
    Thank you @DonnerKebab for your supportive comment and thank you for supporting me yesterday @eylah , nice new profile pic too
  • eylaheylah Posts: 9,234 Supreme Poster
    Redemption wrote: »
    Thank you @DonnerKebab for your supportive comment and thank you for supporting me yesterday @eylah , nice new profile pic too

    thankyou. hugs 🫂
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • toffuna101toffuna101 Posts: 3,223 Boards Guru
    eylah wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    hi

    hey <3

    how are you?

    so so. hru?

    im ok, i have college tomorrow
  • eylaheylah Posts: 9,234 Supreme Poster
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    eylah wrote: »
    toffuna101 wrote: »
    hi

    hey <3

    how are you?

    so so. hru?

    im ok, i have college tomorrow

    gd luck. you got this <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • DonnerKebabDonnerKebab Posts: 2,014 Boards Champion
    I hate that anonymity is something that's not allowed at some places. When you go to a mental health safe haven for immediate mental health support, you're going cause you are looking for support, and then discuss longer term support that required. Why do they need identifying information just to sit and talk about these things for half an hour. I walked 3 bloody miles in the rain to get there, cause they ignored the phone twice, and when I got there, they needed my information to talk about things, so i apologised for wasting there time and walked back. I'm not giving them my information and having a repeat of what happened last time i opened up too much. But damnit that is enraging.
  • CutelivejazzCutelivejazz Posts: 146 Helping Hand
    I hate that anonymity is something that's not allowed at some places. When you go to a mental health safe haven for immediate mental health support, you're going cause you are looking for support, and then discuss longer term support that required. Why do they need identifying information just to sit and talk about these things for half an hour. I walked 3 bloody miles in the rain to get there, cause they ignored the phone twice, and when I got there, they needed my information to talk about things, so i apologised for wasting there time and walked back. I'm not giving them my information and having a repeat of what happened last time i opened up too much. But damnit that is enraging.

    @DonnerKebab so sorry that happened to you it sounds infuriating. And I understand why you would be pissed i would be too if I was in that position. Sorry I cant offer any help but maybe my empathy can offer some consolance i hope.
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