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Anybody want to vent or chat about anything? w/c 15.09.25
Leyla
Community Manager Posts: 346 The Mix Regular
This is a space to chat or vent about whatever might be on your mind right now, nothing is too big or small!
Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's triggering stuff edition thread, click here.
Every Monday morning we will close the thread and start a new one so we have a fresh one each week. If you'd like to check out this week's triggering stuff edition thread, click here.
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@Redemption sorry i never responded to this sooner. I just wanted to say to you bro a pretty old quote from Churchill. "Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm". Right now redemption, you have suffered repeated failures, a huge amount of which are not of your own doing, but rather because of the catastrophic state of the economy and jobs market, and yet here you are today bro, still trying, still applying to jobs, and refusing to give in. That takes strength, perseverance, and an indomitable spirit. It's okay to fear failure, but the most important thing to know is that despite that fear, you tried anyway, and gave it your all. Whilst you keep going, and refuse to give up, you aren't a failure, you're showing more spirit than most others do, and that's something you should be proud of. You aren't a failure at all. You might not be where you thought you would be in life at this stage, and that's okay. You're still young, and you still have a huge amount of time to build. That isn't failure at all. Failure would be not trying.
You've already started being given interviews, which is a good step forward, eventually, your breakthrough will come in time. It's just keeping going until then mate, and we are with you every step of the way.
@DonnerKebab I was really tired last night so I didnt get a chance to talk abt it. I feel invisible like people just dont notice my existence like I dont matter and I just kinda feel like a ghost basically drifting through life like Im either emotionally numb and cant feel anything or im feeling everything all at once. I hate feeling like no one ever notices me like im disposable or forgettable. Also Im pretty pissed at my friend and I was upset abt it and texted my bestie to tell her and she was like oh im so sorry that happened cba to explain what happend so ill just copy paste the text I sent her bc im lazy lol.
Basically she texted me saying we need to talk and when we were at the school gate she said I was too negative and that I was venting too much and if I really need someone to talk to that bad that I should talk to a therapist (i was telling her abt her friend and I was just whining abt one of the teachers its not like i was telling her all my trauma) and she also said are personalities aren't rly a good match cus I care abt school and she said she doesn't she's annoyed bc I dont mess around with her during study periods I actually study and idk it was just rly hurtful but im glad she told me tho. Sry if some of it doesn't make sense I had to change for anonymity purposes. I rly dont wanna go to school today I just wanna stay at home and sleep and curl up and cry and eat snacks but that unfortunately isn't an option bc I have to be a functioning human being yay. Im gonna fcking kms. But yeah im fine totally dont wanna punch a punching until my knuckles bleed (surprisingly cathartic). Im fine ive delt with worse and I know i have to be stubborn and get thru this bc I cant stop to rest but its fine. Can't wait until A levels are over so I can get out of this hell hole. So now during breaks lunches and study periods im alone and idk that might be a good thing and everyone keeps telling me it's an opportunity to focus on my work but what do I do when I need support who do I go to? My non existent friends? My bestie that cant rly do anything bc we rarely can see eachother? My teachers who dont understand? The pastoral staff who are alright but incompetent are kinda terrifying? Like what do I do? Everyone's like oh your not alone there are people you can talk to but there aren't. The country is in a mental health crisis mental health websites and companies are so overloaded and im just another weight and a another burden to the system. Sometimes i feel like just a number to them just another patient to talk to and get over with. I was asked if I wanted to do counselling and realised it was my old counsellor she was awful I hated it literally begged the school to let me stop it (bc it was in school counselling) but they kept forcing me to go into eventually wore them down and they let me stop the sessions which was fucking traumatic (idk if im allowed to say that was traumatising sorry if im not). I also keep getting told to stop constantly apologising cus it makes me seem weak. I cant help it tho like im the kind of person who flinches if anyone raises their voice so if I feel like someone's mad at me I get really really scared and keep apologising in the hope that maybe they'll get less mad and I genuinely cant explain the panic and fear I experience when I think someone's mad at me especially if im already overwhelmed. But im fine everything all perfect and amazing (im being sarcastic if you cant tell). Anway sorry fir the huge rant im just rapidly losing the fucking will to live.
✨ 𝒯ℋℐ𝒮 ℐ𝒮 ℳℰ ✨
@Cutelivejazz I promise your not a burden at all. Just had a few tricky things going on for me at the minute. And i promise, i'm not upset at you at all, You've done nothing wrong.
@Cutelivejazz Don't be silly jazz. You've got nothing to be sorry about. I'm still here for you friend.
@Cutelivejazz I can really understand the fear and worry of that happening, but i can promise you this right now. I'm not ever going to abandon you or anybody on the mix. There is no such thing as talking to much, or me getting fed up with people. I've only been on the mix for 4 months, 2 months of which were really active for me, and i wracked up 2000 posts supporting others so far. You deserve support the same as everybody else, and there's nothing that makes me happier than supporting others like yourself. So i promise, that isn't going to happen with me.
@Cutelivejazz of course i can talk for a bit. You're not a burden at all, and your always allowed to ask friend.
@Cutelivejazz i fully understand that. If it helps you to feel a little more secure and safer emotionally, just in case, then it's worth it. All I can promise is that I ain't going anywhere.
@River hey river. Could i just ask why you aren't taking them if your comfortable talking a bit about it?
This was me this morning at 8am having a meltdown. I had a chaotic day the morning I felt like shit. After physics I was a lot better i was rly cheery and happy and now ive had a bit of a slump again. Also I have to go to eat and I was wondering if you have time to talk later? Sorry I know im being a burden in just dont rly know who else i can go to.
@Cutelivejazz of course i can talk a bit later. I'll need a few hours though, but i'll be on here later with a reply to that all. And again, i promise your not being a burden.
hey
how are you?
so so. hru?