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What is wrong with my life, like do I really deserve pain.

AnimalloverbAnimalloverb Posts: 347 The Mix Regular
in Health & Wellbeing
Just when I thought my week couldn't get any worse, it has gotten worse.
Thank you again God for even more pain. Just what I wanted.

Comments

  • AnimalloverbAnimalloverb Posts: 347 The Mix Regular
    This week alone I have already been to two funerals, and now there is going to be a third one coming up this month. It’s just horrific, and honestly it has left me feeling pretty emotional. On top of that, there is also someone else (not my fiancé) who is in the hospital right now. I don’t really want to go into details about who, but they’re in critical condition and are being transferred to another hospital. That has been really hard, because I just can’t be in two hospitals at once, and of course I have got other things going on in life too right now.

    Another thing on my mind is with the animal-included therapy I offer to young people. I have got someone who is going to be leaving soon due to age. I usually allow young people with SEND to stay longer, but this particular person isn’t SEND, so unfortunately is is their time to move on. Whenever someone leaves, I always get them a gift or ticket to something that they personally enjoy and that would benefit them, so things like passes to aquariums or zoos, event tickets, music or art equipment, and so on. It is something I fund myself because I run the service for free, and I have always made sure everyone who leaves gets that gesture.

    But right now I have got a bit of a dilemma. I really want to give this young person the same experience, but since I have been out of work for a short while after being fired from both jobs, money has been tight. The good news is I have got a new job that i will be starting next week, well actually tomorrow, which I am really happy about, but I don’t know if I will be able to afford their gift in time. I am thinking I might explain to them at their next session that I will still get them what they have chosen, but it may just mean posting it or hand-delivering it later. I am not sure how they will take that, and I feel awful because they really do deserve the same as everyone else. So I am putting a lot of pressure on myself to figure out how to make it happen in time, even though everything else in my life feels pretty overwhelming right now.

    I am sorry for ranting on here yet again.

    There are still loads of things going on, but I Don't necessarily want to share that at the moment, it's not that I Don't want to, it's more that I Don't feel able to as I am not feeling comfortable enough or in a right enough place to say right now.
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