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(I know not all men are like this) my male coworkers/managers are pigs
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Post edited by Sian321 on
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It sounds like you’re carrying so much anger and hurt from being in an environment where your worth feels reduced to whether or not men find you sexually appealing. You said it feels like if you don’t look like a pornstar, then you’re treated as “scum on a fucking shoe who deserves no remorse or respect or empathy in this world.” That sounds so dehumanizing, and exhausting to face every day.
You noticed that not a single male coworker or manager is treated the way 'unattractive' female coworkers and managers are treated, and that really highlights the double standard you’re seeing.
It makes sense that it “eats you inside” when the standard feels so unfair. You do acknowledge that not all men are like this, and you can think of one coworker who is kind to everyone regardless of appearance, but in your experience at this workplace, he’s the exception. That feels really, really sad to read.
When you say, “I hate being in a workplace where a woman’s worth is based on how fuckable we are,” I hear how much this strips away dignity and humanity too.
What is it like for you to carry this much anger day after day in that environment?
And when you think about that one male coworker who treats people kindly, what stands out to you about the difference he makes compared to the others?
Thank you for letting me know that you do feel able to keep yourself safe, and I see just how much courage and energy it might take when - on the inside - this situation is killing you.
Have you ever heard of the Young Women's Trust? They're an organization specifically committed to supporting young women find the fulfilling work and careers they're hoping for, and to have equal opportunities and experiences in the workplace. I wonder if they might be able to offer some advice here - both about coping within your current workplace, and also in your job-hunt for a new role. They offer CV workshops and interview prep support as well as lots of other practical advice and 121 support and coaching: https://www.youngwomenstrust.org/explore-issues/an-equal-world-of-work/.