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Feeling awful

SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
I’m feeling awful today. Spiralling really bad. I feel so lonely.
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Comments

  • LeylaLeyla Community Manager Posts: 312 The Mix Regular
    @Seb Hey Seb, thank you for opening up and letting us know how bad you're feeling right now. Can we ask what sort of thoughts are going through your head right now?
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    Worthless. Lonely. Bad. Too much. Why bother?
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    Still feel the same. Still no one talks to me.
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    Just wanna die to be honest. No point living when no one’s here for me when I need them. Just give everyone everything and get nothing back until I’m absolutely empty.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 9,088 Supreme Poster
    Seb wrote: »
    Just wanna die to be honest. No point living when no one’s here for me when I need them. Just give everyone everything and get nothing back until I’m absolutely empty.

    are you safe?
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    Yeah. Just don’t see the point right now. Not gonna do anything. Never do. Just keep everything to myself because no one actually cares @eylah .
  • eylaheylah Posts: 9,088 Supreme Poster
    if you’re in immediate danger pls call 999.

    crisis helplines:

    shout - 85258
    111 option 2
    hopeline247 - 88247
    samaritans - 116123

    youre cared abt and loved by many. pls take care of yourself. <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    No point. Just gonna be alone until chat later. No one will probably care anyway.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 9,088 Supreme Poster
    Seb wrote: »
    Yeah. Just don’t see the point right now. Not gonna do anything. Never do. Just keep everything to myself because no one actually cares @eylah .

    i care abt you and we all here at the mix care abt you. youre not alone in this . you can reach out here and we will support you bc you deserve to be cared for and supported. pls dont feel like you can’t reach out bc this space is for you as much as it is for anyone else. <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • KatieKatie Community Manager Posts: 1,311 Wise Owl
    edited August 28
    Hey @Seb it sounds like you might be experiencing some suicidal thoughts right now and maybe feel like giving up. Are you considering acting on your thoughts?

    Here at the Mix we take your thoughts of suicide seriously. We hear you and your feelings are important. We just wanted to let you know that if you did feel at any point that you were going to act on your thoughts of suicide, then we would urge you to call the emergency services on 999, or go to your local A&E department to explain your intentions to them, so that they can support you. 

    I also hear that it feels like nobody is here for you right now and I can imagine that feeling quite isolating. Do you have anyone you can speak to about these thoughts - whether they're family, a friend or a medical profession?

    The Community are here for you Seb to support you. Please do keep reaching out on our discussion boards and in our group chats. You deserve support and to feel listened to.

    I'll also pop a few more organisations down below who can listen and support you:
    Samaritans are there for you 24/7. They offer a listening service and emotional support to anyone about any issue, with a special focus on suicidal feelings. You can call the helpline for free on 116 123 or email at jo@samaritans.org. You can also write them a letter and you can find details on their website. Some of their branches offer face to face services and you can find your local branch on their website. For more information you can go to www.samaritans.org

    Shout are a free confidential texting services who can support you when you are in crisis. They're there for moments when you are dealing with suicidal thoughts and need to get to a calmer place. Text THEMIX to 85258 any time, day or night.

    Befrienders Worldwide is a centre provider to give emotional support to people when they are suicidal. The centres also alleviate misery, loneliness, despair and depression by listening to anyone who feels they have nowhere else to turn. The people who run the centres, Befrienders ,are volunteers who have all been specially trained. The work is non-political and non-religious, and volunteers do not try to impose their convictions on anyone. They simply listen. They have a centre finder on their website where you can find a crisis helpline near you https://befrienders.org/
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    I feel like I can’t talk to anyone. I vented to a new friend yesterday and I feel like I did the wrong thing. Can’t do anything right.
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    If I went to the hospital they’d do nothing anyway. Went there nearly a month ago saying I wanted to hurt myself and they sent me home.
  • KatieKatie Community Manager Posts: 1,311 Wise Owl
    Hey @Seb I wonder why you feel like venting to your friend was the wrong thing to do if you feel comfortable sharing?
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    They haven’t answered me but they’ve answered other people. I always do wrong thing. People kinda like me when I’m convenient and nice and happy but then when I get sad everyone leaves me alone.
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    Only things I have going for me are my dog and my coping mechanism. Sick of being alone and feeling unloved when all I do is care for other people.
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    I don’t understand why no one seems to like me or love me. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. Apparently just existing is a terrible awful crime that I didn’t even ask for.
  • KatieKatie Community Manager Posts: 1,311 Wise Owl
    Seb wrote: »
    They haven’t answered me but they’ve answered other people. I always do wrong thing. People kinda like me when I’m convenient and nice and happy but then when I get sad everyone leaves me alone.
    I hear you @Seb and I can imagine this might feel distressing for you. Have you vented to this friend before? I wonder how you would feel speaking to Shout - have you tried them before?
    Seb wrote: »
    Only things I have going for me are my dog and my coping mechanism. Sick of being alone and feeling unloved when all I do is care for other people.
    What coping mechanisms do you find helpful @Seb ? I wonder if they're helping right now with these thoughts? I also hear your dog is a huge part of your life and this is so lovely. What dog do you have? Pets truly are family!
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    I’ve talked to shout before. They’re paid to listen then they leave. I’m talking about an actual person and friend who cares about me personally. It’s not helping me at all just reminding me how alone I feel like I’ll be forever. Even my dogs not a deterrent right now.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 9,088 Supreme Poster
    seems like so much is going on for you rn it’s hard for you to feel cared abt and loved. that is rly hard to feel and i hear you. seb. pls know i know it may be hard for you to feel but everyone at the mix care abt you and your wellbeing and we want you to feel cared for and safe.

    what might help you rn keep safe from these thoughts? have you managed to do any of your coping mechanism today if so how did it go? we’re here for support you through this difficult time and pls know you can reach out to shout if you’re needing crisis support.

    pls keep going you’re so loved and cared for. <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    My coping mechanism isn’t working. Feel even more lonely. Bought something but I’m not sure when it’s coming today. I’ve texted shout but I doubt they’ll be very helpful.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 9,088 Supreme Poster
    Seb wrote: »
    My coping mechanism isn’t working. Feel even more lonely. Bought something but I’m not sure when it’s coming today. I’ve texted shout but I doubt they’ll be very helpful.

    have you ever tried texting hopeline247 before? you can texy them like how you would text shout. they’re helpful in the sense they can work with you on making a safety plan etc. <3

    do you have any hobbies? maybe trying to distract yourself from these thoughts might ease some of the stuff you’re currently experiencing. <3 im here to talk to if you need company.
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    Don’t feel like doing anything. Just wanna disappear. Maybe then people would actually care about me. Too stupid to actually do anything.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 9,088 Supreme Poster
    if you’re in crisis pls contact shout or 111/999. unfortunately we can’t support you safely if you’re in need of emergency help. how does contacting the helplines @Katie recommended? pls know we care abt your safety. <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    I’ve texted shout. I’m still waiting.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 9,088 Supreme Poster
    okay. pls let us know how that conversation goes with shout. you’re deserving of support. <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    I’m not holding out any hope.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 9,088 Supreme Poster
    maybe if the conversation with shout doesn’t go as planned maybe texting hopeline247? bc they can work with you to stay safe and can help you make a safety plan. <3
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
  • SebSeb Posts: 114 The Mix Convert
    Texted both. No answer from either yet. Still upset a bit about yesterday.
  • eylaheylah Posts: 9,088 Supreme Poster
    when you mean by yesterday do you mean in chat?
    ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
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