What I'm struggling with

Adventurelife · August 24

Hey,
I have been out of education for a whole year now, only because I was kicked out last year after not being there for long due to mental health concerns when I was perfectly fine.
I am going to education 4 days a week in September but to a provision that will support me and build up my social skills and then help me transition back into mainstream college next year.
I'm really scared but I'm also really frustrated since I am studying to be a nurse and this happens and I feel like such a failure.

I'm also having a difficult time with being open about how I am feeling, I am finding this hard because I asked for help a few years ago and the service didn't even do anything at all, they just medicated me and mocked me, it was an awful experience.

I have been getting bullied for a long time, I was bullied all through primary and secondary school. I have very little friends.

Blue_lily · August 25

Hi @Adventurelife

Thank you for sharing how you are feeling on here. I hear how opening up in the past has been difficult, as people have not respected what you've been going through. I just want to reassure you that this community will be here for you and that you deserve to feel heard.

It sounds like your time in education has been difficult having experienced bullying in both primary and secondary school and then being kicked out last year. However it sounds like you have a good plan to reintegrate back into education and your goal of being a nurse is so cool and definitely something to pride yourself in. Hopefully the support they offer you in September will help you feel more comfortable as you go back into education.

You mentioned about having few friends and I know this can feel like a lack especially if everyone around you is in these massive friendship groups, but sometimes having few but good quality friendships can be really beneficial.

Have you been able to speak to these friends about the things you've been struggling with and about going back to school, or is this something you don't feel comfortable telling them?

You also mentioned how you feel scared about transitioning back into education which is completely understandable. Are you able to share if there is anything in particular about this transition you are worried about?

You also mentioned how you feel like a failure, and while it may have felt like a step back having been kicked out of school last year, everyone is on their own path and will reach their goals at different times and that is ok. You are allowed to have hiccups along the road to where you want to go and you never know the people you meet, or opportunities that may present themselves as a result. Although your life took a turn you hadn't planned for this doesn't mean you can't become a nurse anymore. Also if you decide nursing isn't for you anymore that is completely ok as well. And I don't know if this means anything to you but I just want to say I don't think you're a failure.

I don't know how loud the thought of being a failure is for you, but if it's something that keeps coming up maybe you could try writing a letter to yourself - imagine a friend is struggling with also feeling like this what would you tell them and write it in the letter to yourself. I find it easier to be compassionate towards myself when I take myself out of the situation and imagine the situation is happening to my friend.
- I hope that advice makes some sense its kinda hard to explain in writing.

Adventurelife · August 25

I have told one of my friends a little bit but I know they are also having a hard time with other stuff right now so I just want to keep it to myself I guess, so I don't make things worse.

I'm just scared I will get kicked out again, It probably won't happen but the fear that it will is so strong and takes over my mind.

What I'm struggling with

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