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tw sexual assault :/
eylah
Posts: 8,640 Legendary Poster
tw sexual assault. rly triggering so pls don’t read if the subject sexual assault is triggering for you.
my friend did a welfare check on me yesterday and police came round today to check in on me. they were so lovely and kind 
they rly listened to me and said they care abt me and want the best for me. they’re annoyed at cmht for discharging me and they said i can open up to them so i did. i spoke to them abt something that happened to me abt a month ago and i told the officers everything. they seemed to rly care abt me and my feelings. but tmr i have to speak to a solo officer abt the next steps and im rly anxious abt it bc i dont have anyone who can support me afterwards. this is a huge thing for me and im just needing a hug and support. i might reach out to rape crisis and talk to them abt tmr and how scared i am but im just rly anxious. im just so scared but so happy bc ppl are listening to me and taking my mind of worries away from me. it’s just shit rly.
they rly listened to me and said they care abt me and want the best for me. they’re annoyed at cmht for discharging me and they said i can open up to them so i did. i spoke to them abt something that happened to me abt a month ago and i told the officers everything. they seemed to rly care abt me and my feelings. but tmr i have to speak to a solo officer abt the next steps and im rly anxious abt it bc i dont have anyone who can support me afterwards. this is a huge thing for me and im just needing a hug and support. i might reach out to rape crisis and talk to them abt tmr and how scared i am but im just rly anxious. im just so scared but so happy bc ppl are listening to me and taking my mind of worries away from me. it’s just shit rly.ppl dont always need advice. sometimes all they rly need is a hand to hold. an ear to listen. and a heart to understand them. 🧸
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Hey lovely @eylah ,
Firstly, a big hug and so much care from me 🫂🫂. You’ve done a really brave thing opening up, it’s not easy, especially with that sort of topic.
You mentioned about the support side of things. In my area we have a team of ISVA’s/CHISVA’s. I can’t say the company name as it’ll give away my county.
An ISVA is an Independent Sexual Violence Advisor. They can help support you, especially with the police side of things and provide any resources relating to your needs. I have a CHISVA (same thing but for young people up to 18). I’d advise you to talk to your solo officer about getting this sort of support if this is something you wish to have, or you can look online to find your local team by searching The Survivors trust, finding an ISVA. This will be kept confidential, no one has to know you’ve spoken to an ISVA/IDVA. I got referred by a nurse during the time I was in hospital as some hospitals have teams of people who do this, I had an IDVA (Independent Domestic Violence Advisor) first then passed onto a CHISVA. They also do have a helpline and you may be able to get access to their service that way.
I hope this helps!! Sending hugs your way🫂
It is so valid that you're feeling frightened about tomorrow, and specifically, about how you might feel afterwards or how isolating that could be. It sounds so hard to be really craving a hug right now and to not be able to have that.
You mentioned you might give Rape Crisis a contact, which sounds really positive. May I ask, might there be anyone else tomorrow you would feel comfortable texting, e.g. any friends for instance, to let them know tomorrow feels hard? And if you didn't wish to share the specifics of what's happening tomorrow with them maybe saying something like - 'Hey, tomorrow's a really nerve-wracking day for me. I don't really want to go into it right now, but I wondered if we could have a fun FaceTime tomorrow evening so I've got a positive distraction?' or something like that. You deserve to be able to feel fully in control of how much you wish to share and to ask for support.
I know in the past you've mentioned that watching a funny Twitch streamers video too can be really calming, so I wonder if queuing some of your favourite videos could also be a nice way to prepare for tomorrow and care for yourself in that way?
Here at The Mix, we will also be here for you as a Community tomorrow, and we're sending our thoughts.
oh thankyou @Lili5Bet
i don’t have any supportive friends unfortunately irl. noone would care that im going through something like that tmr they couldn’t give two shits unfortunately. im watching twitch rn to try distract myself from tmrs call with the detective. i’ve tried telling my friends on my snapchat story that im gonna be dealing with something rly triggering tmr and they just ignored me and didnt say anything or said they dont care. thankyou @Sian321 and @Lili5Bet for replying to me it means the world to me. i think after the call tmr ill update here too as i’ll probably be anxious and sad tmr if that’s ok.
Watching the Twitch videos this evening sounds like a really soothing way to look after yourself.
What was it like for you when the police officers were listening to you before, and when they mentioned about CMHT. How did you feel about that? I wonder too, what helped you to open up in that moment? I wonder if those same things might help tomorrow. You're doing so well to talk about this, and we see how alone or uncared for you're feeling right now, and you're welcome here exactly as you are.
i had to explain to the officers abt why they was discharging me etc and it just made me sad bc before i moved towns the cmht i was under was so lovely and the cmht in the town im in now are just not the best so it just sad.
yeah im watching a new thing on netflix too.
thankyou so much @Sian321
What time is the appointment today?
I hear how nervous you're feeling, and that's so, so valid. What would you say you're most nervous will happen during the appointment? We're here to talk it through.
I'll share below too some tools which might be helpful if you feel panicked at all today:
We'll be here on the other side of the meeting.
I’m not sure what Solo Officers are tbh! They most likely are different. Bless you, thank you Eylah! It’s a tough thing to go through for sure, I’m having to fight my case with victims rights to review now after they shut my case 😢. Don’t apologise, you’re all good!
I can’t find their email. They have a helpline and they’d be able to advise you. It’s 0808 801 0818. Their actual website when you go on it has a locator in there, you put your postcode in there. You should have one near you. Once you confirm your postcode, it will give you the details of your nearest abuse service. Their website is thesurvivorstrust.org 😊.
Anytime, Eylah!! No need to apologise. You’re all good! Sending you hugs
thankyou
a solo is sexual offences liason officer.
No worries
How are you doing this morning?
How have you been taking care of yourself?
thankyou so much
ive just been sleeping bc my friend was suicidal all early hours of this morning and i had to do a welfare check on her so i haven’t had time to be kind to myself.