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Overwhelming week
Redemption
Community Connector Posts: 4,761 The Mix Elder
My family are currently on holiday so I’ve been having to drive my cousin around and handle his post because he sells stuff online but doesn’t have a car. I’ve been dropping off all his items to be shipped and taking him to football and honestly it’s been overwhelming. On top of everything I’m already feeling overwhelmed trying to find my place in life and I feel like I’ve been dumped with responsibilities that aren’t mine. Housework is fine and I don’t mind doing a bit of that like running the washing machine loading the dishwasher taking out the bins as that is just doing my part. But breaks in my routine that aren’t for my benefit are tough and I don’t really want to voice my opinion because I can’t be bothered with arguments. I get really anxious when my routine is disrupted and this has thrown things off completely. I normally spend my evenings relaxing and getting support here through chat sessions but I’ve missed several of them due to all the driving. I hope I don’t seem down by saying this it’s just been a lot to deal with. On Wednesday for example I had to drop him halfway to meet someone who was giving him a lift to football. I don’t know why he couldn’t have just asked the guy to pick him up from our house. I’ve thought about it and he has a few options. He could pay for an Uber which is expensive but would take pressure off me he could ask the guy to pick him up fully he could get the bus which I know isn’t great as I hate it too or he could just skip football until our family comes back.
All this made me realise I need to be more assertive. I’ve told my family I won’t be doing this anymore and I only helped this week because no one else was around. It’s frustrating because it’s not that I don’t want to help but when it starts affecting my mental health and routine it becomes too much. I even started thinking that if I ever lost my car I’d probably just take the bus rather than rely on others. I did that during my course taking the bus daily because driving in the city centre was too stressful. I know routine changes will come when I get a job but that’s for my own benefit. Lately though my routine has been changing to suit other people and that’s what gets to me. I’ve still had a bit of time for PS5 and checking in here but it’s not the same. I’m taking him to football again this Sunday but I’ve decided that might be the last time. I’m probably quitting football after that potentially for good. It’s been getting less enjoyable anyway with people playing way too aggressively and blasting the ball hard not just one or two but several. With everything going on I think I just need a break.
All this made me realise I need to be more assertive. I’ve told my family I won’t be doing this anymore and I only helped this week because no one else was around. It’s frustrating because it’s not that I don’t want to help but when it starts affecting my mental health and routine it becomes too much. I even started thinking that if I ever lost my car I’d probably just take the bus rather than rely on others. I did that during my course taking the bus daily because driving in the city centre was too stressful. I know routine changes will come when I get a job but that’s for my own benefit. Lately though my routine has been changing to suit other people and that’s what gets to me. I’ve still had a bit of time for PS5 and checking in here but it’s not the same. I’m taking him to football again this Sunday but I’ve decided that might be the last time. I’m probably quitting football after that potentially for good. It’s been getting less enjoyable anyway with people playing way too aggressively and blasting the ball hard not just one or two but several. With everything going on I think I just need a break.
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Comments
You mentioned that this week you have had to take on extra responsibilities for your cousin, dropping off items to be shipped, driving him to football, and running other errands. And that's been frustrating and anxiety-inducing because you are really trying right now to find some sense of structure and consistency in your day and to feel in control of how you're living your life. It sounds really tough when your days are being disrupted by all of these added responsibilities and requests - like you wake up and you're not entirely sure how your day is going to go, because it depends on where you'll be needed and by whom. That's stressful!! And frustrating when you're working really, really hard to build a sense of momentum and flow for yourself.
I hear you, and it sounds like you have already been putting up some boundaries with your family, saying no, and listening into what feels right for you. How are you feeling about the idea of tomorrow being the last day that you drive him to football?
This is just me thinking on my feet here, but I wonder if you've heard about 'time-blocking' at all, and whether it might feel helpful for you to choose some set times / set hours throughout your week for non-negotiable parts of your routine. E.g. maybe Monday mornings you want to block out 10am - 12noon for job applications, and 2pm - 4pm for a physical activity. And then you still have some flexibility around those 'blocks' if things do come up, but you're able to be assertive for yourself and to take care of yourself by implementing a bit more consistency or structure? Just a thought!
Either way, it really does sound like its been an intense week, Redemption, and I wonder if there's anything fun or comforting you'd like to do for yourself by the end of the day tomorrow to help unwind and decompress a little bit? You deserve to!!
@Sian321 thanks so much for your message again. It really means a lot to feel understood. You're right, this week has felt unpredictable and a bit overwhelming at times. It’s like I wake up wanting to stick to a plan, but then things get thrown off track with last-minute errands or favours, and that sense of control just disappears. So it’s been frustrating, especially when I’m trying so hard to build structure and get into a steady routine. Im not too bad now though thanks.
I’ve definitely realised I need to be more assertive, like you said and I appreciate you noticing the boundaries I’ve been trying to set. It’s not always easy, especially with family, but I’m learning. Knowing that tomorrow is the last day I’m driving him to football actually feels like a bit of a relief it’s one less thing pulling me away from what I need to focus on. I hadn’t heard much about time-blocking before, but I love the idea. I think setting up some non-negotiable time slots might help me protect the time I need for myself, while still leaving a bit of flexibility for unexpected things. I’ll definitely look into that thanks for the suggestion!
I think I need that reset. Thanks again for your kindness and encouragement it really does help.